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Great Weekend.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is tired. He is tired due to a combination of lack of sleep and the onset of some nasal stuffiness.

Why is your Maximum Leader tire due to lack of sleep? Well… Friday night he went to a formal ball and didn’t get home and to bed until way past his normal bedtime. Indeed, he was only crawling into be at 2am. Then he woke up on Saturday morning to the loving embrace of his villainous progeny. That occured at about 7 am.

Then on Saturday, your Maximum Leader and his good friends Kevin, Smallholder and Polymath got together and went out to see Bruce Campbell’s new flick “My Name is Bruce” at the E Street Cinema in DC.

The orginal plan was for Smallholder to buy tickets to the 7:45 pm showing. After the 7:45 showing the man himself, Bruce Campbell, would give a little talk and answer some questions. Being geeks, this appealed to us all.

Alas, Smallholder isn’t as technology savvy as we would like. He has trouble with Al Gore’s fancy interwebs and clicked on the 5:30 pm showing (one without Bruce Campbell). So… We saw the early showing and missed out on Bruce Campbell.

We toyed with the idea of trying to sneak around in the the cinema and insinuate ourselves into the 7:45 showing and get to see the movie twice and Bruce Campbell once. Alas… There were cinema employees crawling all over the place to assure that this very course of action could not take place. Your Maximum Leader supposes that if we’d had a little more time to plan (and slightly fewer scruples) we could have made it work out. As it turned out, we now have something to hold over the Smallholder’s head and did get to see the film. Mocking Smallholder for not being able to click the correct circle will almost be worth missing the main event.

After the film, we four trudged up to Georgetown and had sandwiches at “The Tombs” - a favorite of Kevin’s since his Hoya days.

After “The Tombs” we dropped Kevin off at his house and returned to the Villainschloss. Then we watched Tivo’ed episodes of “Chelsea Lately” and “Get Wild with Cindy Garrison.” We turned in at about 1am. Then it was up at 7am with the kiddies and breakfast. Smallholder and Polymath left in the late morning to return to their homes. Your Maximum Leader cleaned up the Villainschloss and watched football. It was during football that he realized that his nose was runny and that he was feeling worn down. Rather than doing the smart thing and going to bed early, he had to stay up and watch the Redskins/Cowboys game.

Tonight he will likely be out by 8 pm…

Review of the film will follow…

Carry on.

Iglooit

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has a bad case of the sniffles. He supposes the fall alergy season is upon him and he needs to get back on his allergy medication and some decongestants. For a condition that is reasonably harmless (watery eyes, stuffy sinues, runny nose), it can really make you feel like crap. And when you feel like crap, you probably shouldn’t blog.

(Excursus: Your Maximum Leader thought that perhaps the good Smallholder would post some more yesterday… But apparently he blew is proverbial wad the day before with his amusement concerning William Henry Seward. By the way… Care to see the Smallholder in front of William Henry Seward’s House? Clicky here for the image. Three posts in one day… Should we expect a three month wait now before another post?)

Now some of you might be wondering about the title of this post… Iglooit. Well, your Maximum Leader has learned that iglooit is the plural of igloo. You know iglooit. The snow/ice block shelters built by the Inuit. Villainette #1 had a school project that required her to learn all about iglooit. She also had to build one. Mrs Villain suggested using sugar cubes to build an igloo. This seemed like a sensible idea. The sugar cubes would approximate the texture and color of snow. It seemed to make sense. And your Maximum Leader assumed that (the elementary school teacher) Mrs Villain had done some sort of project like this in the past. Well… He assumed incorrectly. She’d never done anything like this before.

Well… Allow your Maximum Leader to tell you something. Building an igloo out of sugar cubes is a royal pain in your arse. It might have been a little easier if we had used a fast drying glue. But we had a large supply of Elmer’s white glue, and that was the binding medium of choice. Eventually, your Maximum Leader had to shore up the interior with wads of (removable) paper towels to keep the structure from collapsing while drying. Mrs Villain decided to use some leftover vanilla cake icing as a mortar on the exterior of the structure (sort of like the Inuit using loose snow to fill in any gaps or cracks between blocks).

Now your Maximum Leader has described his role and Mrs Villain’s role in building this quasi-confectionary igloo. Allow him to assure you that the majority of the work was in fact done by Villainette #1. While the total effect is not Hollywood-special-effects-model quality; it is perfectly fine for a 5th grade project for a 10 year old. The igloo is a little lopsided, but the effect is right.

Oh yes… Your Maximum Leader forgot to mention the role of Villainette #2 and the Wee Villain in all this construction. Villainette #2 felt her role was that of building inspector. Her comments were “it’s leaning over too much here” and “you shouldn’t leave so much space over here” and “I don’t think that looks like a dome.” Villainette #2 was eventually banished from the construction site. The Wee Villain felt his role was to check the quality of the building materials. So he would come and sneak up and steal sugar cubes from the box and then run away and eat them. The would also dip his fingers into the cake icing and then lick them clean.

Your Maximum Leader imagines that he’ll be finding partially eaten sugar cubes and globs of icing all over the house for the next week…

Carry on.

The Maximum Leader Is Right (For Once)

The Maximum Leader recently explained why he is opposed to “pix” on the web.

I wish he had posted that before I posted my picture.

grizzly-adams.jpg

Ladies, please. Please. Please stop with the love letters, okay? I’m happily married.

And now for something completely different…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to let you all know that if he was filling up the Villainmobile and happened to be short on cash; he would gladly leave the Smallholder with the filling station owner as a “deposit.”

Just sayin’.

Carry on.

The Smallholder

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knows that in beautiful Albemarle County, Virginia the manure splattered Smallholder is celebrating a milestone. In that area of the great Commonwealth of Virginia where people still think of themselves as Thomas Jefferson’s neighbour, our friend the Smallholder has turned one year older today.

We haven’t been blessed with his (squishy) centrist musings recently. But deep down all readers of this space know that they are longing for a lengthy post extolling the virtues of clean farm living, hogs, breeding dairy cows, and - of course - toad sexing.

Who knows… Today might be the day that the Smallholder breaks his self-imposed (or should we say - farm-imposed) silence. Then again, this might be just another day spent educating the youth of Viriginia followed by and afternoon of mending fences, feeding hogs, moving cows from one paddock to another, or enjoying view from the front porch with a beer and reflecting on how good his life is.

Happy Birthday Mark.

Carry on.

Red Dawn Quiz Pt 2: Smallholder

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader went and took the Red Dawn quiz for Smallholder. The results are unsurprising.

Erica
Erica…The Feisty One…

Which Red Dawn Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay they are surprising. Your Maximum Leader wouldn’t describe Smallholder as “feisty.”

Carry on.

I guess this means…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Stanley “Tookie” Williams was executed last night. Your Maximum Leader isn’t shedding any tears over the state’s actions in this case. Indeed, your Maximum Leader is glad that California is starting to kill some of the people they have on death row.

And now that Stanley “Tookie” Williams is gone your Maximum Leader wonders… Does this mean that the nickname “Tookie” is back “on the market” and available for others to use? Because if that is the case your Maximum Leader thinks he’s going to start referring to the Smallholder as “Tookie.” Or perhaps he’ll use some “Tookie” variant. Like calling Smallholder “Lil’ Took” or “Took holder” or “Holstein-shizzle.”

Your Maximum Leader will see the right glove when it fits…

Carry on.

Blog Polling

For the Ladies:

Foreign Minister or the Minister of Propaganda? Defend your answer.

For the Gentlemen:

Princess Sadie or Smallholder? No explanation necessary.

Believe.

    About Naked Villainy

    • maxldr

    Villainous
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      "smallholder"-at-nakedvillainy-dot-com

    • E-mail the Minister of Propaganda:
      "thedirector"-at-nakedvillainy-dot-com

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