First, we should note that eating a dead horse is easier and tastier than chewing on a live one while it’s trying to gallop away. If you absolutely must tackle a live horse, do not make the mistake I made and try eating it butt-first.
Second, I think that rendering the horse edible (as equine sushi or dog food) is more constructive than delaying the horse’s inevitable return to the Circle of Life. Roy Rogers is infamous for having stuffed and mounted Trigger, an act I found morbid. He is more deservedly famous for having mounted and stuffed Dale Evans numerous times, though he may not have been aware that Trigger was also secretly mounting Dale Evans on the side.
Third, I have come here to excrete a poem.
FERDINAND’S POSTHUMOUS HAIKU
eat my ass and die
sushi-making Jappy freak
too chewy for you!
_
