Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is not a small man. He stands about si feet three inches tall. He weighs about 235 pounds. (Or just under 17 stone for those who like the old ways of measuring these things.) Your Maximum Leader likes food. He likes cooking it. He likes eating it.

And as much as your Maximum Leader likes to eat food, he’s discovering that he is becoming a lightweight. This Thanksgiving he ate the following (around 2pm): 3 crackers topped with warm brie, almonds, and peach jam; a handful of roasted nuts (pecans, almonds, walnuts); 2 crackers topped with crab dip; and one regular sized dinner plate containing 2 slices of turkey breast meat, 4 tbls of mashed potatoes, 4 tbls of stuffing, 2 tbl of cranberry dressing, 7 spears of asparagus, 2 tbls of onion casserole, and 3 tbls of gravy.

After all that he was done in. So done in he didn’t even eat pie two hours later. So done in he didn’t even eat anything at dinner time (or later). He still felt a little stuffed the next morning. So stuffed that he made himself a turkey sandwich using a left over dinner roll… Gone are the days of 2 or even 3 helpings at Thanksgiving dinner.

So… Imagine the stomach wrenching pain he felt while reading this article about competitive eating on the Washington Post. Of all of the “sports” in the world competitive eating is one that your Maximum Leader just doesn’t get. Doesn’t get at all. Perhaps it is his Catholic upbringing coming to the fore. Gluttony, you know, is one of the deadly sins.

Carry on.