Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the President has (finally) released an original copy of the “long form” of his birth certificate.
Gawd this has gone on forever. Your Maximum Leader is willing to distribute “blame” for the whole “birther” controversy in the following shares: 55% to the Birthers themselves for being dense, suspicious and ultimately unserious; 40% to the President and his team for just now getting around to this “issue”; and 5% to Donald Trump for being a complete media manipulating bastard for talking up this point to bolster himself (which, frankly, is all Donald Trump ever does).
Your Maximum Leader (if you couldn’t tell already) is not a “birther.” Indeed, he’s been alternately mildly amused to mildly disgusted by this sideshow of an issue for years. But his mild bemusment came to a head at a dinner he attended last week. Your Maximum Leader is a member of a social club of good gentlemen in the community. We meet quarterly for dinner and drinks and have other neat social events throughout the year (culminating in a huge black-tie dinner and dance).
At dinner your Maximum Leader sat with some of his friends for dinner and eventually the conversation turned to politics. It was then that your Maximum Leader discovered that two of his friends were “birthers.” Your Maximum Leader sat by and listened for a while before he couldn’t stand to sit by and let this mindlessness continue. Your Maximum Leader stood up for the President being born in the United States. He eventually had to tell these gentlemen that they were being at the best unserious commentators on politics in general and at the worst they were being willing dupes and spreading lies that were easily disproved.
Let it suffice to say that the dinner conversation went downhill from there… In the end your Maximum Leader came off as the “liberal bleeding heart” at the table. The rationale for this label was found in the fact that in one dinner your Maximum Leader: stood up for the President being an American, maintained that the police should not be given the authority to shoot on sight drug dealers whom they suspect of also being illegal immigrants, argued that no elected official in Washington DC of any party is being serious about how to address the nation’s debt, and finally claiming that the Obama Administration’s stimulus bill was not unconstitutional.
Your Maximum Leader wonders if his standing in the club will ever be the same…
As much as your Maximum Leader thinks this latest press conference and release of the President’s birth certificate should end the whole “birther” escapade; he fears it will just give rise to more and more complicated conspiracy theories concerning the President’s place of birth…
I weep for the future.