Madness? Classless? Genius?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader may only have time for quicky blog entires today. From SondraK we have notice of , this recently ended eBay auction. It seems as though you could have bid to advertise on this bonnie Scttish lass’ sized 42GG cleavage.

(Excursus: For female minions. Is GG really a cup size? Your Maximum Leader is familar with cleavage. And he is familar with rather large bosoms. But he’s never heard of a GG size. They certainly look large, but without a frame of reference….)

Of course, one has to admire the lass’ ingenuity. She just got herself £422 (around $780.00) for 15 days of temporary tattooing. Not a bad deal at all.

Carry on.

Notice

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader figured he’d tell you all not to expect much posting from him in the next few days. His glorious supercomputer is on the fritz. It seems as though something has become corrupt in the OS. It is so bad that your Maximum Leader was on the phone with Microsoft for 5 hours yesterday. They are stumped. (Well, honestly the good techs at their Nova Scotia call center are stumped. Thanks Tommy - your Maximum Leader knows you tried your best. Thanks your friends too.) We did everything you can imagine. We even reinstalled the whole operating system. About the only thing we didn’t do was reformat the hard drive and rebuild all the s/w from scratch. (Which your Maximum Leader imagines will be the next step.)

Indeed, the call center is so stumped that they are having someone big-wig developer from HQ in Seattle call your Maximum Leader next.

So, your Maximum Leader is going to be taking a little hiatus from blogging, and e-mail, for the next few days. He will do his best to respond to any e-mail you send as he is able.

Carry on.

Congratulations Brian!

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes Brian over at Memento Moron a hearty congratulations. (And sends a virtual backslap.) Go on over to his blog and wish him (and his lovely wife - and handsome son) the best.

Carry on.

Couture Listing.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decides to post an article that might be more a propos of some other site. But hell… It’s his blog afterall.

It seems that it is front page (of the online edition) news at the Washington Post when Dick Cheney underdresses at Auschwitz.

Now, your Maximum Leader does agree that the knit cap might be a little out of place. But the guy is bald. And he needs to keep his head warm. And yes we know he went hatless at the Inauguration. But weren’t there heaters on that platform? (Your Maximum Leader thought there were.)

Regardless, it seems a bit much to go after the guy for a olive parka and boots. The writer of the article, Robin Givhan, said that the symbolism of the occasion called for Cheney to be dressed more like Vladimir Putin or Jacques Chirac.

Perhaps Dick Cheney was making another symbolic statement. By wearing the lace-up boots and an olive parka he looked more like the GIs of WWII who liberated Europe and saved the Jews in the camps.*

Carry on.

*- Your Maximum Leader knows that Auschwitz was liberated by Russians not Americans. But Americans liberated many other camps.

Scarecrow Lyrics

John Mellencamp*

Scarecrow on a wooden cross Blackbird in the barn
Four hundred empty acres that used to be my farm
I grew up like my daddy did My grandpa cleared this land
When I was five I walked the fence while grandpa held my hand
Rain on the scarecrow Blood on the plow
This land fed a nation This land made me proud
And Son I’m just sorry there’s no legacy for you now

Rain on the scarecrow Blood on the plow
Rain on the scarecrow Blood on the plow

The crops we grew last summer weren’t enough to pay the loans
Couldn’t buy the seed to plant this spring and theFarmers Bank foreclosed
Called my old friend Schepman up to auction off the land
He said John it’s just my job and I hope you understand
Hey calling it your job ol’ hoss sure don’t make it right
But if you want me to I’ll say a prayer for your soul tonight
And grandma’s on the front porch swing with a Bible in her hand
Sometimes I hear her singing “Take me to the Promised Land”
When you take away a man’s dignity he can’tWork his fields and cows

There’ll be blood on the scarecrow Blood on the plow
Blood on the scarecrow Blood on the plow

Well there’s ninety-seven crosses planted in the courthouse yard
Ninety-seven families who lost ninety-seven farms
I think about my grandpa and my neighbors and my name
And some nights I feel like dyin’ Like that scarecrow in the rain

Rain on the scarecrow Blood on the plow
This land fed a nation This land made me proud
And Son I’m just sorry they’re just memories for you now

* - Or John Cougar Mellonhead as your Maximum Leader likes to call him. - Max. Ldr.

Meme for Sadie

I don’t normally do these things, but I fear that unless I comply with sweet lass from Oklahoma’s request, Skippy may supplant me as the subject of her lovesick poetry.

1. How many music files do you have on your computer?

None. What is this, a legal fishing expedition by Sony’s lawyers?

2. Last CD you bought:

I honestly can’t remember. I suppose I bought a Lonestar CD for my wife for Christmas in 2003. I received several for Christmas from family.

3. What is the last song you listened to before this message?

AC/DC “You Shook Me All Night Long”

4. Five songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you?

Lonestar’s “Front Porch Looking In” and Tim McGraw’s “Where the Green Grass Grows” are the official theme songs of Sweet Seasons Farm.

Dave Matthews’ “Ants go Marching” - My requiem for suburban living.

Bare Naked Ladies’ “Brian Wilson Song” - Love the instrumental part.

John Cougar Mellancamp’s “Rain on the Scarecrow” - It was popular when my family lost the farm back in the Eighties. Still makes me mist up.

Um, I can’t really think of anything else. I guess back in high school The Fine Young Cannibals’ “Good Thing” got me through a rough breakup.

The Real Problem With Buster

The real problem with Buster is not that is peripherally portrayed the lesbian parents of a maple syrup-making kid. After all, being raised hellbound homosexual hags doesn’t doom said hags’ children to hell; children raised by homosexuals are no more likely to be homosexuals than children raised by God-fearin’ heterosexuals.

The real danger to children is being raised by Jews and Muslims (And Buddhists and atheists and Zoarastrians - oh my!). Unfortunately, the devilish nature of heretical parents seems to be transmitted quite well to their progeny. Children raised in false religions are remarkably resistant to proseltization of America’s true religion.

So PBS ought to cancel all the Buster shows in which preschoolers might be exposed to (and - God forbid - become tolerant of!) false religions. We should especially try to ban the shows exploring Pagan Native American culture and shows that show Muslims as anything other than terorrists on a fast track to eternal suffering.

Praise Jesus that Evangelicals running the show now and can take a stand against this evil liberal tolerance of individual differences and freedoms.

Christians Who Miss The Point

From the Washington Post

PBS’s ‘Buster’ Gets An Education
By Lisa de MoraesThursday, January 27, 2005; Page C01

PBS was surprised to receive a letter from new Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, warning the public TV network against airing an upcoming episode of the kids show “Postcards From Buster,” because PBS had already informed her office it would not send the episode to its stations, programming co-chief John Wilson says.
“We made the decision . . . [Tuesday] afternoon, a couple of hours before we received the letter from the secretary of education,” Wilson told The TV Column yesterday.
“It came at the end of many days, maybe even a few weeks, of looking at rough cuts of the program and deliberating.”
Spellings, who has been charged with the difficult task of fixing the nation’s troubled public education system, took time out on her second day on the job to fire off a letter to PBS CEO Pat Mitchell expressing “strong and very serious concerns” about the “Postcards From Buster” episode. Specifically that, in the episode, called “Sugartime!,” the animated asthmatic little bunny visits Vermont and meets actual, real-live, not make-believe children there who have gay parents.
For those of you unfamiliar with the spinoff of the popular children’s series “Arthur,” which combines animation and live action, each week, 8-year-old animated Buster and his animated dad travel to another locale, where Buster, armed with his video camera, meets actual, non-animated people, who introduce him to the local scene — clogging in Whitesurg, Ky.; rodeo barrel racing in Houston; monoskiing in Park City, Utah; doing the Arapaho Grass Dance at the Wind River Reservation in Wyoming. Additionally, Buster meets a family from a different cultural background.
In the episode that knotted Spellings’s knickers, Buster goes to Vermont and meets children from two families, who show him how maple syrup and cheese are made.
At one of the homes, Buster is introduced to all of the children and to the two moms. One girl explains that one of the women is her “stepmom,” whom she says she loves a lot.
One of the women asks the kids to get some maple syrup and some cheese for dinner, and to stop by the other home to borrow a big lasagna pan. In the other home, Buster is introduced to the whole family, including two more moms. Then the kids head off to get the ingredients, and Buster learns where syrup and cheese come from.
In her letter, Spellings reminded Mitchell that the show is being funded in part by the Education Department and that a principal focus of the law authorizing such “Ready-to-Learn” programming is “facilitating student academic achievement.”
In the conference committee report for fiscal year 2005 appropriations, Spellings continues, Congress reiterated that the unique mission of Ready-to-Learn is: “to use the television medium to help prepare preschool age children for school. The television programs that must fulfill this mission are to be specifically designed for this purpose, with the highest attention to production quality and validity of research-based educational objectives, content and materials.”
“You should also know,” Spellings says, “that two years ago the Senate Appropriations Committee raised questions about the accountability of funds appropriated for Ready-To-Learn programs.” A bit ominous, we think.
“We believe the ‘Sugartime!’ episode does not come within these purposes or within the intent of Congress and would undermine the overall objective of the Ready-To-Learn program — to produce programming that reaches as many children and families as possible,” Spellings wrote.
Why, you might wonder, given that preschoolers who watch the episode learn how maple syrup and cheese are made, not to mention useful English-language phrases (the series is also designed to help children for whom English is a second language).
Because, Spellings explained in her letter, “many parents would not want their young children exposed to the life-styles portrayed in this episode.” She did not say how many is “many,” or cite a source for that information.
Congress’s point in funding this programming “certainly was not to introduce this kind of subject matter to children,” she added.
Au contraire, says WGBH, which produces “Postcards.” The Boston public TV station says it will air the episode and has offered it to any station willing to defy the Education Department, which, in fairness, did shovel out major bucks for this series and, therefore, understandably feels it has the right to get in its two conservative cents’ worth.
According to Brigid Sullivan, WGBH’s vice president of children’s programming, the RFP — that’s government-speak for request for proposals — on the show said Ready-to-Learn was looking for a program that would “appeal to all of America’s children by providing them with content and or characters with which they can identify. Diversity will be incorporated into the fabric of the series to help children understand and respect differences and learn to live in a multicultural society. The series will avoid stereotypical images of all kinds and show modern multi-ethnic/lingual/cultural families and children.”
Except, it would seem, children who have two mothers.
“We have produced 40 episodes,” Sullivan said. “We have tried to reach across as many cultures, as many religions, as many family structures as we can. We gave it our best-faith effort. We have received hate mail for doing [an episode] about a Muslim girl. We’ve also received mail from Muslims saying thank you.”
Buster, Sullivan said, has visited “Mormons in Utah, the Hmong in Wisconsin the Gullah culture in South Carolina, Orthodox Jewish families, a Pentecostal Christian family — we are trying to do a broad reach and we are trying to do it without judgment.”
According to Sullivan, the “Buster” brouhaha started in December when, during a routine meeting of representatives from WGBH, PBS and the Education Department to discuss upcoming episodes, a WGBH rep mentioned that there might be some “buzz” on “Sugartime!” PBS insists that although it made its decision not to distribute the episode on the very same day that the newly appointed Spellings decided to fire off her letter, the decision had nothing to do with the kerfuffle brewing at Education over the episode.
Which, we’ve said before in similar situations, sounds great if you were born yesterday; otherwise, not so much.
“Ultimately we came to the conclusion that what was meant to be the background or backdrop of two families that happened to be headed by two mothers continued to find its way into the foreground,” Wilson said.
“It’s too sensitive to raise in a children’s program,” he added. “We know we have a number of kids . . . who don’t have a parent or caregiver in with them watching to put it in context. At the end of the day what was meant to be a sort of background context of who this family is and who the parents are, overshadowed what the episode was really about, which was going to this part of America and learning about things that are uniquely Vermont.
“Yesterday afternoon we literally decided that it was an issue best left for parents and children to address together at a time and manner of their own choosing.”
We asked all parties involved what they would say to the children who were filmed for this episode, and who expected to be seen on national TV and are now being told by the federal government that their families are not fit for other children to see on national TV — at least not on any show that has received federal funding.
“That’s a difficult question,” Sullivan responded. “I guess I’d have to say from the producers’ standing . . . it was our intention to include, not to exclude, anyone who is part of our society, and that for children to see a reflection of themselves on TV is an important part of their development.”
“I’ve been thinking about that today,” Wilson said. “Honestly, I feel for these families because they’re real people, not actors cast and paid to do this, and I do feel bad that through no fault of their own and ultimately no fault of the producers they have been put in a situation they never imagined themselves in. To that end, I’m sorry for that.”
An Education Department spokeswoman responded in a statement: “The episode is inappropriate for preschoolers. We are funding an education program for preschoolers, and one would be hard-pressed to explain how this serves as educational material for preschoolers. It’s up to parents to decide for their children, not the government in a taxpayer-funded video for preschoolers.”
We asked her to clarify what it was the department felt should be left to parents. She explained: “To decide when they want their kids to know about the lifestyles depicted in the film.”

They’re Desperate.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just laughed and laughed when he read Jeff’s DESPERATE LIBERALS. It took your Maximum Leader a moment to fully appreciate (since he doesn’t watch the show). But it is funny.

And by the way, doesn’t Jeff’s new site look good? Yes. Yes it does.

Carry on.

Arnie Remarries.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that 75 years young Arnie Palmer has remarried in Hawaii. He says he feels “like a 25-year-old.”

Your Maximum Leader attributes the feeling to Viagra or Cialis or something. And he hopes that Arnie’s new wife (who’s age goes unmentioned in the linked article) is about 25 years old.

If your Maximum Leader should outlive Mrs Villain (which he thinks is unlikely) he would want to try and marry some lass 1/3rd his age. Of course he would do this out of a death-wish. Hoping to “work” himself to death.

Congrats Arnie. You are still your Maximum Leader’s favourite golfer.

Carry on.

Updated Politics

Some Maximum Leaders alo die at the hand of lunatic lieutenants driven to homicidal rage by the use of apostrophes to make words plural. Said ministers may be punks whose own grammar is quite atrocious, but still harbor hypocritical horror for the misuse of apostrophes.

I’m just sayin’.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Problem fixed. Typo caused by merging two sentances together when in draft. And as an aside, it is always good to see people being honest about their own hypocritical horrors.

Politics

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been rather quiet on political issues of late. This is more a factor of it being a slow time of the year for political issues than disinterest. Your Maximum Leader just hasn’t felt passionately enough about any political goings-on to feel he needed to comment on them at length.

He does plan on writing a political polemic over the weekend, it should be up for Monday.

Here are some quick thoughts on politics.

Your Maximum Leader applauds Teddy Kennedy for coming right out and saying what Democrats have, hithertofore, been too afraid to say. Namely that the US should cut and run in Iraq. While it is possible that the soon-to-be elected Iraqi national assembly will ask the US to leave, your Maximum Leader doesn’t think it will happen for another year or so. The sensible Iraqis, who don’t get lots of press, but are likely the largest portion of the Shia and Kurdish population, don’t seem to be in a great rush to see the US leave. The realize that they are in a precarious situation. Namely, surrounded by other states that would like to see Iraq disappear; and filled with insurgents from the whole muslim world. They need time to develop their own national security forces (army and police) and gain full control over the Sunni Triangle.

It doesn’t cease to amaze your Maximum Leader that people (around the world) are shocked that the US hasn’t been able to completely rebuild Iraq. Nevermind that Saddam fought a 10 years long war with Iran that started his nation dow the path of industrial and economic decline. Then came the invasion of Kuwait. Then the 12 years of embargo by most of the world. Then the US liberation. In three years, with an insurgency going, the US should have been able (so the masses think at any rate) to rebuild a country that was in decline for over 20 years? How unrealistic is that. What the US has done is given the Iraqis a chance to rebuild and reconstitute themselves. We’ve given them the possibility for a better future.

President Bush seems closer to making a Social Security Reform proposal. Now, your Maximum Leader hasn’t said it before, but he believes that Medicare, Medicaid, and the new Prescription Drug benefits are much greater problems than is Social Security. But that doesn’t mean that Social Security shouldn’t be addressed. Americans do not save enough, and they have come to rely on a wealth-transfer program to take them through their twilight years. Any reform of Social Security that promotes more indivdual savings and more individual responsibility for saving is a good plan in your Maximum Leader’s opinion. Indeed, your Maximum Leader has always been particularly pessimistic concerning his own future with Social Security. He’s assumed he would have little or no benefits in his twilight. This was a major motivating factor for forming the Mike World Order. You gotta have a plan. And everyone knows that Maximum Leaders don’t retire. They die suddenly from undisclosed causes after “having a bad head cold” for a few weeks. Then the state-run TV stations play the dirges and mournful remembrances for days; making you long for the funeral to end so you can get back to Jerry Springer, Oprah, and reality TV.

Condi Rice is now Secretary of State. Your Maximum Leader thought her confirmation hearings, and subsequent Senate floor debates, were disgraceful. But he says this as a conservative partisan. He completely understands why Boxer, Kerry, and others did what they did. And he doesn’t believe for a moment that the 13 Democrats who voted against Dr. Rice did anything but act according to their own consciences. But they were wrong. Condi Rice, your Maximum Leader believes will do very well in her new role. He also thinks that if she were a Democrat she would be lauded as a symbol of America. Look! A smart black woman is our number one diplomat. Look at her deal with the Saudis, the French. See how uncomfortable they are with the future! But because she is a Republican - she is a liar and in the pocket of the president and incabable of independent thought. Your Maximum Leader didn’t recall that the Democratic Senators wanted Warren Christopher or Madeline Albright to be independent of President Clinton. They didn’t want Christopher or Albright to lead a separate foreign policy from Foggy Bottom with no input from the White House. Humm… It must be that partisan stuff again. You know, parade the flag, waive the bloody shirt. It is all for appearances you know.

And in other non-political news… Another idiot is tattooing himself for cash. Listen, as far as your Maximum Leader is concerned, the only advertising on body parts your Maximum Leader wants to see are blog-ads on SondraK’s exquisite arse. (Which,by the way, never, EVER, fails to captivate your Maximum Leader. If there is a Platonic form of arse-ness - it may be manifest in SondraK’s arse.)

Carry on.

Another Sign of the Decline of Western Civilization.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader felt he must note yet another sign of the impending doom facing our civilization. The sign occured this morning on the “Today” show. They did two pieces which are clear portents of evil things to come. The first was a story on the book “He Just Not That Into You.” The angle of the story was how this bestselling book is causing dating problems for men. Your Maximum Leader’s take is that this book is causing dating problems for men who are dating neurotic women with no self-confidence and little self-esteem.

The second story was on MILFs. Yes, MILFS. (For those of you who don’t know, and your Maximum Leader can’t imagine there are many of you in this category; MILF stands for “Mom I’d Like to F**k.”) They didn’t use the term MILF exactly. But they had a whole piece on how Moms are sexier than ever. What? Do we really need to hear this early in the morning?

Great Jeezey Chreesey. How much longer could we possibly have?

Carry on.

Save the Cutty Sark

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, the great Anglophile that he is, was intersted to read an article describing how British lottery money is being used to save the Cutty Sark, from slow dry rot. Your Maximum Leader remembers visiting the Cutty Sark on his first visit to Britain in 1985. (He idn’t visit the Cutty Sark on subsequent visits.) He is happy to learn that this iconic vessel will be preserved, and with it part of Britain’s, and the worlds, maritime heritage.

The Cutty Sark is a beautiful ship. She is the paramount example of clipper ship naval architecture. She is graceful, sleek, and fast. She conjures up for your Maximum Leader adventure on the high seas and the 19th Century tea trade. And her famous races with the “Thermopalae” from China and India.

Then again, the ship also conjures up scotch whisky. Cutty Sark was your Maximum Leader’s sainted father’s scotch for years. Until your Maximum Leader started buying him better scotch.

Carry on.

LA Train Crash

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t have much to say about the LA commuter train crash yesterday. His heart goes out to the families of the victims.

He reads that the man who left his SUV on the tracks will be charged with murder. As he should be.

Your Maximum Leader is quite upset with Juan Manuel Alvarez. If you are going to kill yourself just get a gun and eat a fucking bullet. Or jump off a cliff into the sea. If you are going to kill yourself do it in a way that will not harm others, and will ruin your body in a way that precludes an open casket funeral. No one would want to look at a cowardly shell of a man who chose to kill himself rather than face life’s challenges.

Your Maximum Leader hopes that (if the case is proved) Alvarez is executed.

Carry on.

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