Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must grimly set upon the task of proving to you all that the end of civilization as we know it is nigh upon us.

According to The Economist, budget airline Ryan Air will soon be allowing cell phone calls in-flight. Air France is soon to follow. Before you know it so will Southwest, United, Delta, American, KAL, Lufthansa, British Airways, and all the others.

One of the last bastions of quiet (from the voices of others - if not from jet engines) is taken from us…

Bastards!

Carry on.