Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader posted a link yesterday directing minions to Sadie’s very well done post on Sex & Politics. Well, she is now giving us part two of the post.

According to Sadie your Maximum Leader’s type (the pseudo-benevolent autocrat goes like this:

A Pseudo-Benevolent Autocrat: You have two casual, non-exclusive dating relationships. As you are possessed with absolute power and flanked by a tightly knit group of despots, essentially you can do whatever the hell you want. Yet you linger, skillfully wielding this power with the intent of improving your subjects’ lives–whilst nourishing the ulterior, back-pocket motive of reinforcing your own authority in the process. Such a manner would be to provide generous gifts to both ladies, and having mindblowing sex with both of them shamelessly. Meanwhile, you assure them that even if their fellow serfs call them “sluts,” it matters not. Why? Reforming the entire social structure of the country allows you to recategorize the strata. “Slut” will then no longer be a derogatory term, instead it will enjoy a level of prestige rivaled only by trial lawyers. Eventually you persuade the ladies to bring you beer and nachos whilst lounging in a hammock, feeling enlightened and reading Voltaire.

Isn’t Sadie just brilliant? Oh yes. She is. Go and read the whole thing for yourself.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will put forward a little suggestion to election officials everywhere… Paper ballots.

Your Maximum Leader knows that many trees may die to provide the paper for the ballots for 100,000,000+ Americans. (Couldn’t we require that all paper ballots be made from 60% recycled materials?)

Your Maximum Leader also knows that paper ballots fly in the face of all American’s love (and your Maximum Leader’s love) of technology. But if you stop and think about it, you can apply technology to reading the ballots accurately. Just because you are using paper ballots doesn’t mean you have to count them by hand as they do in Highland County, Virginia. (Population 2,400)

Your Maximum Leader thinks that the big loser in this election is the high-falutin’ ultra-cool electronic voting machine. They are expensive, prone to break down, and confusing to idiots. If you can use a pen and fill in a circle, you can vote on a paper ballot.

In your Maximum Leader’s precinct, we use paper ballots and mark them with a black or blue pen. It was so simple a 5 year old could do it. And your Maximum Leader empircially tested this. He took the Tomboy Villainette into the booth with him and instructed her which circles to colour in. She performed admirably.

Paper ballots. Think about it.

Carry on.

And what a vote of confidence for all of us Neo Cons out here!

Back to the trenches for a Cigar and a Scotch…..

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as is his wont, reports a wild boar attack in Douglas County in Wisconsin. The boar was estimated to be nearly 500 lbs. Great Jeezey Chreezey! 500 pounds ofwild tusked beast roaming the countryside.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader says go now and read Gregg Easterbrook’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback column on NFL.com.

And this week your Maximum Leader has a little bone to pick with the good Mr. Easterbrook. In the TMQ column, he argues that some subatomic particle research going on at Fermilab is so theoretical as to never be able to yeild a practical application. Easterbrook says that this research should be done with private funds.

Here is one area in which your Maximum Leader thinks Federal Dollars are appropriately spent. As best your Maximum Leader understands it, this highly theoretical research may not ever yeild a practical daily application thus private companies would not gain anything by funding this research. (Private foundations might however…) But the Federal Government probably should fund research that might not have practical application.

If anyone is really interested in your Maximum Leader’s thoughts on this, he’ll expand them later…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants to give a little linky-love (since that is the only type Mrs. Villain allows him to give anymore to anyone who isn’t Mrs. Villain) to his newly minted Most Loyal Minion, Sadie.

NB to Sadie: Think this or this. You know what your Maximum Leader is insinuating you saucy girl you. They look great on you and are fun for your Beau. Plus it reminds your Beau of who his Maximum Leader is… Anyho…

Reading Sadie’s most recent post: Sex & Politics makes your Maximum Leader think that the Smallholder is definately a Democrat. He just goes on and on and on about how people need to pay more taxes. It would serve him right to have one girl go by the wayside to get the “righteous feeling.”

Your Maximum Leader awaits Sadie’s description of Pseudo-Benevolent Autocrat. Which is how your Maximum Leader would classify himself…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had a very nice lunch today with some friends (a politically very diverse bunch) and the subject of how and who votes came up. It is interesting to think of how voting has changed over the years in our colonies/republic.

Here in Virginia during the colonial period, 1607-1776, in order to be eligible to vote you had to be: white, male, over 21 years old, and a property owner (either a developed lot in a town, or at least 50 acres in the country). Also during this period, if you owned land in multiple jurisdictions you could vote in each of those jurisdictions. (Thus Geoge Washington at one point voted in no fewer than 5 Virginia counties in the lead-up to the revolution. They were: Fairfax, Westmorland, Stafford, Fauquier, and King George in the settled areas. There were more along the western frontier.) The theory behind this was the oft stated “Stake in Society” argument. You should only be allowed to vote if you have a stake in society (ie: property).

It is your Maximum Leader’s understanding that Pennsylvania, and New York had similar election laws (that is similar to Virginia) during the colonial period.

In the early years of the republic the property clause was removed. This was completed pretty much by the end of the Jackson presidency. As we all know, the race requirement was removed (more or less) after the Civil War. The Sex requirement after WWI. And by the end of the 1960’s the voting age had been reduced to 18.

Now, pretty much any adult can vote. (Except disfranchised felons.) And your Maximum Leader and his friends mused about if this was a good thing. At one point your Maximum Leader asked for the opinions of the table concerning voter challenges going on around the nation. Specifically that many Hispanics were being challenged on the basis of citizenship. (The Smallholder would have been proud of your Maximum Leader trying to mix it up.) The general consensus at the table was that is was sad that we’ve come to challenging voter qualifications. But surprisingly there was consensus concerning one of your Maximum Leader’s peeves.

You see, your Maximum Leader has never ever been a fan of “Motor Voter” laws. That is to say the laws by which if you have a drivers licence in your state you become registered to vote. Your Maximum Leader feels quite strongly that citizens should take the extra time and go and register to vote seperately from some other activity. (That isn’t to say that the facilities can’t be joined together - he objects to one act automatically leading to another.)

The Motor Voter laws may be responsible for many challenges. You don’t have to be a citizen to get a drivers licence. And knowing the inefficiencies of our motor vehicle departments, it is highly likely that many non-citizens who are entitled to drive accidentially become registered to vote.

The consensus at lunch was surprisingly aligned with your Maximum Leader’s opinions on this matter. We should require proof of citizenship before allowing someone to register to vote. Everyone at the table knew an illegal alien who had a drivers licence. We all speculated if those people would also go to vote today. And pretty much to a person we agreed that it was wrong of them to be able to do so.

We also discussed the commuter and voting. This was the more interesting discussion. In our area we have many people who commute the 50 miles to DC every day for work. These people get up before dawn to get to work, and come home after dark. They are not particularly “civic minded.” At least not civic minded in our community. Indeed, most of these people feel as though they live in “Northern Virginia” or “DC.” That is how they view their lives. We speculated if it wouldn’t be better for them to choose where they would like to vote. Many of these people have no idea what issues go on locally. And their primary concerns locally are roads being open to allow them to go to their place of business. They are concerned, to an extent, about schools. But they don’t have time to participate in school board hearings, PTA meetings, or other activities.

It is really something of a quandry isn’t it? Many many voters with no idea what is going on in their community. Of course, as any political science professor will tell you these people rarely turn out for state/local elections. So in a way they’ve removed themselves from that part of the process. And if reducing the number of ill-informed voters is a goal - these people are quite accomodating on their own.

NB: Your Maximum Leader has always hated the appellation “Political Science.” What the hell is wrong with “Government” or “ivics.” It really isn’t a scientific activity. Sure they want to use lots of “scientific methods” in doing research. But the field is really part of the Humanities. Would a good old fashioned name be so hard to bear?

But it made us wonder if it might be better to come up with some other criteria for where you vote…

And in case any of you all were wondering. At the lunch table we had 4 people. Your Maximum Leader (Conservative - trends Republican), one person claims to be independent (but trends Republican), one who claims to be independent (and votes that way, and one long-time Democrat (but one of the old-school Southern Democrats who are socially progressive - not liberal - and economically rather conservative as well as somewhat hawkish in foreign affairs). The vote tally at the table…

George W. Bush - 3 John F. Kerry - 1. (And the Kerry vote was the Independent.)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has decided that on a day where there will be precious little civility and culture to give you all an opportunity to get a little culture to brighten your day. Thanks to the Washington Post, your Maximum Leader has read a fascinating article about a new exhibit on Spanish Portraiture at the Prado. If you don’t care to read about it at the Post, you may go ahead and read (in Spanish or English) at the Prado’s site.

Your Maximum Leader loved the Prado when he visited Spain. Until his visit he had never really stopped to think of Spanish painters. But he left Spain with a deep appreciation and love of El Greco and Goya. Picasso’s cubist works are still a bit much for your Maximum Leader’s sense of aesthetics, but he can recognize them as great art. And just to give Picasso a fair shake, your Maximum Leader is quite fond of many of Picasso’s early works.

So, give yourself a few minutes away from the din of election day politics and read about fine art. If you have the inclination and means, get thee to Madrid and see the art for yourself. (And while there, have some tapas for your Maximum Leader. Or perhaps some broiled suckling pig… Yummm… Broiled suckling pig…)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just laughed and laughed while reading the lastest from the Crack Young Staff at The Hatemonger’s Quarterly. Money quote: “But we just can’t stand morons exhorting pinheads to vote.”

Brilliant!

Carry on

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to chime in on the whole Bill O’Reilly sexual harassment issue brought up by the Smallholder.

Your Maximum Leader agrees that the alleged behaviour of Mr. O’Reilly is repulsive. Your Maximum Leader further hopes that Mrs. O’Reilly chooses to leave Bill and get some lawyers to suck him dry.

That said… Your Maximum Leader feels he would have to point out that were Fox News to fire O’Reilly they (Fox) would be in the wrong and potentialy on the line for a big payout to O’Reilly. Why? Well, first off, Ms. Mackris never complained formally to Fox about the alleged behaviour. She went straight to the courts. So, Fox presumably hasn’t investigated any claim on their own, because none was ever made.

Next off, thanks to the settlement no one has done anything wrong. So how could Fox fire O’Reilly when both O’Reilly and Mackris are saying no one did anything wrong. A payment to one party from another is not legally admission of anything. And can’t be used as such. So, your Maximum Leader doesn’t think Fox is on the hook to do anything.

Your Maximum Leader will also quibble a little with Smallholder’s characterization of O’Reilly as a conservative. Your Maximum Leader has watched O’Reilly’s show enough to know that O’Reilly is not a liberal or conservative per se. Bill O’Reilly is a bully bomb-thrower. (And your Maximum Leader is not using “bully” like Theodore Roosevelt would.) O’Reilly is a self-promoter who doesn’t care who’s Wheaties he pees in to get attention. He has gone after just as many liberals as conservatives. He claims to be out to expose wrong-doing and lying. Which he does most of the time. But he is just after the big story in many cases and isn’t really easily identified with one or the other side in a political argument.

Now, there is the point of what hasn’t been said in this non-case. Ms. Mackris may have had tapes of O’Reilly saying things that could have gotten him in more trouble than he wound up getting in; but wedon’t know anything about the circumstances leading up to the tapes being made.

Who is to say that Ms. Mackris wasn’t a willing participant in some dallience at first. And then changed her mind and decided to get some money? Who is to say that she didn’t want O’Reilly to massage her large breasts in a shower at one point; but later feel wronged in some way and want revenge?

We’ll never know because both Ms. Mackris and Bill O’Reilly have signed a legally binding agreement. In that agreement they will both agree that no one did anything wrong and that both parties will keep their mouths shut about whatever wrong didn’t occur.

So it is an open question what did or didn’t happen. As is so often the case in a sexual harassment lawsuit. And ultimately that is why O’Reilly’s ratings will not suffer. No one will really know and both sides can honestly spin it however they want (within the confines of their agreement saying no one did anything wrong).

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has decided to make a few endoresments and predictions on ye olde blogge for the election tomorrow.

First off, if you are a resident of Virginia, your Maximum Leader feels that you can vote for both Constitutional Amendments with clear conscience. The first establishes that if there is a special election or appointment to a US House, State Senate, or State House of Delegates between the time that districts are redrawn after a census, and the next general election; that the old districts will be used. This amendment was put forth to correct a little bit of craziness we had here in the Old Dominion in 2001. We had a number of special elections for State Senate and House of Delegates and at the time it wasn’t clear if the new post-census districts were to be used or the old pre-census districts were to be used. This Amendment makes it clear that in this case the old pre-census districts are used.

The Second Amendment proposal just adds more elected officals to the official sucession to the office of Governor. Right now the succession is: Lieutenant Governor, Attorney General, and Speaker of the House of Delegates. The new succession is: Lieutenant Governor, Attorney General, Speaker of the House of Delegates, Successor to the Speaker of the House of Delegates, President of the State Senate, and Majority Leader of the State Senate. While the whole “successor to the Speaker of the House of Delegates” is quirky, it isn’t so quirky that one shouldn’t vote for the Amendment.

FYI, this will be the first year since he was eligible to vote and there have been mulitple Amendments to the State Constitution proposed that your Maximum Leader will vote for all the proposed Amendments.

On to more Endorsements.

Your Maximum Leader, as you may suspect, has decided to vote for the re-election of President Bush. All things considered, the President is most likely to give your Maximum Leader the type of leadership he is hoping for. This is not to say that the President is your Maximum Leader’s erfect choice. But he is a far sight better than is Senator Kerry.

As for the Prediction…

The Smallholder predicts a Bush win. Larry Sabato, eminent professor of government at the University of Virginia and pundit of whom your Maximum Leader hold in high regard, believes it may come down to a 269-269 tie. (Which means a Bush win.) Your Maximum Leader is going to come off his “too close to call” stance and say that one candidate will win clearly in the popular vote. That candidate will break the 51% mark. And that candidate will be George W. Bush.

But due to the way our Electoral College works, your Maximum Leader doesn’t think he can predict that outcome. Your Maximum Leader hopes that Bush will prevail handily in the Electoral voting; but with the legions of lawyers out there - fraud will be found or invented. Thus there is no telling what will happen.

And now for the “More!” part of this post…

Well… There really isn’t any more. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t have much to say. Except that if you are reading this and still undecided… Don’t vote.

Carry on.

UPDATE: There really is more. Your Maximum Leader reads that Annika has made predictions. But not only that, Annika is betting any liberal blogger to take Kerry to win (in what your Maximum Leader presumes is a straight Electoral win without interference from the courts) against her Bush to win with the loser shutting down their blog for good.

Aiieee! What a wager!

NB to Lovely Annika: Now Annika, your Maximum Leader respects your “balls” in making such a wager. And while he doesn’t think that that you will lose this one… In the highly unlikely case you do, you will be welcomed here at Nakedvillainy any time you want.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was looking over the news wires and his eye drifted to one particular headline that made him choke on his tea. The offending headline is: ‘Cornhole’ Catching on Beyond Midwest.

Now in the Midwest, “Cornhole” is a game you play with little bags filled with corn. Sort of like horseshoes.

Where your Maximum Leader comes from, “Cornhole” is a verb. It has the same meaning as “Cutler.”

Perhaps you can see why your Maximum Leader reacted in the way he did.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is thrilled. Two (count ‘em - 2) reports of wild boar on the same day. The first was previously linked below. The boar in Germany caused a pileup on the highway. This time the boar was caught by fishermen as it swam in the harbour of a port town near Kobe, Japan.

Weird, wild stuff.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thought he would post this if only to hear the wails and cries from the Big Hominid.

From nameless ct to global icon, Japan’s Hello Kitty turns 30.

Shhh! What’s that sound? Why, it’s the sound of Hominid testicles shrinking…

Carry on.

Bush wins, 273 to 265. Popular vote even at 48%. Nader and Badnarik each get 1.2%.

It will all come down to turn-out. Kerry’s folks are much less committed to their man; Republicans ought to pray for bad weather.

I think the closeness of this election speaks ill of both Bush’s policies and of Kerry’s campaign.

I bumped Badnarik’s numbers because I think many conservatives are so satisfied with Bush’s fiscal policy that some may jump ship (like Nader voters did to the Dems last time ’round).

Are there any other ministers who are willing to post their guesses and risk humiliation?