Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wonders if anyone in America still has a working coal fired furnace in their home. Further, your Maximum Leader wonders if anyone has a coal stove in their home anymore.

When your Maximum Leader was very young he remember a neighbour having a small coal-fired stove in their parlor. He remembers the hissing sound the burning coal made. He also remembers the room as being very very warm. He can visualize the bucket of coal next to the stove and the small shovel hanging on the side of the bucket.

He remembers the coal as being very comforting.

So… Does anyone out there use coal to heat their house any more?

Carry on.

But if anyone cares, you can see me getting schooled by a neoconfederate over in the comments at Skippy’s casa.

Skippy, I apologize for threadjacking and feeding the trolls.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sometimes sits in the Villainschloss and wonders if he should have brought children into the world. He loves his three children. He would trade his life for them. But he really worries about the world he’s brought them into. When he thinks about the future he doubts the viability of the species. If he was placing bets, he’d put money on cockroaches. (But then again, who wouldn’t? During the Cold War if you had to put a bet on which species would inhabit the Earth in 500 years you’d have chosen the cockroach over the human. Frankly, the cockroach is a good bet in any political/economic/environmental future-casting situation.)

What is causing your Maximum Leader to be so melancholy when thinking forward? Is it Super Tuesday results? Nope. Is it the Packers not making it to the Super Bowl? No. What then could it be?

Try this on:

Britons are losing their grip on reality, according to a poll out Monday which showed that nearly a quarter think Winston Churchill was a myth while the majority reckon Sherlock Holmes was real.

Egads!

It gets worse:

The survey found that 47 percent thought the 12th century English king Richard the Lionheart was a myth.

And 23 percent thought World War II prime minister Churchill was made up. The same percentage thought Crimean War nurse Florence Nightingale did not actually exist.

Three percent thought Charles Dickens, one of Britain’s most famous writers, is a work of fiction himself.
Indian political leader Mahatma Gandhi and Battle of Waterloo victor the Duke of Wellington also appeared in the top 10 of people thought to be myths.

Meanwhile, 58 percent thought Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional detective Holmes actually existed; 33 percent thought the same of W. E. Johns’ fictional pilot and adventurer Biggles.

Great jeezey chreezey! There are still people alive who knew Churchill! There are still Britons alive who knew Churchill. Humm… Let your Maximum Leader think on this… How about… Oh… The Queen. As your Maximum Leader recalls, Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill was Queen Elizabeth II’s first Prime Minister. Yet 23% of Britons believe Churchill to be a myth.

Your Maximum Leader is (surprisingly) willing to give (stupid) people a pass in thinking that Richard I (the Lionheart) is a myth. With all the Robin Hood stuff out there and every single crusader movie ever made having some sort of Richard cameo popular culture has helped to push society towards the mythic Richard.

But Winston Churchill a myth?!?!!!!!

Your Maximum Leader weeps for the future.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been so busy of late that he just now realized that today is Robert Burns day. As he just now realized the day, he’s not made plans. It is unlikely that he will have a big Burns Supper. It is likely, however, that he will consume some of the water of life (as it were).

After dinner (whatever that may be) he will crack open his book of Burns’ poetry and read some to the family. He may read this particularly well-known Burns poem (which his daughters particularly liked last year).

To A Mouse (1785)

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie,
Oh, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickering brattle!
I was be laith to rin an’ chase thee,
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!

II

I’m truly sorry man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion
An’ fellow-mortal!

III

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
‘S a sma’ request;
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
And never miss’t!

IV

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
Its silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,
Baith snell an’ keen!

V

Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,
An’ weary winter comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro’ thy cell.

VI

That wee bit heap o’ leaves an stibble,
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!

VII

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft a-gley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

VIII

Still thou art blest, compared wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I cannot see,
I guess an’ fear!

Your Maximum Leader suspects he’ll also get out the kilt and wear it to dinner. Perhaps he’ll even post a photo if there is a clamor to see your Maximum Leader’s knees.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was out and about today socializing a little. In the course of conversation one of your Maximum Leader’s friends mentioned that they would have to “read the riot act” to some of their co-workers. Upon hearing this, your Maximum Leader asked if anyone had actually read the Riot Act.

Your Maximum Leader has, of course. And for your edification, he reproduced it here:

An Act for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies, and for the more speedy and effectual punishing the rioters.

I. Whereas of late many rebellious riots and tumults have been in divers parts of this kingdom, to the disturbance of the publick peace, and the endangering of his Majesty’s person and government, and the same are yet continued and fomented by persons disaffected to his Majesty, presuming so to do, for that the punishments provided by the laws now in being are not adequate to such heinous offences; and by such rioters his Majesty and his administration have been most maliciously and falsly traduced, with an intent to raise divisions, and to alienate the affections of the people from his Majesty therefore for the preventing and suppressing of such riots and tumults, and for the more speedy and effectual punishing the offenders therein; be it enacted by the King’s most excellent majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the lords spiritual and temporal and of the commons, in this present parliament assembled, and by the authority of the same, That if any persons to the number of twelve or more, being unlawfully, riotously, and tumultuously assembled together, to the disturbance of the publick peace, at any time after the last day of July in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and fifteen, and being required or commanded by any one or more justice or justices of the peace, or by the sheriff of the county, or his under-sheriff, or by the mayor, bailiff or bailiffs, or other head-officer, or justice of the peace of any city or town corporate, where such assembly shall be, by proclamation to be made in the King’s name, in the form herin after directed, to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, shall, to the number of twelve or more (notwithstanding such proclamation made) unlawfully, riotously, and tumultuously remain or continue together by the space of one hour after such command or request made by proclamation, that then such continuing together to the number of twelve or more, after such command or request made by proclamation, shall be adjudged felony without benefit of clergy, and the offenders therein shall be adjudged felons, and shall suffer death as in a case of felony without benefit of clergy.

II. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That the order and form of the proclamation that shall be made by the authority of this act, shall be as hereafter followeth (that is to say) the justice of the peace, or other person authorized by this act to make the said proclamation shall, among the said rioters, or as near to them as he can safely come, with a loud voice command, or cause to be commanded silence to be, while proclamation is making, and after that, shall openly and with loud voice make or cause to be made proclamation in these words, or like in effect:
Our sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the act made in the first year of King George, for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God save the King.
And every such justice and justices of the peace, sheriff, under-sheriff, mayor, bailiff, and other head-officer aforesaid, within the limits of their respective jurisdictions, are hereby authorized, impowered and required, on notice or knowledge of any such unlawful, riotous and tumultuous assembly, to resort to the place where such unlawful, riotous, and tumultuous assemblies shall be, of persons to the number of twelve or more, and there to make or cause to be made proclamation in manner aforesaid.
And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That if such persons so unlawfully, riotously, and tumultuously assembled, or twelve or more of them, after proclamation made in manner aforesaid, shall continue together and not disperse themselves within one hour, That then it shall and may be lawful to and for every justice of the peace, sheriff, or under-sheriff of the county where such assembly shall be, and also to and for every high or petty constable, and other peace-officer within such county, and also to and for every mayor, justice of the peace, sheriff, bailiff, and other head-officer, high or petty constable, and other peace-officer of any city or town corporate where such assembly shall be, and to and for such other person and persons as shall be commanded to be assisting unto any such justice of the peace, sheriff or under-sheriff, mayor, bailiff, or other head-officer aforesaid (who are hereby authorized and impowered to command all his Majesty’s subjects of age and ability to be assisting to them therein) to seize and apprehend, and they are hereby required to seize and apprehend such persons so unlawfully, riotously and tumultuously continuing together after proclamation made, as aforesaid, and forthwith to carry the persons so apprehended before one or more of his Majesty’s justices of the peace of the county or place where such persons shall be so apprehended, in order to their being proceeded against for such their offences according to law; and that if the persons so unlawfully, riotously and tumultuously assembled, or any of them, shall happen to be killed, maimed or hurt, in the dispersing, seizing or apprehending, or endeavouring to disperse, seize or apprehend them, that then every such justice of the peace, sheriff, under-sheriff, mayor, bailiff, head-officer, high or petty constable, or other peace-officer, and all and singular persons, being aiding and assisting to them, or any of them, shall be free, discharged and indemnified, as well against the King’s Majesty, his heirs and successors, as against all and every other person and persons, of, for, or concerning the killing, maiming, or hurting of any such person or persons so unlawfully, riotously and tumultuously assembled, that shall happen to be so killed, maimed or hurt, as aforesaid.

III. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That if any persons unlawfully, riotously and tumultuously assembled together, to the disturbance of the publick peace, shall unlawfully, and with force demolish or pull down, or begin to demolish or pull down any church or chapel, or any building for religious worship certified and registred according to the statute made in the first year of the reign of the late King William and Queen Mary, intituled, An act for exempting their Majesty’s protestant subjects dissenting from the church of England from the penalties of certain laws, or any dwelling-house, barn, stable, or other out-house, that then every such demolishing, or pulling down, or beginning to demolish, or pull down, shall be adjudged felony without benefit of clergy, and the offenders therein shall be adjudged felons, and shall suffer death as in case of felony, without benefit of clergy.

IV. Provided always, and be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That if any person or persons do, or shall, with force and arms, wilfully and knowingly oppose, obstruct, or in any manner wilfully and knowingly lett, hinder, or hurt any person or persons that shall begin to proclaim, or go to proclaim according to the proclamation hereby directed to be made, whereby such proclamation shall not be made, that then every such apposing, obstructing, letting, hindering or hurting such person or persons, so beginning or going to make such proclamation, as aforesaid, shall be adjudged felony without benefit of clergy, and the offenders therein shall be adjudged felons, and shall suffer death as in case of felony, without benefit of clergy; and that also every such person or persons so being unlawfully, riotously and tumultuously assembled, to the number of twelve, as aforesaid, or more, to whom proclamation should or ought to have been made if the same had not been hindred, as aforesaid, shall likewise, in case they or any of them, to the number of twelve or more, shall continue together, and not disperse themselves within one hour after such lett or hindrance so made, having knowledge of such lett or hindrance so made, shall be adjudged felons, and shall suffer death as in case of felony, without benefit of clergy.

V. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That if after the said last day of July one thousand seven hundred and fifteen, any such church or chapel, or any such building for religious worship, or any such dwelling-house, barn, stable, or other out-house, shall be demolished or pulled down wholly, or in part, by any persons so unlawfully, riotously and tumultuously assembled, that then, in case such church, chapel, building for religious worship, dwelling-house, barn, stable, or out-house, shall be out of any city or town, that is either a county of itself, or is not within any hundred, that then the inhabitants of the hundred in which such damage shall be done, shall be liable to yield damages to the person or persons injured and damnified by such demolishing or pulling down wholly or in part; and such damages shall and may be recovered by action to be brought in any of his Majesty’s courts of record at Westminster, (wherein no effoin, protection or wager of law, or any imparlance shall be allowed) by the person or persons damnified thereby, against any two or more of the inhabitants of such hundred, such action for damages to any church or chapel to be brought in the name of the rector, vicar or curate of such church or chapel that shall be so damnified, in trust for applying the damages to be recovered in rebuilding or repairing such church or chapel; and that judgment being given for the plaintiff or plaintiffs in such action, the damages so to be recovered shall, at the request of such plaintiff or plaintiffs, his or their executors or administrators, be raised and levied on the inhabitants of such hundred, and paid to such plaintiff or plaintiffs, in such manner and form, and by such ways and means, as are provided by the statute made in the seven and twentieth year of the reign of Queen Elizabeth, for reimbursing the person or persons on whom any money recovered against any hundred by any party robbed, shall be levied: and in case any such church, chapel, building for religious worship, dwelling-house, barn, stable, or out-house so damnified, shall be in any city or town that is either a county of itself, or is not within any hundred, that then such damages shall and may be recovered by action to be brought in manner aforesaid (where no effoin, protection or wager of law, or any imparlance shall be allowed) against two or more inhabitants of such city or town; and judgment being given for the plaintiff or plaintiffs in such action, the damages so to be recovered shall, at the request of such plaintiff or plaintiffs, his or their executors or administrators, made to the justices of the peace of such city or town at any quarter-sessions to be holden for the said city or town, be raised and levied on the inhabitants of such city or town, and paid to such plaintiff or plaintiffs, in such manner and form, and by such ways and means, as are provided by the said statute made in the seven and twentieth year of the reign of Queen Elizabeth, for reimbursing the person or persons on whom any money recovered against any hundred by any party robbed, shall be levied.

VI. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That this act shall be openly read at every quarter-session, and at every leet or law-day.
Provided always, That no person or persons shall be prosecuted by virtue of this act, for any offence or offences committed contrary to the same, unless such prosecution be commenced within twelve months after the offence committed.
And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, That the sheriffs and their deputies, stewards and their deputies, bailies of regalities and their deputies, magistrates of royal boroughs, and all other inferior judges and magistrates, and also all high and petty constables, or other peace-officers of any county, stewartry, city or town, within that part of Great Britain called Scotland, shall have the same powers and authority for putting this present act in execution within Scotland, as the justices of the peace and other magistrates aforesaid, respectively have by virtue of this act, within and for the other parts of this kingdom; and that all and every person and persons who shall at any time be convicted of any the offences aforementioned, within that part of Great Britain called Scotland, shall for every such offence incur and suffer the pain of death, and confiscation of moveables: and also that all prosecutions for repairing the damages of any church or chapel, or any building for religious worship, or any dwelling-house, barn, stable or out-house, which shall be demolished or pulled down in whole or in part, within Scotland, by any persons unlawfully, riotously or tumultuously assembled, shall and may be recovered by summar action, at the instance of the party aggrieved, his or her heirs or executors, against the county, stewartry, city or borough respectively, where such disorders shall happen, the magistrates being summoned in the ordinary form, and the several counties and stewartries called by edictal citation at the market-cross of the head borough of such county or stewartry respectively, and that in general, without mentioning their names and designations.

Provided, and it is hereby declared, That this act shall extend to all places for religious worship, in that part of Great Britain called Scotland, which are tolerated by law, and where his majesty King George, the prince and princess of Wales, and their issue, are prayed for in express words.

Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that the part breaks are all correct, but the text is there for you.

Now you have read the Riot Act. Feel free to read it to others as you will.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to thank all those who have served our Republic, and are serving our Republic for the portion of their life they dedicated to preserving our civilzation and way of life. He also remembers the sacrafices made by those who died in their service to our nation.

Many thanks to you all.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been up to his eyeballs in various things he’s had to do. Alas, that leaves you, his loyal reader, hoping that Smallholder posts something so that you aren’t subjected to the old post you read yesterday still hogging the top line of the content section.

Since your Maximum Leader hasn’t had time for much original content. So here is a fun little link for you…

Try this on for a line: It was very much like Dad telling his teenage son he doesn’t get a vote on where the family goes for vacation, and the son goes off and sulks for eight years when the fam doesn’t go to Cancun or wherever Brooke Burke went on Wild On; and instead goes someplace sensible and boring like Disney World.

Ah… Brooke Burke… She is not as dreamy as Jennifer Love Hewitt… But not that bad…

Should your Maximum Leader mention that you will not guess the full context of the link just from that line? Has he now already mentioned it? Humm…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, if he was made of money — which sadly he is not — would fly to London this December to try and score for himself a Winston Churchill painting. According to the news wire services, Margaret Truman is going to sell at auction a painted rendered by Churchill and given as a gift to President Truman. The auction will occur on December 13.

The painting is of Marrakesh and the Atlas mountains in North Africa. If your Maximum Leader is correct, this particular painting was completed during the war while Churchill was conferring with Allied leaders (including FDR) in North Africa. Your Maximum Leader is a little too lazy to check into his many books on Churchill (including two on Churchill as a painter) to confirm this.

This little piece of history would be a great Christmas present.

(Hint hint)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was going to write a post commemorating today as the anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt.

But while examining other interesting things on Wikipedia he discovered that Geoffery Chaucer died this day back in 1400. Alas, other than mentioning this fact, your Maximum Leader has very little to add to this mention of Chaucer. Sadly, your Maximum Leader was never much of a Chaucer fan, and had difficulty plowing through “The Canterbury Tales.”

For those of you more curious today than your Maximum Leader… Here is the Wiki page for events that occured on October 25th.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is commemorating the 202nd anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar today. It is his habit to do so. He needs to get back in the habit of throwing a big party every year to celebrate this glorious event. It was his habit (until children arrived in his life) to buy a keg of Bass Ale, cook a huge roast with all the trimmings, and drink to Lord Nelson’s victory on this day. Perhaps he’ll do it next year…

Rather than just post a synopsis (which you can read here or here) of the battle, here are some images for your viewing pleasure:

Clicky here to embiggen.

Clicky here to see a bigger, nicer, image.

Carry on.

Steve-O the Llama Butcher just made me guffaw:

“What would William Seward do?”

Of course, I always call him William Henry Seward. In fact, the eldest male wee Smallholder is named Jack William Henry Smallholder.

Besides wanting to paint the map British American Red from Cairo Hudson Bay to Capetown Tierra Del Fuego, he was an abolitionist who was considered too radical to get the 1860 nomination. He became one of America’s greatest Secretaries of State and played a key role in putting down the secessionist slavocracy sedition.

Steve-O linked to a Christian Science Monitor article describing a nascent independence movement in Greenland. I was particularly amused by one of the local idiots opposed to independence:

“Aqqaluk Lynge, head of the Inuit Circumpolar Council’s Greenland chapter, agrees. “We are afraid that the United States will take over Greenland if the Danes get out,” he says. “If Americans can take Iraq, then why not Greenland?”

Indeed, sources say that even if Greenland becomes independent – an event supporters see as at least a decade away – it will keep very close ties to Denmark, in large part out of fears of US hegemony. “

Meanwhile, in the secret underground lair, Darth Cheney’s mad Machiavellian machinations continue:

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Greenland will be hours. We will feast on the entrails of the Inuit!”

“But sir,” stammers the stunted minion, “Greenland is constitutionally linked to Denmark! An attach on Greenland will trigger a Danish counterattack!”

“Bah! Foiled again!” Wailed the Vice President/Prince of Darkness, “If it weren’t for the invincible Danish army, we would rule the world. But we’d best bide our time for now. Eventually, those omnipotent Danes will make a mistake. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!”

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, back in June of this year, wrote a little piece about the Vermont secession movement. (You may read it here. The Smallholder wrote a short piece on the subject here. And then there was the very popular Maximum Leader in uniform post.) Well… If your Maximum Leader is bringing it up that must mean that it is in the news again…

Secessionists meet in Tennessee. Let us cite the first few paragraphs from the piece:

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. - In an unlikely marriage of desire to secede from the United States, two advocacy groups from opposite political traditions — New England and the South — are sitting down to talk.

Tired of foreign wars and what they consider right-wing courts, the Middlebury Institute wants liberal states like Vermont to be able to secede peacefully.

That sounds just fine to the League of the South, a conservative group that refuses to give up on Southern independence.

“We believe that an independent South, or Hawaii, Alaska, or Vermont would be better able to serve the interest of everybody, regardless of race or ethnicity,” said Michael Hill of Killen, Ala., president of the League of the South.

Separated by hundreds of miles and divergent political philosophies, the Middlebury Institute and the League of the South are hosting a two-day Secessionist Convention starting Wednesday in Chattanooga.

They expect to attract supporters from California, Alaska and Hawaii, inviting anyone who wants to dissolve the Union so states can save themselves from an overbearing federal government.

If allowed to go their own way, New Englanders “probably would allow abortion and have gun control,” Hill said, while Southerners “would probably crack down on illegal immigration harder than it is being now.”

The U.S. Constitution does not explicitly prohibit secession, but few people think it is politically viable.

Gadzooks! One would think that secessionists would meet somewhere not “touched” by the history of secession. Perhaps in Michigan, or Montana, or Idaho. Hell… Windsor, Ontario would be a more likely place, it seems to your Maximum Leader, than Chattanoga, TN. You might as well meet in Vicksburg or Atlanta (or Gettysburg).

These secessionist nutjobs just don’t get it. The Civil War pretty much decisively closed the book on leaving the United States. It just can’t be done. There is a reason that the official history of the Civil War written by the government was called the “History of the War of the Rebellion.”

Indeed, your Maximum Leader thinks that it is this simple fact (ie: once in you can never get out) that keeps places like Puerto Rico, Guam, and the US Virgin Islands from clamoring harder for statehood. Those protectorates and territories are a fickle bunch. Today they want representation in Congress, tomorrow they just want the benefits of being “in” the United States without all the responsibility. They are quite childish in their ways. They just haven’t decided what they want to be when they grow up. Indeed, if Vermont were to leave the Union (and we were to let them - however unlikely that would be); then we would have to force Puerto Rico to become a state. We would have to explain this move to the Puerto Ricans in baseball terms (”Think of it as a call up to the big leagues!”) After all, we just can’t go back to fewer than 100 Senators, 435 Representatives, and 50 stars on the flag. (By gum they aren’t going to get your Maximum Leader to buy a 49 star flag…)

Anyhoo… These secessionist nuts sure are getting lots of press. And by lots of press your Maximum Leader means any press at all. These people ought to be relegated to the back pages of the small-town fishwrap. Right under the story about how the local “cat lady” is going to closely watched this Halloween to avoid any unfortunate incidents like last year’s. Alas, they are not. The AP is picking up the story and running with it. It must be a slow news day…

At least now the secessionists in Vermont are teaming up with the secessionists in the South. Woo hoo! What a winning combo that must be! One wonders if they immediately took issues other than secession off the table. After all, the Vermonsters want to make their land safe for civil unions, gun control and dairy products; the Southerners likely want to make their lands safe for… Well… Does your Maximum Leader have to spell it out?

These people must have a lot of time on their hands. Really now, your Maximum Leader spends his free time plotting to create the Mike World Order out of the ruins of civilization. That takes time and mind-power. These people seem all together more simple-minded. The extent of their thinking is “I don’t like you anymore. I want to take my bowl and go home. Harumph!” Any 3 year old can do that.

Allow your Maximum Leader to state for the record (again) that he will raise volunteers (or pay the people at Blackwater) to keep Vermont in the Union by force. If he later has to mess with Texas or Tennessee he will. He will not like having to do it, but it must be done. (Okay… Your Maximum Leader might enjoy invading Vermont. He doesn’t think he’d enjoy invading Texas or Tennessee as much.)

If you would like to serve in a volunteer regiment (commanded by your Maximum Leader) when the forray of force is required in Vermont, let him know. Please know in advance that your Maximum Leader likes to campaign from March to September, baggage trains for officers will be kept to 2 wagons and 4 native attendants (please send him an e-mail to request a price list for commissions), pillaging is restricted to 4 hours after the capitulation of an undefended town and 8 hours after the conquest of a defended town (towns that arrange their surrender in advance will have terms negotiated before the surrender is accepted), and officers are required to bring formal attire for your Maximum Leader’s Friday night levees. Oh yes… One more item… Your Maximum Leader is looking for a dashing cavalry commander to play Uxbridge/Anglesey to his Wellington.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader apologizes for posting nothing yesterday. He is going to have to re-evaluate his posting habits. The Villainette’s are doing more both after and before school; and your Maximum Leader is actually a contributing member of society with other responsibilities. Perhaps he should banish this idea he has of writing something for the blog most every weekday… He’ll think about it.

Of course, if one is going to blog, one should have something to blog about. Alas, he didn’t have much to say yesterday. Your Maximum Leader did miss the anniversary of the Battle of Stamford Bridge. That was yesterday. Your Maximum Leader should save his blogging thunder for the impending anniversary of the Battle of Hastings, which is happening on October 14th.

Your Maximum Leader has been thinking a lot about sports. He’s been rooting on the Nationals against the Mets. If you can’t be a winner in the Division, you can at least be a spoiler. It isn’t quite as sweet a role to play, but it is better than being the Marlins.

He’s also been thinking about Football. He’s all excited about the Packers, but he is waiting for the other shoe to drop. The Pack are off to a great start, but he wonders if the teams they have beaten have been coasting on reputation from last year. Your Maximum Leader has also been thinking about the San Diego Chargers. He thought that the Chargers would be a great team this year. He was confident that they could make it far into the playoffs. Alas, it is not to be. Your Maximum Leader wonders if they will win 8 games this year. Your Maximum Leader is putting the blame for San Diego’s bad start firmly at the feet of Norv Turner. Turner knows offensive schemes. Turner knows quarterbacks. He doesn’t do well as a head coach. It was a bad move to fire Marty Schotenheimer.

And in other news… Whew! That was short… Apparently the UAW and GM have reached a tenative agreement to get everyone (in the UAW at least) back to work.

Carrry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure how he is going to go about celebrating Constitution Day. What? You didn’t know it was Constitution Day? Well, September 17th is that illustrious day. The anniversary of the signing of that glorious document that frames the institutions of the American Republic.

Of course, if you didn’t know today was Constitution Day, you either forgot (which is likely for most of you — your Maximum Leader has a very educated readership) or you are a teenager who found this site while surfing for porn.

Well… Your Maximum Leader will celebrate this Constitution Day in the following fashion… He’ll grill some burgers, drink a beer or two, and watch Monday Night Football in High Definition. Because if the Framers could have done so, that is how they would have celebrated… (Okay… Maybe only Ben Franklin would have celebrated in the same fashion… But Ben Franklin was a great man…)

Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap in honour of the Framer’s work this day.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, like many others, remembers what this day was like six years ago. It was a bright and clear day. Your Maximum Leader wished he was playing hooky in fact. He remembers the sun reflected in the rippling waters of the Lynnhaven River. He remembers the President of his company calling and asking if yours truly had the training room TV, a plane had just hit the World Trade Center and he wanted to see what was happening. Then he remembers a co-worker coming in to his office and saying another plane had hit the other World Trade Center tower. A few minutes later the phone calls started. Husbands were calling wives. Navy husbands were calling their wives. The conversations all were about the same. “You’ve got to come home and watch the kids. My ship is leaving Norfolk now. No, not later, RIGHT NOW.” Your Maximum Leader was on his cell phone talking to the Air Marshal (who was in Crystal City - near the Pentagon). Our conversation ended abruptly when the Air Marshal announced that there was an explosion at the Pentagon and he had to go. Your Maximum Leader remembers 100 people standing in a room with space enough for 30 watching a small color tv as the Towers fell. He remembers Peter Jennings reporting that Palistinians were dancing in the streets of Gaza. (He also remembers Peter Fucking Jennings making some glib comment about how he could understand why the Palistinians were happy. That was the last time your Maximum Leader ever watched that man.) He remembers wondering what the count of the dead would be. 10,000? 15,000? He remembers seeing images of the fleet leaving Hampton Roads for the open sea. He also remembers wanting revenge.

Your Maximum Leader’s anger has subsided somewhat but there is still passion there. What happened before can happen again. We must be vigilant. We must be strong. We must remember.

Carry on.