Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes all of you, his loyal readers, a very Happy New Year. He hopes that you are all well and not too hung over. Your Maximum Leader, as is his habit, didn’t do too much to celebrate New Years. Indeed, for many years the extent of his celebration consisted of hanging around with his best buddy Kevin. We would watch movies, and then switch over to Dick Clark at about 11:55. We’d watch the ball drop in Times Square, then we would go back to watching movies until we drifted into the clutches of Morpheus. Now that Kevin is in Korea, our old plan is not practical. So, your Maximum Leader stays at home with is family and watches movies and then switches to Dick Clark at about 11:55 and watches the ball drop.

Pretty exciting huh?

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure how he should feel watching Dick Clark. On the one hand, Clark has made great progress since his stroke a few years ago. But on the other hand, your Maximum Leader feels badly watching him. He is overwhelmed by a feeling of being voyeuristic when watching Clark.

You know who your Maximum Leader misses on New Years Eve? Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians. He went out and bought a copy of Auld Lang Syne on iTunes to satisfy this nostalgic feeling.

Anyhoo, your Maximum Leader generally does indulge himself with a bottle of Pol Roger on New Years. But this year he opted to go with an Italian sparkling wine from Veneto. It was very good (he should say it is very good, as he hasn’t quite finished the bottle yet). The Processo he bought is dry with undercurrents of fruit (apples or pears). This sparkling wine has the benefit of only being about $17 a bottle - as opposed to the $50 a bottle your Maximum Leader is used to spending on the Pol Roger. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that he is enjoying the Italian wine as much as he has enjoyed the champagne in the past; but it is still pretty tasty.

Speaking of tasty…

The Almond encrusted pork loin was quite delicious. Your Maximum Leader took is massive pork tenderloin (featured in the post below) and cut it into thirds. He went ahead and prepared two of the three pieces for Christmas. He and his family wound up eating one third on Christmas day. The other prepared third was itself divided into thirds and divied up between your Maximum Leader’s in-laws, parents, and hungry self.

The third portion of tenderloin is thawed out and waiting to be prepared tonight. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t heard from anyone on a good preparation (NB to Mrs P: You teased me with a promise of recipe…). So he thinks he will do a typical rosemary and garlic marinade for a few hours then roast.

In unrelated news, Your Maximum Leader should tell you all that he’s been thinking recently that there is some big question in his life to which he knows the answer. The answer is (apparently) Venice. Yes, the city in Italy. He isn’t sure what the question is, but feels that Venice is the answer.

Anyhoo…

On to New Years resolutions. Your Maximum Leader will share a few of his with you all.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will bring peace to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will compete as his own nation in the summer Olympics in Beijing. He will not finish lower than fourth in every event. He will accomplish this feat by using his heretofore unknown ability to warp the time-space continuum.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will win every Nobel Prize available when he completes his “Grand Unified Theory.” This theory, which will be ultimately be confirmed by scientists from the Gamma-Zeta 294 system 8,433 years from now, will unify all practical questions of physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics, and literature. The key to the unification of science will be the proto-electroneuquark partical - also known affectionately as “The Maxy”.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will end global warming by meditating for 72 hours straight under a blossoming tree surrounded by dancing wood-nymphs.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will be elected President of the United States without receiving a single popular vote. He will win a unanimous vote of the Electoral College. After his inauguration in 2009, Canada, Great Britain, Mexico, Brazil and Lichenstein will voluntarially surrender their national sovreignty to your Maximum Leader and the Mike World Order shall begin.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will wish the previously dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt a happy married life; he will move on to the passionate Lola Astanova as the object of his platonic affections.

In 2008 your Maximum Leader will try to improve the quality (if not quantity) of blog posts here at Naked Villainy.

There you have them. Your Maximum Leader is pretty sure he can keep up with at least two of them…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been thinking about the object of his platonic affections, the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. He’s not been thinking about all the press she is getting as a result of her appearing “fat” in those bikini photos (to which your Maximum Leader linked a few posts ago).

He’s been thinking about her future as the object of his platonic affections.

He’s decided that when the dreamy Miss Hewitt ties the knot with her betrothed, she will cease to be the object of platonic affections.

Yes, your Maximum Leader is throwing Miss Hewitt under the proverbial bus because she’s decided to get hitched.

So your Maximum Leader is on the lookout for a new woman that he can call dreamy and write meaningless posts about.

If you would like to suggest an attrative single woman, feel free to do so in the comments. Your Maximum Leader is leaning towards the lovely, talented, and Slavic (Tagik?) Lola Astanova as the new object of his affection.

Have you heard of Lola Astanova? Her album (named appropriately “Debut” - available exclusively at iTunes) has been played and played on his iPod recently. Here is a Wiki page on Miss Astanova.

Here is a video of Miss Astanova on Fox Business on November 1.

Here is another video for your edification, this time from some morning program…

Yes… Lola…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Scottish actor Ross McCall is one lucky man. He is now engaged to marry the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt.

It seems that the photos (mentioned below) were of McCall and Miss Hewitt on vacation in Hawaii. In one of the photos you can see a big ole ring on the appropriate finger…

Your Maximum Leader will issue a statement on this news as time allows.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was distracted yesterday. Very distracted. He found it hard to concentrate on just about anything. He found himself thinking of the warm southern California sun and the beaches of Malibu as he remembers them from his last visit out to the west coast…

(Excursus: Has your Maximum Leader ever told you all that he had a recurring dream for a number of years about walking on a the beach at Santa Monica with an attractive (and scantilly clad) latina girl? We were eating Wahoo Fish Tacos on the beach and discussing Burke’s “Reflections”. Some might call that odd… It seemed perfectly normal to your Maximum Leader…)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader was distracting and dreaming of California thanks to Mike of Curmudgeonry. You see, Mike is good about sending his (and your) Maximum Leader linky-links related to the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yesterday, he sent his Maximum Leader this link. While your Maximum Leader could overlook the few photos of that included both the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt and her (Scottish) boyfriend - he was a little distracted by the images of the dreamy Miss Hewitt in a bikini.

Now… Your Maximum Leader chanced to be caught glancing at these photos by one of his acquaintances while sipping a drink at the local coffee house. The acquaintance noted that the dreamy Miss Hewitt seemed a bit “hippy.” This is “hippy” as in “having hips” and not the sort of dirty scoundrel we all love to hate (that is “hippie”). Your Maximum Leader happens to like hips. Women have hips you know. They accentuate the curves. That is their purpose. The curve of the hip allures and draws the eye of the man. (Of course, they also facilitate childbirth - but that is another post.) Your Maximum Leader likes his women to look like women and not waifs.

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader was distracted yesterday… And by the way… Thanks Mike for the post-fodder. Your Maximum Leader tips his bejeweled floppy (mylan) cap in your direction.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, when the vapor lock has him, finds himself going to an ole standby for a post… Something about the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt…

Yes… Some website has names the dreamy Miss Hewitt the Number 5 most attrative woman to watch in HDTV. As you all know, your Maximum Leader gives the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt the solid number One position in analog AND HD; but it is nice to see others are thinking about her. (Excursus: Perhaps too many people are thinking about her… If you catch your Maximum Leader’s meaning…)

Also on the list… Okay… Not the whole list but only those who your Maximum Leader has heard of/seen/can comment upon:

10) Angie Harmon. Grrr Baby. That Jason Seahorn is one lucky guy. Your Maximum Leader misses her on Law and Order. We’ll always have re-runs on A&E.

8 ) Hayden Panettiere. Your Maximum Leader has never seen Heros, but this little girl is cute.

6 ) Rebecca Romijn. Once again, your Maximum Leader has never seen “Ugly Betty” - but if he knew that Rebecca Romijn was starring in it, he might try to catch an episode.

1) Giada De Laurentiis. Whew… Todd (Mr Giada De Laurentiis) is one lucky guy. Landing Giada. Not only does he have all those film producers in the family, but Giada to cook for him.

Your Maximum Leader notices that a certain someone from “My Name is Earl” is not anywhere to be found on the list… Hummm… One suspects that the writer of the list had a modicum of taste and discernment…

Carry on.

I’m sorry for the dearth of posting.

I’ve been busy.

So busy, in fact, that I have totally not been paying attention to entertainment news. For instance, I have no idea who won the Emmy for best supporting actress in a comedy.

I guess I can safely assume it was not “she of the enormous forehead,” or the Maximum Leader would have let us know.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was going to wait until next week for this post… But since he’s on a roll now… Here it goes… By the way, isn’t that a catchy title line?

It has been a while since your Maximum Leader has blogged about the platonic apple of his blogging eye, the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. She hasn’t really been in the news much, so your Maximum Leader’s been keeping his fancies to himself. But thanks to Entertainment Weekly dot com, he now has blog fodder…

You see, recently the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the receiving end of EW’s “Stupid Questions” column. Your Maximum Leader read this peice with glee. He’ll excerpt some of his favourite bits…

EW: Do you ever wish you didn’t have the ability to see dead people in real life, too?
JLH: It is a bit taxing. Elvis is constantly asking me questions. Make him a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. Play his record louder in my house. I’m like, ”Elvis, I don’t have time right now!”

Ah… Another lover of Elvis who is not a wacko conspiracy theorist who thinks that Elvis is still alive and in some sort of witness protection program. Your Maximum Leader (a great Elvis fan) was introduced at a party to guy named (if he remembers correctly) Chris, who was reputed to be a “big Elvis fan.” During the course of conversation Chris asked your Maximum Leader if he (your Maximum Leader that is) knew that Elvis was in the witness protection program. Your Maximum Leader admitted that he did not know this and asked why Elvis was in the witness protection program. Chris said it was because of Elvis’ role in breaking up the Peruvian drug mobs. Your Maximum Leader then said that he’d never heard about Peruvian drug mobs. At this point Chris snapped his fingers and pointed at his Maximum Leader with one motion and declared “Exactly.” QED your Maximum Leader supposes…

But back to the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt stupid questions interview!

EW: When people look up at your face, are your breasts like, ”Hey! Eyes down here, buddy!”

JLH: My boobs talk to people a lot: ”Mine are bigger than yours.” They say that when they’re in the mall and they see other ones. And, ”Do these make my butt look big?” By the way, I’m doing this interview in the makeup trailer, and someone just walked in and heard me say, ”My boobs talk a lot.” Everyone here is very concerned for my well-being.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has boobs! Your Maximum Leader had never noticed… She does have lovely eyes, and pretty hair.

EW: John Mayer reportedly wrote a hit song about you. To save time for our fact-checkers, will you confirm that your body is a wonderland, or at least possesses characteristics similar to one?
JLH: My body is far from a wonderland. My body is more like a pawnshop. There’s a lot of interesting things put together, and if you look closely you’d probably be excited, but at first glance, not so much.

Oh… This sets up so many comments. But the one your Maximum Leader will settle on is: “Jennifer… Love… Your Maximum Leader has a gun he’d like to pawn…”

Anyhoo… If you are interested the whole piece is here.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader uses a customized My Yahoo page as his home page. Of course, you - the loyal reader - might have already noticed this as your Maximum Leader often finds articles to link from the Yahoo feeds of the various news wire services. Your Maximum Leader wonders if his use of the Yahoo page classifies him as a fossil? It seems so 1996… Humm… 1996/7 might have been the year that your Maximum Leader first customized his Yahoo page… Gawd…

Anyhoo…

From time to time Yahoo dishes up a piece that your Maximum Leader wouldn’t ordinarially click through and read, but for some reason this title caught his attention: What His Celeb Crush Says About Him. Your Maximum Leader admits his reasons for clicking on the link were purely salacious. He was hoping to catch a candid photo of some attractive female celeb. Specifically, he was hoping to catch a photo of the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Well… Was he disappointed when he finally read through and read the article? Yes he was. Having a “crush” on Angelina Jolie may mean that a man likes: “a do-gooder woman who also isn’t afraid to show a bit of a wild streak. It’s the reason why Jolie tops so many men’s wish lists: They want the woman who is good, but not too good. And the woman who is sultry, but not too sultry.” Great Jeezey Creezey! What mindless tripe that is. We all know that Angelina Jolie was positively nutty prior to her determining to be a mom. Marrying Billy Bob, wearing blood, “cutting” herself. All signs of being crazy. Now that she is a mom she is a do-gooder. Has Angelina done anything wacky recently? And by wacky your Maximum Leader isn’t talking about joining the Council on Foreign Relations so she could pick Henry Kissinger’s brain on the crisis in the Sudan. Nope… She hasn’t.

All in all the piece was just sad. It didn’t even attempt to offer any insight as to why a man (like your Maximum Leader) might have a “crush” on the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. Since it didn’t, allow your Maximum Leader to offer some insight. If your Maximum Leader has a “crush” on the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt it may mean that he likes young attractive women who seem to have a sense of modesty (in that they will not pose nekkid in some magazine) yet still are sexy. It may mean that he likes women who seem “grounded” and “real” and not all completely caught up in Hollywood.

Then again… It may mean nothing…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has gone what, a week or more, without writing a post about the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt? At least a week anyhow…

Well… What should your Maximum Leader read today but that the dreamy Miss Hewitt won a Saturn Award for Best Actress Science Fiction, Horror, or Fantasy Television program. Take THAT Mr and Mrs Emmy! Hah! Your silly golden statue ain’t got nuthin’ on the Saturn Award! Nuthin’

Okay… Your Maximum Leader admits that he’s never heard of the Saturn Awards until this very day. They seem to give away some shiny golden thingie. One must wonder if the star must receive the award in person, or if they can just have their housekeeper sign for it when the UPS guy delivers it after awards show airs on a Los Angeles area cable access channel.

Anyhoo… Congratulations to the very dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. You won a best actress award, your series was picked up for another season. Things are going well for you. They would be going better for you if you would drop your Maximum Leader a line from time to time… But hey, you must be a busy woman.

A few days ago, our friend - the delightful Mrs P - directed your Maximum Leader towards an article in the Daily Mail about the very beautiful Sophia Loren. It seems that Mrs. Loren recently attended a party for her film studio. At the party Miss Loren (or is it Mrs Ponti? - aged 72) wore a dress with a rather plunging neckline. (If you clicky on the linky you will see her in the dress.) Now some are speculating that Miss Loren (really - should she really be Mrs Ponti?) has gone under the knife the enhance her “figure.”

Frankly, your Maximum Leader doesn’t know - and frankly doesn’t much care - if Sophia Loren has had cosmetic surgery. If she has, he will admit that he doesn’t understand why she might have done so. Regardless, for over 50 years Sophia Loren has been a stunningly beautiful woman. Your Maximum Leader would (if he were single and unencumbered by family - or some would say morals) gladly submit to a date (or two) with Sophia Loren. She is a beautiful woman (and reportedly she is politically right of center - which is always a plus…). What hormonally normal man (who hasn’t taken a religious vow of some sort) wouldn’t?

And finally… It seems Maxim Magazine has come out with their list of the top 100 best looking women. Topping the list - Lindsay Lohan. (If you want to just peruse the list itself here it is.) Not appearing on the list - the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt (frankly neither does Sophia Loren).

To this your Maximum Leader can safely declare that whoever it is at Maxim that thinks up this list is obviously smoking crack or something… Whoever thinks up this list should also be glad that the Mike World Order (MWO) is not upon us. For if it were… That man (or woman, or group) would be dragged out and shot.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure why the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt isn’t the celebrity spokesperson for more stuff. Hanes reports in their earnings filing with the SEC that the All-over Comfort Bra is selling well. It wouldn’t be a stretch (heh) to say that Hanes’ campaign featuring the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt is boosting (heh) the bottom line of the company.

If only more companies would wake up and smell the coffee… Jennifer Love Hewitt is dreamy, and good at selling stuff.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that NBC is going to be starting some program called “Raines.” In the show, star Jeff Goldblum will play a detective who sees dead people and uses the information the dead can give him to solve crimes and put their spirits to rest.

Hello? McFly? Hello?

Riddle your Maximum Leader this. Isn’t this program already on TV? Isn’t it “The Ghost Whisperer” starring the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Really now. Why would you watch Jeff Goldblum?

When you could watch the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Your Maximum Leader rests his case.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader seems to be at a loss for writing original content. He blames this in part on his Xbox 360 and his kids. He’s been spending more quality time with his kids, and that cuts into blogging time. He has also been spending what free time he has playing “Gears of War” on his Xbox.

So… Instead of writing, your Maximum Leader continues to indulge in posting video/image content of the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt.

As promised… Here is the dreamy Miss Hewitt’s new Hanes ad:

And while we’re at it… Here are outtakes from the ad:

Many thanks to loyal reader Mike L for the links.

By the way… Check out Mike’s post about the specially trained Capuchin Monkey. Simian SWAT team members…

Your Maximum Leader wonders if he should start to feel like Chuck Heston…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as longtime readers know, is something of a fan of the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt. At the risk of offending readers who are looking for more villainy and less dreamy “Love,” your Maximum Leader is going to post another photo of the beautiful Miss Hewitt.

Yes, yes. He hears your protestations now. There was a photo of Jennifer Love Hewitt looking particularly dreamy posted here last week. That is true. It was her birthday. This new photo is more recent. It was taking at the Oscar viewing party she hosted out in LA on Sunday. (Alas, your Maximum Leader’s invite must have been delayed in the cross-country mail…) So this photo, as it is newer, is better.

Many thanks to loyal minion Mike L, for pointing your Maximum Leader in the direction of these photos over at Hollywood Tuna.

Carry on.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Stop the presses! The Hanes company has announced that the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt will be their new spokeswoman for the new and improved All-Over Comfort Bra with ComfortSoft¬¨?Ü Straps. According to the release:

Hewitt will debut in her first Hanes television ad on March 1 using 15- and 30-second spots where viewers will get a sneak peek into a day in her life at a fictional photo shoot with the actress. As she navigates through a gamut of wardrobe changes, coordinated by stylist-to-the-stars Jessica Paster, Hewitt dons various looks from rocker to romantic, until she decides that even the most fabulous designer dress doesn’t look stylish or camera-ready with a bra strap that continuously slips off her shoulder. Hewitt discards the ill-fitting bra, and puts on her Hanes All-Over Comfort Bra with ComfortSoft Straps. Problem resolved - now she is fashionable and comfortable once again.

You know, your Maximum Leader is told that there is nothing more dreamy than Jennifer Love Hewitt in a Hanes All-Over Comfort Bra with ComfortSoft Straps.

Your Maximum Leader now thinks that there might be an official bra of the Mike World Order…

Rest assured, loyal minions. When these ads are available on You Tube, they will be available at Naked Villainy.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is under all sorts of pressure right now. The Wee Villain is not well. He has a nasty illness and we’ve now discovered that he is likely allergic to the medicine he’s been given. Not lots of fun. As you can imagine, your Maximum Leader has little time to blog today.

But before he goes…

Let him commend to you this post over at Irish Elk. Your Maximum Leader agrees with the sentiment. Sometimes a good fight is what you need in hockey to show that you can’t be pushed around. It is part of the game and should be. Your Maximum Leader happens to like the old “Canadian” style game a little better than the “International” game. Plus, your Maximum Leader would like to see more clips of Don Cherry narrating fights saying “Look here. Two guys mixing it up a little. Nothing wrong with that.”

Did you see the squid gigante that those fishermen caught the other day? Did ya? It is cool. Here is a linky link.

Also… Have you been following the breakdown of the Italian government? Your Maximum Leader has. You know, he ought to try and learn italian so that he can read the papers over there and find out more about what is going on. Until then, he’ll have to settle for the news wires. Frankly, your Maximum Leader hopes for the most unlikely outcome - which is new elections. It is more likely that Romano Prodi will form a new coalition government with mostly left-center parties. He might jettison some of his hard-left supports and tryand woo some right-center groups to join the coalition.

But elections would be cooler…

Your Maximum Leader will report, sadly, that the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt did not accept your Maximum Leader’s invitation to dinner yesterday to celebrate her birthday. It is probably just as well since the Wee Villain wasn’t up to snuff… But she was kind enough to do an interview with CNN in which she said she’d like to be a dork… Jennifer, Love, be sure your Maximum Leader likes you just the way you are.

And finally… One last call for bloggers/people in the greater DC area who might want to see the play Richard III with your Maximum Leader… Contact your Maximum Leader if you’re interested…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, upon checking his calendar, discovered that today was noteworthy for two reasons.

The first reason is that it is Ash Wednesday and a holy day of obligation to those of you who are Catholic, unreformed Anglican, traditionalist Episcopal, or some other Christian sect that is beginning the season of Lent.

The second reason, and the major reason behind this post, is that on this day (February 21) in 1979 the super dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt was born. Yes, the dreamy Miss Hewitt is, today, 28 years old. This makes her slightly less than 10 years younger than your Maximum Leader. But hey! Do silly things like age really mean anything in these times?

The dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt is, as longtime readers know, the object of your Maximum Leader’s purely platonic affections. (He is afterall a happily married man.) Unlike other bloggers who yearn for the day that the dreamy Miss Hewitt bares herself on screen or in print, your Maximum Leader finds her decision to not bend to objectification admirable. While the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt might be a typical (misguided) Hollywood liberal type, she does seem to have her heart in the right place. Compared to other starlets out there, the dreamy Miss Hewitt doesn’t do anything that would make one want to cover the kids eyes lest they see something they shouldn’t on the television.

Happy day “Love.” Your Maximum Leader wishes you many happy returns.

Ah… She’s looking mighty dreamy…

Carry on.