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Another sign of the decline of civilization…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was perusing the news wires and found this: Mad monk’s member features big in Russian erotica museum.

Now your Maximum Leader wasn’t surprised when the sex museum opened in NYC. We are, after all, growing more accepting of sex despite our nation’s sometimes puritanical instincts. But the Russians? Humm… Perhaps it is all those years of repression under the Soviets?

And what the the provenance on a Rasputin penis? On second thought, your Maximum Leader doesn’t want to know.

Carry on.

RE: A different opinion

I dunno if I’d go so far as to say Reagan was a bad president. But the assertion that he was a uniting force in America is absurd. Reagan did more than his fair share to fertilize the divisiveness that came to a head in the Clinton years, and is currently festering in the pathetic administration we have in office at the moment.

One thing I will say about Reagan is that he posessed a certain subtlety and style that makes Dubya look like a clumsy pre-schooler with a lisp.

A different opinion

Reagan was a bad President.

Apologies to the Maximum Leader, but someone has to say it.

Still suffering from media-induced am nesia? Round out your memories of the ol’ Gipper legacy by reading this, this, this and this. And I’ll buy this book for any minister who will read it.

Believe.

NO! Surely not!

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is shocked! Shocked to discover that Republicans in Congress are thinking now that perhaps they shouldn’t spend taxpayer money like drunken sailors. (No offence intended if you are a drunken sailor.) It is good to see that Congress is beginning to realize they can’t just spend and spend and spend.

Congressional oversight is good. (Partisan takeover of oversight hearings is bad though.) Your Maximum Leader will wait to see how this one pans out.

Carry on.

RE: With Friends Like These

Is this the Same Putin who brought us Chechnya, and wants to bring back a Soviet-esque Russian Empire? Great guy to have agree with us.

With friends like these…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will let this article speak for itself. Putin Takes Bush’s Side Against Democrats on Iraq.

Carry on.

Mike Isn’t the Only One…

To use the Napoleonic Wars as romantic allegory.

Gentlemen, I give you Bananarama:

My my (my my) at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender,
Oh yeah (oh yeah) and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way:
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself.

Waterloo,
I was defeated, you won the war,
Waterloo,
Promise to love you for ever more;
Waterloo,
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you,
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo.

My my (my my) I tried to hold you back but you were stronger,
Oh yeas (oh yeah) and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight,
And how could I ever refuse,
I feel like I win when I lose.

Waterloo,
I was defeated, you won the war,
Waterloo,
Promise to love you for ever more;
Waterloo,
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you,
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo.

And how could I ever refuse,
I feel like I win when I lose.

Waterloo,
Couldn’t escape if I wanted to,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you;
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo,
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
Waterloo,
Knowing my fate is to be with you,
Woh-woh-woh-woh-Waterloo,
Finally facing my Waterloo.

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Bannanarama!?!?!?! Try Abba. After the Abba version (or should your Maximum Leader say versions?) all others are pretenders.

Darn Conscience

BigHo is at post 999. Do I steal the 1000th post? I want to, but it just seems wrong.

I knew Thomas Jefferson….

I don’t know how one would determine the best words ever written, but I would nominate the following exerpt from the Declaration of Independence.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. –That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

More to the point, I just felt like reading it into the record.

Why we’re better than the French

Brigitte Bardot’s in trouble for inciting hatred of Muslims. What did she do? She called Muslims “invaders, cruel and barbaric” in a book. And for this, she was CONVICTED of inciting racial hatred.

In America, to get her convicted, Muslims would have to go to court and prove that they aren’t “invaders, cruel and barbaric.” I mean, what if they actually are “invaders, cruel and barbaric”? Then it’s not exactly fair to the geriatric sex kitten, is it?

I quote

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Freedom of Speech. What a concept. Even for morons.

To read more about why the US is better than France, click here, here and here.

Suggestion to MaxLdr

Regarding that last post… I don’t know what medications the doctor put you on for that injury, but it’s about time to stop taking them. They’re imparing your ability to drive a blog.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em

MaxLdr re: BigHo

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader warns you all do no let him near farm animals… Before the Big Hominid left for Korea he called your Maximum Leader and asked for a favour. Of course, he is your Maximum Leader’s dear friend; so the favour was granted. Little did your Maximum Leader know that the favour was to borrow a division of dwarves to come to the Hominid’s Hovel and destroy the army of mutant farm animals that had spawned from the Hominid’s bowels! Your Maximum Leader was horrified. It was worst than anything one could imagine on the island of Dr. Moreau. It was even more horrifying than that one episode of the Simpsons when Dr. Hibbert had an island…

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Carry on.

BigHo re: BigHo

Luckily for everyone’s farm animals, I’m not currently on a schedule (have been off my weekly schedule since I moved), and probably won’t return to scheduled blogging until I’ve got DSL service from my domicile, wherever that might be eventually. So post at will, fellow minions!

(I wouldn’t mind getting to know some of the Smallholder’s cows better, though. Cows have really long tongues. Mmmmmm.)

_

Warning to Smallholder RE: BigHo

Be careful diverging from the weekly categories. He gets downright nasty. He’s been known to kick little old women in the knee, take candy from babies, and drop kick cute puppies as retaliation for those who post on the wrong day.

Better lock up your farm animals if you decide to do this.

The Charge of the Ronin

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader likes Frank J.’s stuff. He instructs you to go and read The Charge of the Ronin. It made your Maximum Leader’s day.

Carry on.

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