Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is always out there looking for the interesting news story to share with you all. In the category of “man bites dog” there is this headline from the Reuters news wire: Whale kills would be rescuer.

Apparently a “stray” Sperm Whale capsized a small fishing boat and one of the fishermen was drowned. Two other fishermen were rescued.

Now, your Maximum Leader doesn’t want to make fun of a poor fisherman’s death. Indeed, he has great respect for those who make their living on the sea. But really, wasn’t Moby Dick a Sperm Whale? Don’t we know by now that Sperm Whales have a taste for human blood? Aren’t old japanese fishermen really just sushi for Sperm Whales?

Lesson to you all. Don’t try to “guide” a “stray” Sperm Whale to safety. Kill it. Kill it before it kills you, or explodes.

Carry on.