Ages ago, I bemoaned the fact that the newly single Denver girl asked after the Foreign Minister and not the Minister of Agriculture.

It seems I am chopped liver again. The Maximum Leader (and Kilgore Trout) gets all the gropes. Perhaps it is because I don’t curse enough.

Speaking of Denver Girl and Kilgore Trout, did the Maximum Leader ever follow through and introduce Kilgore to his neighbor? Methinks not.

Perhaps the very married Maximum Leader is developing a strategic booty reserve* and denying booty even to a single minion like Kilgore. Act One of the Mike World Order: Abolishing those silly monogamy laws and adding Denver Girl, Sadie, and Annika as wives two through four. Act Two of the Mike World Order will be seeking medical treatment for the wound inflicted by Mrs. Villain.

* The strategic booty reserve was an economic concept developed by our friend and fellow horseman of the apocalypse, “Wallstreet.” He developed the theory to explain why some of the horsemen seemed to have no problem with receiving attention from the fairer sex while some of the other horsemen had to suffer through major dry spells.

It turns out that the entire strategic booty reserve theory was inaccurate because it assumed booty trade was a zero-sum game. If this was the case, everyone in America would be a virgin except for the Propaganda Minister. He may be so liberal that it makes our eyes bleed, but chicks dig him. As subsequent events proved, booty exchanges are a win-win proposition. Crushed by the failure of his theory to accurately predict markets, Wallstreet abandoned the world of finance and became a hospital administrator.

And as I ramble down college memory lane, let me take this opportunity to dispel the rumors out there about my iberalism. Of the six horsemen of the apocalypse, I was dubbed “plague” because I advocated the use of blood agents against the Iraqi Republican Guards in Gulf War One.

What? First you think I’m too liberal, now you think I’m a fascist because I want to use chemical weapons. Come now, what’s a little violation of the Geneva Convention between friends?

Skippy has returned to blogging.

He claims that it is not Ophelia who has slowed his writing, blaming his absence on his job.

So I withdraw my call for Ophelia to dump him.

Skippy’s boss, please fire him now.

Anyhoo, Skippy has answered my questions about the coming Bush administration. He agrees with Mike and Greg that the evangelical rhetoric is overblown, but agrees that fiscal irresponsibility will be the order of the day. Read his whole post here.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader found an interesting post from Conrad over on his blog The Gweilo Diaries. It contained some excerpts from a Christopher Caldwell article in which Bernard Lewis says some pretty interesting things. The most interesting is the matter-of-fact fashion in which Lewis stated that “Europe will be part of the Arabic West.”

Whoa doggie! When your Maximum Leader first read those lines he was taken aback. Perhaps it was the straight-forwardness, the candor, of those words on the screen. But the more he thought about it, the more he recognized the truth to Lewis’ statement. Europe will either assimilate the Muslim Arabs within their borders; or they will be Islamofied.

The situation is really that clear.

It would be a shame to see the ancient and glorious cultures of the nations of Europe be subsumed by the rising tide of Islam. But perhaps it is the natural course of things. What the Turks couldn’t accomplish by force will be accomplished by open immigration and cultural relativism.

The irony is not lost on me.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was thinking last night that he misses the old “news breaks” they used to have on the big networks. You remember the ones, they would drop one commercial from the break and give you a 15-30 second review of the top stories nationally. Now it seems only local news broadcasts do them…

Anyway… Here is a little news break for you all.

Arafat Not Dead.

Jeb not running.

Kerry is running.

Still No hockey. Still no one cares.

The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in.

Film at 11.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Howard Dean is thinking of trying to become DNC Chairman. Humm… Your Maximum Leader thinks that this is a “feel good” move for Democrats. Your Maximum Leader knows that deep in many Democratic hearts there is a soft spot for Howard Dean. He is the man you first fell in love with when trying to unseat President Bush. How does that expression go? Something like you never forget your first?

Now your Maximum Leader will state that Howard Dean will certainly be no worse than Terry McAuliffe. McAuliffe has been a complete bust for the Democratic Party. So on the face of it, Dean couldn’t do much worse. If the Democrats under Dean could pick up a few House seats and a Senate seat or two he would be much more successful than McAuliffe.

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader, while not prone to giving in to wild conspiracy theories, wonders if McAuliffe - Bill Clinton’s man - wasn’t sent to the DNC to fail miserably and thereby make Clinton look even better in retrospect… Naww… Too improbable.

But getting back to the point. Moving Dean to the DNC is going to make lots of liberal Democrats feel a whole lot better. (And it is all about feeling better isn’t it? Not about being better?) But if the Democratic Party wants to win over some voters who “defected” to George Bush they will have to do better. They will have to put a nice moderate Democrat into that office. Someone like Tom Vilsack of Iowa or Mark Warner of Virginia.

Of course, your Maximum Leader, rather selfishly, wouldn’t mind Dean being DNC Chairman. Dean amused your Maximum Leader so much during the primaries there is no reason to think that he wouldn’t continue to do so as DNC Chairman.

Excursus: Is it DNC Chairman or DNC Chair? How politically correct do you have to get? Your Maximum Leader hates the word “Chair” used as description of a presiding officer of some sort. Chairman or Chairwoman is fine. Chair? A Chair is something common your Maximum Leader rests his arse in. A Chair doesn’t preside over the Democratic National Committee.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader loves lobsters. Perhaps not as much as he loves Blue Crabs. But he loves them a lot. And he is really impressed with the accomplishment of Barry Giddings of Chester, Vermont. Barry ate 19 lobsters in 35 minutes. Your Maximum Leader wonders if these were 1 lb lobsters? No matter how large they were that is a lot of lobster.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is always pleased to deliver one more of just about anything in the slapping department to the Smallholder.

But since our dear friend seems to need a little lift… Your Maximum Leader presents The Annotated Philosophers’ Song from Monty Python. It never ceases to bring a smile to his face and a jolly chuckle from his non-exposed belly.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s brain is filled with various posts that he really wants to type and get out there. But the way time flies sometimes, he finds he just doesn’t have the time. Perhaps he should take a page out of Nicole’s book and write something short and sweet that cuts right to the heart of the matter. Like this post for instance.

Carry on.

Both the Maximum Leader and Rusty Shackleford have administered slaps upside your humble(d) Smallholder’s head.

Deserved smacks.

But deserved not so much for historical ignorance but from bad writing.

For those of you who rely on the Minister of Agriculture to interpret history, let me apologize for leading you astray. I did not mean to imply that desegregation was the result of ONLY court action. LBJ’s yeoman work pushing through the Civil Rights Act was critical, as was the brilliantly persuasive non-violent protest movement (I explicitly reject Malcolm X and the “any means necessary crowd, they being analogous to the beleashed in-your-face queer crowd in their counterproductivity).

So Mike and Rusty were right and I was wrong.

My point, had I been able to make it clearly, was that court action spurred all that followed. There was not a steadily growing anti-segregation movement that had roots prior to the Civil War. Northerners might have been opposed to slavery, but the vast majority did not believe that the races were equal; Sumner and Stevens were considered to be fringe loonies by most outside their constituent bases. After the collapse of reconstruction (or as the great Dr. Hall of Longwood was wont to say, Reckon-struction) and the efforts of redeemers, Jim Crow was the established way of life. Most African-Americans in the South came to accept this; one of the biggest challenges of the voter registration drives was to convince Southern blacks to rock the vote and risk the anger of the whites. The NAACP’s efforts in the political realm were weak and unsuccessful, forcing them to turn to the courts for redress.

Actually, as I write this, I realize that I ought not to be so glum about the prospect of equality for gays. Part of the persuasive power of King’s movement was his ability to throw into sharp contrast the peaceful marchers and the hateful actions of the white segregationists. Many Americans who were sitting on the fence were compelled to choose sides, and they chose ‘em. Not so much out of love for African Americans but out of horror at the ugliness of the diehard segregationists.

Maybe Dobson, or Harrisonburg’s own demagogue Elledge, quoted in the post below, will go too far. Americans who oppose gay marriage but are willing to grant rights through civil unions were not going to challenge the radical leaders of the anti-gay-marriage crusade. The supporters of civil unions are a soft middle, unlikely to march for their cause. But maybe they will be pushed into the arms of equality advocates by the likes of Elledge.

Here is today’s top story from the Harrisonburg Daily News Record:

HHS Students Face Anti-Gay Protest
City GOP Chairman Opposes Alliance
By JEFF MELLOTTDaily News-Record

Harrisonburg resident John Elledge is calling for the disbandment of a new student club, the “Gay and Straight Alliance” at Harrisonburg High School.
A spokesman for the group could not be reached Monday.
But Elledge, 43, city Republican Party chairman and an aide to Del. Glenn Weatherholtz, R-Harrisonburg, described the club as a “teenage homosexual advocacy” organization.
High School Principal Irene Reynolds approved the club. “It’s not a matter of a good idea or not being a good idea. It’s a matter of students’ rights and federal law,” she said.
Getting Approval
Students applied for club status Oct. 19, Reynolds said.
To gain approval, a student club must adhere to School Board policies and not be considered a disruptive force, Reynolds said.
The students must have a meeting place and a faculty member willing to guide students through the club-approval process and supervise meetings.
Students sought out English teacher Sheila Antonnicola, 42, of Harrisonburg, because they needed a sponsor for their club. “You don’t have to be gay. You don’t have to be straight. Yu don’t have to be anything to belong,” she said.
The club’s emphasis will be civic involvement, Antonnicola said. The students, she said, hope to break down barriers and increase understanding. “I think it’s great,” she added.
Equal Treatment
Elledge began contacting school board members last week after he found out about the formation of the club. He urges city residents interested in the issue to contact school board members.
While school board members were not part of the approval process of the club, Superintendent Donald Ford said the board could review and revoke the club’s recognized status for good cause. Ford said he also has similar authority. Messages left for most school board members were not returned.
Even as an approved group, Ford said, the club is not considered school-sponsored or endorsed. “Currently, we are obligated by law to give equal treatment to all students and that is what we intend to do,” he said.
Possible Trend
Elledge, who attempted to get the Bible-based Weekday Religious Education release time reinstated in city elementary schools, is disturbed by the recent sequence of events, including the school approval of the club.
“Notably,” Elledge said in a prepared statement, “the formation of the teenage homosexual advocacy group has occurred just a few short months after the entire cadre of Harrisonburg’s elementary school principals forcefully persuaded the administration and the school board to drive the cityv s 75-year-old Weekly Religious Education program out of the schools.”
At the time, school board members said they were responding to recommendations from principals and staff for better use of instructional time in light of growing state and federal academic accountability standards.
“I am willing to reserve judgment on the high school and elementary principals’ motives for now,” Elledge said, “but the succession of events sure creates the impression that they are hostile to the community’s values and are methodically implementing an agenda to drive religion from our children’s lives, subject them to the destructive forces of homosexuality during the most vulnerable periods of their emotional development, potentially expose them to people with unsavory proclivities from outside the school, and use them as tools to normalize the aspirations of the radical left.”
Shadow Cast
Ford took exception to Elledge’s linkage of the issues. “I find it quite objectionable that a statement would be made about reserving judgment on the motives of the high school and elementary principals,” Ford said.
“That particular comment, whether intended or not, does cast a shadow on the motives of these professional hard-working individuals,” he said.
Ford added that he would like to see Elledge reconsider his statement.
But Elledge stood by his words. “That’s certainly the impression that is out in the community,” he said of the events.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader read over both Llamabutcher Steve’s and Robert’s recollections of the Wall coming down. In keeping with that meme, your Maximum Leader remembers watching CNN in his dorm room with his roommate as the wall came down. Neither of us could believe what was happening as your Maximum Leader recalls. Your Maximum Leader also seems to remember that he got a call from a few Republican/right-leaning friends that night who all wanted to say “We won.”

And one of those friends, if your Maximum Leader’s memory serves him, was later indicted, tried and convicted for political dirty tricks he pulled while working for the Virginia State Republican party.

Humm…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must take a moment to agree completely with the BigHominid’s lastest post.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader makes sure he visits Gut Grumbles at least twice a day. It is because of little bits of wisdom and joy that the Tall Dog gives to your Maximum Leader across the ether of the internet.

Today was a great example of this. One moment we’re dealing with metaphysical issues. The next, we’re shooting guns. How great is that?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wasn’t too surprised in the results of the following quiz:

You are a cardinal! You love to try & get others
into trouble, even if you have to make up
lies…NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!

What Monty Python Sketch Character are you?
bought to you by Quizilla

Thanks to Robert the LlamaButcher for showing us this one. And BTW Robert, your Maximum Leader loves the Philosopher’s Drinking Song too. He sometimes sings it with the Smallholder on the farm, while drinking beer!

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is just getting around to reading other blogs today. (Busy day. He just finished reading and writing a little bit for his own blog a few moments ago.)

Your Maximum Leader directs his minions to a loyal minion who has rushed to his Maximum Leader’s defence in the whole issue of your Maximum Leader’s way of doing things in our political process would result in us still having “colored” drinking fountains and the like. Loyal Minion Dr. Rusty Shackelford sticks up for your Maximum Leader in his post: The Myth of the Supreme Court as Agent of Desegregation.

And while he is talking about Dr. Rusty… Don’t complain Rusty! Your Maximum Leader didn’t even make the top five.

Carry on.