Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was over on the LlamaButchers site where he saw that Cooter advises true fans to not go and see the upcoming Dukes of Hazzard movie. There was also a quiz. So your Maximum Leader took it.

I am 17% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader realizes that while he might be snarky, whimsical, and vapid in his social commentary fro time to time, there are serious problems in the world that need our attention and energy.

Kathy has done well to focus our attention on the problem with diabetes in our nation by discussing her nephew’s condition. Go and read her post and do what you can: The Walk To Cure Diabetes

Your Maximum Leader has lost a number of relations to diabetes. So he knows a little something about the condition. Give what you are able to and help thosse who need your help.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is both posting and collaborating on this week’s Men’s Club/Divas subject. You see originally the Air Marshal was going to do the whole post; but due to a communication breakdown on the part of your Maximum Leader his friend didn’t get the topic listing until he had left town on a business trip. The Air Marshal, being a good and thoughtful friend, didn’t want to fall down on the job and not post anything, so he sent your Maximum Leader this to post:

How To Avoid Rejection or Deal with Rejection.

First of all, don’t avoid rejection. Rejection is proof that you are trying. The only way to avoid rejection is to live a monastic life. Think about it in baseball terms. If you get rejected 2 out of 3 times, you’re batting .333 and in the All Star Game. 3 out of 4 times, and you’re still above the Mendoza line, and probably not in danger of getting sent to the minors.

Of course, one way to avoid rejection is to be the rejector. We all know people like that. People who freak out when something gets too good for them.

Dealing with Rejection? For guys, I recommend beer. Beer and pornos. For women, I guess it’s Haagen Daaz, French Fries, and Chocolate Chip cookie dough. (But that stuff goes right to your thighs and leads to more rejection.) The best way to deal with rejection is with friends. I can’t speak to how women deal, but for guys I suggest you get drunk with a bunch of guys and complain about how women suck. Or don’t suck enough. Whatever. Just don’t whine too much. Complaining is ok. Don’t be sniveling about it. And, yes, your friends will make fun of you behind your back. (Or sometimes to your face.) Remember, what goes around comes around.

Your Maximum Leader will agree with the main points here. You’ve gotta get back on the horse once you’ve been rejected. This is hard for some. Indeed, your Maximum Leader never dealt with rejection as well or as healthily as did the Smallholder (for example). But the only way to avoid rejection is to never put yourself in a position to date.

As for dealing with rejection… Beer and friends (for guys) is a great therapy. This therapy generally starts with your buddies trying to be sympathetic. Then as the beer flows and time passes the sympathy stage moves into the “women suck” stage. This is when men share their rejection stories and collectively decide to bash the fairer sex. This second stage quickly moves into the third stage of rejection recovery, which is merciless teasing by your buddies. This is when your friends proceed to tell you what a puz you’ve been for dating whatever her name was. They make jokes out of all the times you ditched them to spend time with her. They mock your displays of tenderness and concern for whoever she was that you were sleeping with (or trying to sleep with). The might even go so far as to act out little vingettes of your (now former) dating life. One of your pals will play you as the obsequious sap and another will play a domineering demanding version of whozit that just dumped you. And the mockery stage is not followed nearly quickly enough by the “We need to get you laid stage.” Inevitably this stage ends with a bunch of drunk guys in a stip club exhorting “Missy Mounds” to come and smother you with her 50GG breasts and put you out of your misery…

When you sober up, you’re not cured; but the smarting of your spirit is diminished. And after a day or two you start to come around and realize that you aren’t all that bad a guy. Once you hit that stage, it is all uphill for you.

For other takes on this subject… Surf on over to the other members of the Men’s Club. There are The Wizard, Phin, and Stiggy.

Curious as to what the ladies think? Check out the Divas. There is Sadie, Chrissy, Silk, Kathy, and guest diva, Phoenix.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the politics news wire that Sen Edward Kennedy (D-Mass) is demanding that Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Penn) apologize for an opinion piece the latter wrote for Catholic Online.

Of course, the column was written in July 2002.

And Teddy is just getting around to condeming Santorum and demanding an apology. Humm… Your Maximum Leader wouldn’t be surprised if the latest magazine in the senior Senator from Massachusetts’ office waiting room was from 1988. One wonders if Teddy’s nightstand doesn’t have a new copy of 1982’s bestselling book, ET.

Come on Teddy. Stay current. Your Maximum Leader is sure that there is something that Santorum has said more recently that you could be outraged over.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was intrigued by the headline: AMC theater chain doesn’t get dirty joke. So he read the article.

It seems the AMC theatre chain will not show a movie called “The Aristocrats.” The movie features many well-known comedians retelling and dissecting “the worlds dirtiest joke.” It is supposedly vulgar, obscene, and unrated.

So, you are asking yourself, what is “the dirtiest joke?” Well, your Maximum Leader isn’t sure. If you know, feel free to clue him in. He’s officially hooked for the joke.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s earlier story about a prematurely sold Harry Potter book, while perhaps amusing to you all, was not enterly accurate. It seems as though the original story to which your Maximum Leader linked was miraculously updated by the AP. According to the updated story on the AP, the book was sold to one Mandy Muldoon who was shopping for her 9 year old son.

But all that other stuff about the Writ from SCOTUS and bleeding eyes and 10 point tests… All that is true.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was a great hockey fan from 1976 until 2004. He loved hockey. He went to games. Watched on TV. He was just the person the NHL relied upon to keep themselves going.

Then came the lockout. The cancelled season. The time. Now it seems that the League and the Players have an agreement in principle.

And your Maximum Leader doesn’t care. He doubts he will watch any hockey. He doubts he will go to a game. He knows he will not buy any hockey stuff. He’s gone a year with no product. His DTs were over months ago.

He might watch a game of the week on TV during that period from the conclusion of the Super Bowl to the beginning of Spring Training. But that is it. Oh! He’ll watch Olympic hockey too. But that really is it.

Commissioner Bettman, Owners, Players, your Maximum Leader bids you all a fond adieu. It was good while it lasted. But you all suck.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that another copy of Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince has been sold. This time in New York state. It was sold to a nine year old girl.

In other news, Scholastic (Rowling’s Publisher) has received a Writ of Stoopidous Rulingus (co-signed by Justices Stevens, Breyer, and Ginsburg) ordering the girl to do the following: 1) not read the book, 2) surrender the book to Scholastic, 3) to not talk about anything she may have read in the book, 4) eat her broccoli, 5) listen to her teachers, 6) exercise three times a day, 7) stop growing, refrain from sexual intercourse until she is at least 18, 9) submit written lists of everthing she buys at any store or from any individual to the Federal District Courts of New York for the next 10 years so that the court can review whateconomic activity she engages in can be construed as interstate commerce, and 10) buy property in an urban renewal zone so that it can be taken from her at a later date.

In other news, Retiring Justice Sandra Day O’Connor said in a C-Span interview that if this case should make it before the Court at a later time the Justices should create a 10 point test to guide lower courts in future ruling concerning premature book sales.

In other other news, Justices Scalia and Thomas check themselves in to Walter Reed Medical Center because “they feared their eyes would bleed or their brains explode” if they read anything written by their collegues on the Court.

No word on how this might affect the supposed retirement of Chief Justice Rehnquist.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, for the very first time ever, is now regretting that he hasn’t moved faster on that blog redesign. (BTW, it is underway now… And moving…) He would love to see the nasty-gram comments his recent Rove post would be getting…

It seems that to be a right-leaning (okay, who is your Maximum Leader kidding - right-wing) blogger and be calling for Rove to resign/be fired is enough to get a serious news network to mention you on the air. No really! It happened to Dr. Rusty… Really… See his link: Hell Freezes Over: Jawas on CNN

Not only that… The lovely Annika linked to your Maximum Leader as well. And she is getting some nasty nasty comments as a result of her stance.

And the always thoughtful Buckethead at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy weighs in too. Buckethead’s take is that Rove was speaking on deep background and didn’t intentionally do anything to reveal Plame’s name.

And to add to all this, loyal reader Powermfn writes:

How soft you are on the Karl Rove thing! Having worked in govmint I know how these things go. Loose lips sink ships. I would bet you a dozen donut holes that Rove is now cursing the moment he even brought up what he thought was an indirect reference to Plame during the meeting with the reporter. It is no big leap to take what he said and find the name Valerie Plame. As for being blameless because he did not know she was a CIA operative, why did he make such an indirect reference in the first place? Plame was at that time a consultant with a CIA cover company. Yes, that makes her “under cover”. Did she have the authority that Rove attributed to her, of setting up and authorizing her husband’s trip abroad? No. That authority is up a bit in the flow chartfrom her level.

Legal? Political? Try breach of trust, not only with the Prez who swore that no one in his WH was behind this, and then breaching trust with the American people. As far as many of us are concerned, Rove can fade back into the sagebrush where doubtless he just might find work for his “skills” with the contemporary version of Quantrell’s raiders cuz nobody with an illusion of integrity will have anything to do with him.

And, no, it is not the fault of the press! When is the WH going to wake up and realize that this sort of tack is totally discredited!

Well with all this going on your Maximum Leader supposes that he should speak some more to this point. (And perhaps get lucky and have Juliet Huddy or Kiran Chetry on Fox News mention this site on the news!)

Your Maximum Leader has, in keeping with the spirit of the new stories out there, focused his comments on Rove’s role in whole deal. To restate, your Maximum Leader is quite confident that Rove did not break the law. Plame was a consultant for the CIA. Nothing he has read has done anything to convince him that even with a stunningly broad reading of the law could you classify Plame as the type of agent for whom the law was written. From a legal perspective, your Maximum Leader is confident that Rove has little or nothing to fear.

Now some of your Maximum Leader’s liberal, or “independently minded” (*cough*squishy*cough*), friends say, “Well what about the Independent Prosecutor? Why would he be working on the case still if there was no case?” Good question there. Allow your Maximum Leader to state clearly and specifically his views on Independent Prosecutors. The Independent Prosecutor laws are a travesty in our Republic and bring shame on our mealy-mouthed yellow-bellied political class. Any politician who advocates the renewal or extension of Independent Prosecutor Statutes should be treated with scorn.

Independent Prosecutors are unaccountable legal thugs sanctioned by our government because the government is too cowardly to investigate contraversial issues. Independent Prosecutors have unlimited spending authority and no accountability to anyone. Independent Prosecutors have no time frame in which to conduct their investigations - and no limits to what they can investigate. They are at least as bad as the Star Chamber of old. Your Maximum Leader didn’t approve of Ken Starr. Your Maximum Leader didn’t approve of Lawrence Walsh. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t approve of the office at all.

In the Plame matter, the Independent Prosecutor investigates because he can. He will continue to investigate until he thinks it is time to wrap up. It can take another 5 years for all we know. It could take 10 years. You have no way of knowing. Will he find a crime? You know, he just might. Will he find a crime related to the “leaking” of Valerie Plame’s name? Your Maximum Leader doubts it. But if Patrick Fitzgerald looks for long enough someone will be charged with something.

Now back to the issue at hand. The one issue with which your Maximum Leader can not agree with many of his right-wing bretheren is that because Rove didn’t do anything illegal he didn’t do anything wrong. This is actually the crux of the matter. Your Maximum Leader feels that the White House made this whole situation possible by (wisely and rightly) saying that they were going to hold themselves to a higher standard. That standard should be (and is in your Maximum Leader’s mind) more than “we’ll punish people who break the law.” Your Maximum Leader didn’t support the President because he thought that, in the ethics department, the Bush people would emulate the Clinton Administration. What Rove did, even if it was just in deep background for a reporter, is highly questionable because of the national security argument surrounding the individuals involved. Because it is highly questionable behaviour, Rove should resign on his own. Should he not resign, he should be dismissed.

Now you might be saying “What about presumption of inocence?” or “How can you let the Democrats (or the Media) define the ethical standard for the President?” First off, your Maximum Leader is presuming Rove to be innocent of a crime. But we have evidence that shows that Rove did something more than we orginally were led to believe. The issue of Rove resigning or being fired is not a legal matter but a political matter. This has already dragged out for two years. It will drag out further the longer that Rove remains. If the President is serious about waging a war on terrorists, and getting social security reform, and nominating one (maybe two) Justices to the Supreme Court, and reforming Homeland Security you have to be somewhat free from distractions. Rove will be a distraction for as long as he remains in his job. As for the “letting the Dems define the standard,” the President defined the standard. One can’t really blame the Dems and media for trying to hold him to it. Your Maximum Leader will freely grant that the Dems and the Media would like to raise the ethical standard for the Administration to include jaywalking and failing to pick up your dog’s poop offences severe enough to merit removal - but in matters of national security the President already defined the standard.

Now, your Maximum Leader hasn’t touched on all the impropriety and conflict-of-interests on the Wilson/Plame side of this. There is more than enough scorn to heap on them. That Plame would send her husband on a mission to Niger doesn’t seem to strike anyone as odd. That Wilson would then return and start to claim that Dick Cheney pushed his mission - when that is not the case - is deeply troubling. That Wilson, and to some extent Plame herself, have demonstrated such a deeply partisan slant in this matter should have lots of people up in arms. Frankly your Maximum Leader would bask in the delightful irony of it all if Patrick Fitzgerald wound up prosecuting Plame or Wilson for violating some obsure federal nepotism law.

Your Maximum Leader actually agrees with everyone who says that this whole bit isn’t really all that serious. He agrees that Rove wasn’t intentionally doing anything wrong. And furthermore he agrees that the motives of his accusers are suspect. But he disagrees on the point that what Rove did can’t be construed to break the standard for behaviour set by the White House for themselves.

And furthermore, if Rove were to leave the White House (which he should) he would just get a head start on being the scourge of Democrats running for President in 08. Contrary to what Powermfn says, Rove would not fade into obscurity. He would be a super hot commodity among the ranks of GOP Presidential aspirants. And that side effect of all this isn’t being considered at all by the Dems who are too focused on the here and now to look beyond their noses at the longer road.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that Brad Pitt checked himself into a hospital in LA. His “people” say that he is suffering from “flu-like” symptoms.

First off allow your Maximum Leader to say that when suffering from flu-like symptoms he (your Maximum Leader that is) likes to lay around in bed and watch TV and drink juice and sleep. Why this solution isn’t good enough for Mr. Pitt is quite beyond your Maximum Leader. (The flu is a virus afterall. They don’t have drugs for it.)

Secondly, your Maximum Leader bets it is just a little food poisoning from that undercooked beetle Brad shared with Angelina in Ethiopia.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has become addicted to his new cell phone. No, your Maximum Leader is not one of those annoying people always talk, talk, talking away in public places on his phone. But he has found over the past two days that he has had to loiter in some very long queues at various places. Today it was in a Chipotle restaurant. He was waiting in the long queue and started to get bored. So he whipped out his handy Motorola Razr and started surfing the internet. Surfing the internet on his phone has suddenly become an addiction of your Maximum Leader while waiting in stores and restaurants. He just stands there and gets stock quotes, sports scores, news headlines, weather, traffic, everything really.

It was while waiting for his delicious burrito that he was surfing the news headlines. The number 8 headline displayed on the Yahoo News area (just below a story on Karl Rove and just above a story on Lance Armstrong) was this: Harry Potter Books Sold by Accident. So your Maximum Leader went and read the article. Well, well, well. Aren’t those Canadians tough. Not only were the lucky people who got the book before they should under court order not to tell anyone about the book. They have to surrender the book to the Publisher. One assumes that there would be a judicial consequence of not following the Court’s order.

So, to make sure he got this straight. Some 14 Canadians did nothing more than walk ito a bookstore, buy a book that was displayed for sale, and go home. For this they are now under court order to keep their mouth’s shut about anything they did read, and furthermore they are ordered to stop reading and give up their property to someone else. Damn. Next thing you know the Canadian Courts will be telling the people they have to give up their homes for strip malls containing more bookstores (which are part of a larger redevelopment scheme for the town)…

That all seems quite harsh. Would one of these 14 people be jailed for talking? Your Maximum Leader exhorts these 14 to defy the Courts! Your Maximum Leader will surely lead the “Free The Canada 14″ efforts.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader watched Scott McClellan squirm under reporters questions yesterday as more information becomes public about Karl Rove’s involvment in the leaking of Valerie Plame’s name to reporters. The latest installment of reporting from the Washington Post on this matter is here.

There are a few points which your Maximum Leader would like to make on topic.

As your Maximum Leader said to his loyal ministers over the weekend, if Rove leaked the information he should pay a price for it. We are now seeing the beginning of a sematic arguement about whether or not Rove leaked the information.

This sematic game is separate from the legal considerations. Frankly, your Maximum Leader feels that no law was violated in this matter. Valerie Plame was an analyst, not a field agent working undercover. That is a key consideration from a legal perspective. With the exception of the reporters involved, no one will be sent to prison for the commission of a crime in this whole matter.

Now, back to the semantics. Rove, from what your Maximum Leader has read, didn’t actually mention Plame. From Rove’s perspective this is probably tantamount to not leaking her name. But it has been reported more than once that Valerie Plame’s connection to the CIA was one of the worst kept secrets in Washington. You can’t exactly keep a low profile on the Washington social circuit when your husband is an Ambassador and well connected. So, looking at it slightly differently, by mentioning in passing that Wilson’s wife (who ever she may be) might be involved in the authoriziation of the trip to Africa you are pretty much the same as telling anyone in the know to ask someone who Joe Wilson’s wife is.

There is plenty of legal cover for Rove in this, but not much from a public relations/politics perspective.

And that is really what we’re talking about here. Much criticism was leveled at Bill Clinton (and his aides) taking precisely the position that is seems Karl Rove might be taking here. That position is “I didn’t break any laws, thus there is nothing to hold be accountable for.” And as your Maximum Leader recalls, that line seemed to work pretty well in the Clinto years. But your Maximum Leader isn’t here to bash Clinton…

Now, insofar as your Maximum Leader is concerned, he would prefer if George Bush’s Administration held itself to a higher standard than the Clinton Administration. Indeed, the President, Scott McClellan, Andrew Card and others are on the record about being committed to a higher standard. It would seem that under this higher standard the President (who we all know is loathe to let go people he trusts) should let Rove go.

That would be a great loss for the President. But let’s try and think through what it might mean in the greater context. If you were a Democrat wouldn’t you rather have Karl Rove sitting in a lame-duck White House working on policy? If he isn’t working for Bush, he’s gonna be working for some other Republican. Some other Republican with presidential aspirations. Do you really want that? Be realistic, Rove isn’t going to go back to Texas and raise some organic cattle and watch re-runs of The West Wing and cry in his Lone Star. He is going to start scouting out candidates for whom he will try and work his electoral magic.

So for Rove’s opponents this doesn’t look like quite as fun a victory as it might. Force Rove out for leaks, but then let him loose on the field of Republicans with presidential aspirations…

We’ll see out this plays out. Your Maximum Leader, for one, will be more than a bit disappointed if all the information comes out, and Rove is obviously responsible for the leaks, and retains his job. To allow the President to focus on the work at hand, Rove should resign.

Carry on.

UPDATE: Dr. Rusty says pretty much the same thing as your Maximum Leader. Only a lot less politely.

UPDATE 2: Skippy has a thoughtful breakdown as well.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw this: Strong Odors Expose N.Va. House’s Secret on the Washington Post today. He knows the street. It is in the area where he grew up. If there was a better photo, he might even know the house…

Why is it always cats? 273 cats in one house. Damn! Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think he could bear one…

The house is now condemned. One wonders if it will be torn down and replaced or if they will try and clean it. Your Maximum Leader votes to tearing down.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is gravely disappointed in his minions. So much so that dwarves will feel his righteous anger tonight. Your Maximum Leader will heap scorn, abuse, and pain on many in a futile attempt to get him to forget the indiginity done to his person.

July 9th was the second anniversary of this blog. Since it was a weekend he decided that he wouldn’t think much on it until yesterday… But then his thunder was stolen by those damned Llamas and their fancy-schmancy new site. Or it could be the fault of the Crack Young Staff and reviewing their fan-mail that caused you all to forget. Or perhaps you decided to leave your Maximum Leader’s site to read about how Gordon is going to be cast out of the great Zionist conspiracy.

Well… It doesn’t matter why. Y’all forgot anyway…

There is one way to make it up though… Visit your Maximum Leader’s on-line swag store. Then buy something. Buy a T-shirt. If you are a guy, you might like the “Well Hung” T-Shirt. If you are a lovely lady minion, you could get a tong and camisole. (Mrs. Villain officially endorses the Naked Villainy camisole and boxers as perfect sleepwear for the ladies.) And hey, if you are a lady and so inclined, you could buy a camisole/t-shirt/thong and mail your Maximum Leader a photo of you wearing it. (Preferably a “racy” photo.) Yes, you could be the official Naked Villainy Swag Babe!

Yes… Photos of a sexy Naked Villainy Swag Babe would make your Maximum Leader happy.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the lovely Annika has closed the voting and declared that her readers have voted that Beatrix Kiddo would whup Lara Croft’s arse. (As if we needed a vote to tell us that…)

The money line from Annika’s article: “…, the only thing Lara Croft could make explode was a pair of nipples through a quarter inch of neoprene.” And just what, your Maximum Leader asks rhetorically, is wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. It isn’t the five-point exploding heart technique, but those nipples are nothing to be sneezed at.

Anyho… The new poll is up. Maggie from “Point of No Return” vs. Nikita from “La Femme Nikita.” So basically you’ve got Bridget Fonda’s (remade) renegade street urchin turned government assassin versus Anne Parillaud’s original wild street urchine turned government assassin. This is a particularly hard one for your Maximum Leader. He really thinks that after Henry, Bridget is the best think about the Fondas. But Anne Parillaud just has a captivating effect on your Maximum Leader.

Of course it goes without saying that “La Femme Nikita” is the better film. Especially since “Point of No Return” is essentially a shot by shot remake of “Nikita.” Anne Parillaud is edgier and more convincing in the role. And she is dead sexy. Your Maximum Leader has lust in his heart for Anne.

Well… Go vote. Vote for Anne Parillaud’s original, edgy, sexy, Nikita.

Carry on.