The British Navy, my friends, protects the freedom of us all.
Take a moment to reflect on the way Trafalgar is a fulcrum of history. If Napoleon’s naval forces had secured even a few days’ control of the Channel, beautiful Albion would have fallen. Without the support of British coffers, the continental powers would have succumbed to the diminuative despot.
All hail the fall of Gallic Despotism!
Now this, my friends, is a sport.
Perhaps Sweet Seasons Farm should start growing uber-pumpkins. I particularly like the idea of turning one into a boat.
For the role playing geeks out there.
Super Seekrit note to the Big Hominid: Methinks you’ll enjoy “aporrhoea.”
See Serenity
Rapier wit dialogue
Cool explosions too
Geico ads stupid
The unofficial amphib?
Toddlers know better
The Luddites Were Right
Tractors are bad for farmers
Grab a shovel, man!
Does anyone else get annoyed at the Geico commercial that claims that the gecko is the “unofficial Virginia state amphibian?”
Maybe it’s just me.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is in Toronto right now. Bright clear day. Very pleasant overall. Unfortunately, the WiFi system at his hotel is not functioning and no one seems to know when it will be up and running. So your Maximum Leader is in a PC Bahang as it were checking on e-mails and such.
He thinks he is going to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame today if he has any free time. He might be lucky enough to catch a Leafs game on Wednesday night…
After watching some hockey on TV your Maximum Leader’s ill will towards the league is beginning to fade…
Anyho… Limited blogging still the expectation…
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had a great time last night. In case you didn’t read all about it on other blogs, there was a little fest of sorts last night. At the fest (held in the Washington Room of the Union Street Public House in Olde Towne Alexandria(e)) were JohnL of Texas Best Grok, Dawn of Caterwaulting, Ted of Rocket Jones, Buckethead of the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, Princess Cat of A Swift Kick & a Band Aid (and her boyfriend Matt), Robert the Llamabutcher, and Lysander of Alexandria.
And your Maximum Leader of course…
A great time was had by all. As with the other bloggers your Maximum Leader has met, it is a somewhat unique experience to meet a group of people who you feel you know at some level - but haven’t ever actually spoken to before. Conversation comes quickly and flows effortlessly. Your Maximum Leader is sure there is a sociology master’s thesis in the study of blogmeets out there waiting to be written… (If only your Maximum Leader were a sociology grad student…)
Your Maximum Leader was happy to meet everyone and enjoyed himself tremendously.
And now he is leaving for a trip to Toronto. Do not expect many updates from him during this week. That situation might change depending on circumstances - but it is best to set a low expectation.
In the meanwhile your Maximum Leader will just have to leave posting up to his capable Ministers…
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was just reviewing some news and came upon a piece that made him think a little bit.
It seems as though there is a strike in Italy right now. (No surprise there right?) This particular strike is among actors and actresses. You can read about it here and here. Milan’s famous La Scala is cancelling performances of The Barber of Seville. And organizers of the Venice Film Festival (which your Maximum Leader is told is the oldest in the world) are saying that this year’s festival might have to be cancelled.
Why you may ask? Well, because the Berlusconi Government (a center-right government remember - the meanies!) are proposing an 8 million Euro cut in the budget for the arts. According to the various articles this is about a 30% cut overall to the arts budget of the central government. (No mention is made of regional support of the arts.)
This caused your Maximum Leader to get to thinking… Now he cannot recall if he has proclaimed as much in this forum, but he has been a constant foe of federal funding for “the arts” in this country. Now in case this revelation causes astonished gasps in the audience allow him to clarify a few things. Your Maximum Leader is against federal funding of “the arts.” This doesn’t mean he is against “the arts.” Indeed, he is something of a (small-fry) patron of the arts. He goes to operas regularly. He donates to a Shakespearian troupe in DC (and sees plays there too). He’s even been known to make donations to the National Gallery of Art. He’s even bought art at galleries! (He’s even bought crappy pieces by artists he thought had talent just to keep them going.)
Frankly, your Maximum Leader doesn’t object in the least to state and local funding of the arts. He is all in favour of “Arts” education in schools. In fact, he thinks it is essential to teach music and fine arts to children all through school. He has paid money to the Villainettes’s school’s PTA so that his progeny will have three full-time art and music teachers. (As he understands it the county pays for one and a half and the PTA picks up the tab for the other one and a half.)
Excursus: One of the art teachers at the Villainettes school is awesome. She is creative. She is engaging. The kids love her. The other day Villainette #1 (the Princess Villainette) came home and asked if your Maximum Leader had ever heard of Michaelangelo. H said that he had (of course). Then he popped out an art history text he had laying around (for just such and occasion) and showed her pictures of David, the Pieta, and the Sistine Chapel (both restored and unrestored). To which Villainette #1 said, “Humm… Yeah. Mrs ______ said he was great. All that stuff you showed me was pretty good.” Your Maximum Leader suggested that the next time she saw her art teacher that Villainette #1 should tell her that Titian could have painted her hair. * To illustrate the point your Maximum Leader got to show Villainette #1 a few Titian portraits too. He hasn’t heard if that message was relayed yet…
Anyho…
Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think that our federal government should be in the art business. He believes this for two reasons. (Niether of which will come as a major shocker to anyone he thinks.) The first is that he doesn’t believe that it is a wise application of tax revenues. (Especially given the spending habits of this Congress.) The second is that he believe it promotes bad art.
By bad art he means “art” by the talentless for the tasteless.
(Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know if he actually made up that last line or if it jumped out of his subconscious after hearing or reading it elsewhere. If it deserves attribution - let your Maximum Leader know…)
Now not all art that receives some federal funding is tasteless. But enough of it is that it shouldn’t be funded federally. Some of you out there may be saying to yourselves, “Oh my Maximum Leader is so right on so many different things; but on this! This! He may be a bit off key.” No, no my minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t want to fund art that doesn’t have private sector appeal. And if art has private appeal - it shoudn’t be funded.
You see… The reason that Michaelangelo, Titian, Raphael, and the other greats never did a “Piss Christ” or crafted a Madonna out of elephant dung is twofold. The first fold is that they probably would have been burned alive as heretics. But the second fold is the main point, namely that they knew what their patrons would go for - or what they could convince their patrons to go for.
And now we come back to Italy…
Your Maximum Leader is a bit conflicted about Italy’s cutting of the arts budget.
Wha? But… You were just… Have you gone completely ’round the bend? (You all ask yourselves.)
No. Not at all. You see. Italy has a long-standing tradition of state support of the arts. Of course, for centuries “state support” meant “paint what Cosimo de Medici wants on his palace wall” or “sculpt that new sexy Madonna for Julius II” or even “Lorenzo the Magnificent wants a portrait of his worstest enemy done up like John the Baptist brought before Salome.” **
So Italy, unlike the United States, has a history of supporting artists. In the old days it might have been hard to tell the difference between “the state” and “the Doge.” But if the Doge liked you, well then state support was headed your way. But that long history makes state support less objectionable to your Maximum Leader. At least a little bit.
Until he read that part where Franco Zeffirelli said that the budget needed to be cut to get rid of the horrible hangers-on. Then the cuts seemed okay.
And after all that thinking about Italy and Italians…
Your Maximum Leader’s thoughts turned to one of his favourite Italians, Niccolo Machiavelli. Specifically, your Maximum Leader mused on two stories concerning ole Nick’s passing. Both of which he will relate here to you…
The first goes like this… Niccolo Machiavelli is on his death bed and is having a recurring dream. He tells his friends (those who still visit) that in the dream he sees two lines of people walking in opposite directions. The first line consists of shabbily dressed peasants and common folk walking. He asks who they are and they respond something to the effect of, “We are the meek. We are the blessed. We are on our way to heaven.” The second line (going in the opposite direction) consists of well-dressed people. Tey are talking amongst themselves and obviously well-off and educated. He asks who these people are and they respond, “We are the philosophers, writers, theologians, and thinkers of our times. And we are the damned of hell.”
In relating this story to his friends, Machiavelli said that he would rather spend eternity in hell. Because the conversation would, at the least, be better.
The second Niccolo on his death bed story goes like this… Machiavelli is dying. His eyes have been closed for a while and his breathing is laboured and shallow. From time to time Machiavelli asks for water. A priest is summoned to perform Extreme Unction. At the point in the ritual when Machiavelli is asked if he renounces Satan he is silent. The priest asks a second time if Machiavelli renounces Satan. Again silence. The priest asks a third time, “Niccolo, do you renounce Satan and his empty promises?” Niccolo opens his eyes and says quietly, “Father, this is no time to make enemies.”
Your Maximum Leader is told that only one of these stories is vaugely true. But your Maximum Leader prefers the other one.
Carry on.
(more…)
John Elway, after living a full life, died.
When he got to Heaven, God was showed him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Broncos flag in the window.
“This is yours for Eternity, John,” said God, “This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.”
Elway did feel special, and walked excitedly up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three story mansion with a green and old sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Packers logo flag, and in every window, a cheesehead.
John looked at God and said, “God, I’m not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 2 Super Bowls, and I even went to the hall of fame.”
God said, “So what do you want to know, John?”
” Well, why does Brett Favre get a better house than me?”
God chuckled, and replied, “John, that’s not Brett Favre’s house — it’s mine!”
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will pose a rhetorical question to all you Islamochechinbadguys out there. (As he is sure so many of you read this blog…) Why do you continue to fuck with hostages? Really. Your Maximum Leader wants to know. Why bother with hostages? It hasn’t stopped the Russians yet. Why did you think your most recent outing would be different?
Come on now. Think about it. Your Maximum Leader asks what is going through your little brain? Let’s review. You take hostages in a theatre in Moscow; they gas you then shoot you. You take hostages in a department store, they run an armoured personnel carrier through the wall; then they shoot you. If a few hostages get killed in “rescue” attempt - well… The Russians will have a big funeral, drink some vodka, and curse God for making the Russian’s life so hard. The senario always ends the same way. Dead bad guy.
Help yourself out a little bit. Don’t take hostages. Taking hostages doesn’t stop the Russians from shooting you dead. And it makes them very angry. And when Russians get very angry they are more likely to kill you.
Just a little advice from your Maximum Leader.
Carry on.
Really really sick. One of those nasty viral thingies. His fever is down to 100.6 from 103 yesterday.
Its those Atlanta Braves “spirits” leaving your body….
You should be fully recovered by the start of the World Series.
Back to the trenches.
Do men always have great sex? No.
There’s a difference between satisfying and great. A man is capable of having satisfying sex almost every time. For a guy, it’s pretty easy to figure out what’s satisfying, and what isn’t. I’ll leave that to the reader. But great sex? No, not every time.
Great Sex is not the same as satisfying sex. It’s hard to define. Great sex comes in many flavors. It can mean getting jumped in the kitchen after coming home from dinner. It can be long and leisurely in a hotel room. It can be whatever.
I don’t think most college age people have a clue what truly great sex is, though I’m sure many guys will argue that point. A guy in his early 20’s, who is just amazed that he is getting laid may say any sex is geat sex. To him, maybe that is the case.
Being married with kids, great sex is hard to come by. You try and fit one in before the kids wake up. Or you fight sleep to try and get romantic when the kids are at their grandparents for the night simply because you’ll feel lame if you don’t. Satisfying? Probably. Great? No.
For more check out Phin Jamesy, Stigmata and Drunken Wisdom. The ladies Kathy, Chrissy and Phoenix.
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