WTF?

Boy, if gay marriage causes such a stir in the US, imagine what THIS would do.

I sincerely hope that the Ag Ministers animals stay within their species. I mean, really.

How Convenient

My Father in Law is a Vietnam vet. He served as an Army intel officer right out of ROTC circa 1967, and saw combat. He’s also a lifelong Republican who has chosen to live in Maryland. go figure. He’s also completely intolerant of draft dodgers. It’s the reason he hated Clinton.

What boggles my mind is how he’s completely resentful of John Kerry’s military service. I continuously get e-mails from him about unconfirmable nit picky problems with Kerry’s war record.

So I ask him what about Dubya going into the National Guard, and all the associated problems with potential AWOL behaviour, and leaving early etc. His response is that “noone can prove it, so what’s the big deal.” When I ask him how he feels about Cheney who avoided going to Vietnam for various nebulous reasons, he doesn’t have a problem with Uncle Dick avoiding the draft, or service.

Gotta love hypocrisy. It’s OK for Dubya or Uncle Dick to avoid service entirely, but God forbig Kerry actually wears medals he earned.

So some of Dubya’s Nat Guard records have been lost? How convenient. Lost in ‘96 and ‘97? Sure. Right. Excuse me for being skeptical.

What we have here is a rich kid whose powerful Daddy got him out of an obligation to go to War by defending the skies over Texas from Mexican infiltration. And Dubya, for whatever reason, couldn’t even meet that obligation. War time President? Sure thing. George Sr. lied about his age so he COULD serve in WWII. That’s character. Being too drunk, or whatever, to show up to fly a jet over Texas? That’s pathetic.

Slay the fatted calf!

A Most Happy Blogiversary to the Maximum Leader!

_

What do Frank J and your Maximum Leader have in common?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader and Frank J have something in common. Both our blogs were started on July 9th.

We’re also devilishly handsome, quick-witted, and armed to the teeth.

Carry on.

Housekeeping, and being bad…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader needs to just throw out a few things for his ministers and loyal minions to consider.

First, the Minister of Agriculture (who’s dearth of posting is related to his crappy computer at home) has suggested a weekly poll or some sort of multiple choice question be added to the site. Your Maximum Leader has given this some thought and is not opposed to the idea. But, would it really be worthwhile? Although we’ve been getting more and more traffic of late (over 3200 visitors last month!) do people really want another poll?

Second, your Maximum Leader has tried (furtively at 3 am on Sunday mornings) to get Haloscan comments and trackbacks working. While he can get them to display, they seem to ruin the asthetics of the page as he can’t get them to display in a font/colour he likes. Again, the Minister of Agriculture has expressed his desire to have comments on the page. Also, the esteemed Dr. Rusty Shackleford has given the most compelling reason for adding comments. The comments cause you to reflect on what you have written; and can make you a better writer. Excellent point. But they also can be the domain of putzes and counter-revolutionaries. (And frankly if your Maximum Leader wants a contrary political opinion to his own he can always consult his Minister of Propaganda.) He may give Francey a call on this one and try again. If anyone has any thoughts on this matter they are welcome to shoot your Maximum Leader an e-mail. (Link on left.)

Third, your Maximum Leader is growing upset with his current blogroll layout. He likes the “Loyal Minion” category (for those minions so near and dear to his heart). But then when you get to “Villainous Bloggers” he feels he needs another category. While bloggers like Keith Burgess-Jackson, Annika, Anna, Dr. Rusty, BRD, Bill, Skippy and the Grand Vizier all deserve the title, the more mainstream (and higher trafficed sites) like Instapundit, IMAO, Allah and Du Toit should be sorted by some other type of nomenclature. But your Maximum Leader is not sure what to call that other title. Suggestions are welcome (again, e-mail your Maximum Leader using link on left). Perhaps he will send a Nakedvillainy T-shirt (or thong) to the minion who sends him the best suggestion.

And now we begin the “Being Bad” portion of the post….

Your Maximum Leader and his Minister of Agriculture are going on a ROAD TRIP!!!! Woo Hoo! We are going to pile ourselves into the Vilainmobile and run off (leaving our lovely spouses and progeny) to…. Long Island.

Yes… THAT Long Island. The one that is part of New York state. That big barrier island protecting Connecticut and Rhode Island…

Okay it is not the most fun destination. But there is a reason we are going to Long Island, NY. That is where you find Oyster Bay. And when speaking about Oyster Bay there is only one thing to see there… Sagamore Hill. The home of Teddy Roosevelt.

Okay… We’re geeks. And history geeks at that. But hey, if we pack lots of booze and guns and a digital camera and promise to share the pics it will be okay right? Right?

Really! We’re gonna be bad. We’re probably gonna cause the rangers up there to have heart palpitations with our badness… Wez gonna partay old school. (And at the same time have a great learning experience…)

Well… Moving on….

Another item in the “being bad” category. Your Maximum Leader just bought a movie on Amazon utilizing their patented “One Click” technology. He bought Bubba Ho-Tep. Your Maximum Leader is practically salivating waiting for the film to arrive. Indeed, he has made a space next to the deluxe “Boomstick” edition of Army of Darkness in his DVD collection. The space already longs to be filled by Bubba Ho-Tep.

Why is this bad? Well, let us just say that your Maximum Leader and his lovely, devoted, and sometimes willful spouse, Mrs. Villain, don’t often agree on what films to purchase for the Villainschloss DVD collection. Indeed, most of the films in the collection are much beloved by your Maximum Leader - and completely unwatchable to Mrs. Villain.

To illustrate this point, on your Maximum Leader’s birthday, Mrs. Villain looked over the DVDs sent as tribute and declared Monty Python’s Life of Brian, “Shit.”

Your Maximum Leader is sure that Mrs. Villain will not get even 1/1,000,000th the joy from watching Bruce Campbell (as Elvis) and Ozzie Davis (as John Kennedy) battle Bubba Ho-Tep.

And your Maximum Leader bought the film anyway.

Why is this bad? Your Maximum Leader promised Mrs. Villain that she would get to pick the next DVD added to the collection.

Oops!

Your Maximum Leader believes he will try to make it up to her by taking her out for dinner next week (around the time the film should arrive) at our favourite restaurant. Calling now to make reservations…

Carry on.

What!?! Another Quiz.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw this over on the Poet Laureate’s site (site not accessible in the Republic of Korea, the People’s Republic of Korea, and other screwed up places). He saw it on the lovely Annika’s site (site also not accessible in the Republic of Korea - and your Maximum Leader guesses the People’s Republic of Korea). And now here are the results of this quiz, as taken by your Maximum Leader.

Wackiness: 36/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 10/100
Leadership: 40/100

You are an SEDF–Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather thn destroying the weak and unsuspecting.

Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well–even those you have known a long time–because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.

You are not to be messed with. You may explode.

Your Maximum Leader leaves it to his minions to determine the accuracy of the test.

Carry on.

Remakes… Hmmm

One good, one undecided.

A broadway version of “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” with Hank Azaria, David Hyde Pierce and Tim Curry sounds like it has a lot of promise. Who knows, though. Still with that cast it could be really funny.

A remake/prequel of/to “the Pink Panther”? Ok, skeptical enough. But Steve Martin as a pre-Peter Sellers Clouseau? No. First of all, Martin is too old. Second of all, Inspector Dreyfus IS Herbert Lom. I don’t see Kevin Kline in the role. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I don’t think that Martin can pull off Clouseau. What made Peter Sellers’ Clouseau so great a character was Clouseau’s absolute ignorance of his on incompetance. I don’t think Martin can pull it off. One characteristic of a Steve Martin comedic performance is an awareness of the absurdity of his character. And I think that would ruin Clouseau.

Boozing it up.

So my wife and I are in “when the hell is the baby coming?” Mode. The latest sono (yesterday) estimated the baby at almost 9 lbs, and estimated my wife as being 41 weeks pregnant. Now huge babies aren’t typical in our family, as they are in the MaxLd’s family. My personal feeling is that her docs miscalculated her due date. I’ve felt this from the beginning. Oh well.

Anyway

For Fathers’ day, my wife splurged and got me a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label. I was shocked, and grateful, that she’d spend the bucks on alcohol. Blue label typically runs in the $150 to $200 range, so I was quite pleased.

So on Fathers’ day, my dad and I enjoyed this fine blended Scotch. I’ve long believed that stuff that expensive couldn’t be worth it. I can happily say now that I was
wrong.

So here’s my take on Johnnie Walker. I’ll admit at the start that I haven’t tried Green Label. It’s fairly new. Unfortunately, I can’t access the official Johnnie Walker web site, so I’m not linking to their descriptions of the various whiskies’. Here’s a link that should guide you to the official sites, but it’s not working for me at the moment.

Now, Red Label is just nasty and not worth considering. It’s good for mixing, or drinking with liberal ice and water added. But for really enjoying it as scotch, don’t bother.

Black Label is yummy. It’s got kick. A good 12 year old blend. Until recently, it was THE deluxe scotch in the Johnnie Walker stable. Now, with the additional colors, it’s not got the reputation it once had. Still, it pretty much rocks in my humble opinion. It’s smooth, yet it has smoke, a full flavor and enough of an edge to keep it interesting. And it’s affordable, which is a plus. The only negative right now is that I don’t have a bottle of it at home.

Gold label is an 18 year old. It’s completely different. It’s got a texture I haven’t experienced in the whisky world before. It’s a very thick, almost buttery texture, with a butter scotch flavor that is just wonderful. Frozen, this whisky is wonderful with good chocolates. Still, having kept it in the freezer for a while, I’ve taken it out. I prefer whisky neat at room temperature, and this one is no exception. I highly recommend this whisky. It’s about the best price you are gonna find for an 18 year old. Compare it to The Macallan 18 yar old Single Malt, which I’m told was recently selected the best whisky in the world by Whisky Magazine, and you find in Gold Label you can get a great 18 year old whisky for $40 less. Maybe not quite as good as The Macallan 18, but there isn’t much that is.

The Macallan might be the subject of another post at some point. If you haven’t tried it, go out and buy yourself a bottle of the 12 year old today. The Macallan is a wonderful contrast to The Glenlivet. Both are Speyside Single Malts, but radically different in flavor.

But I digress.

The feather in the cap of the Johnnie Walker range, Blue label has no stated age. I’ve heard it’s a 25 year old. Still, it almost seems to miss the point to focus on the age. It’s just a phenomenal whisky. I don’t have the words to describe it.

I recently bought a bottle of Gold Label for a friend as a graduation present for an MBA. He was a Single Malt snob who admits that JW Gold Label is better than most anything he’s had, save The Macallan 18. It might be a nice contrast to taste Blue Label and The Macallan 18 together. To see the best Single Malt and the best Blend side by side. And try JW Black Label and The Macallan 12 together. Two 12 year olds that rock, but are radically different.

Scary thought.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader read this on the Minion and Lackey blog and immediately thought of the Poet Laureate.

What? Too lazy to click through? Allow your Maximum Leader to quote in full:

You kids have it easy these days. When I was young there were no gerbils. We had to cram enraged weasels up our cornholes and we were thankful for ‘em.

Do you now understand why your Maximum Leader read this and thought of the Poet Laureate?

Carry on.

Bill’s problem.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was thinking about Bill’s recent post concerning his leving the National Geographic Society. (Your Maximum Leader is in good company in this as Keith Burgess-Jackson was thinking about the post as well.)

It is sad really when even “scientific journals” are becoming filled with political polemics. Your Maximum Leader is still a member of the National Geographic Society and has also recognized the slant in some of their more recent articles. Your Maximum Leader continues to be a member however because Mrs. Villain likes the magazine very much.

In point of fact, your Maximum Leader receives four magazines at the Villainschloss. The first is National Review. Your Maximum Leader has subscribed to NR since he was 15 years old. He has read it religiously every two weeks.

The second is National Geographic. Mrs. Villain has subscribed since she graduated from college and no longer had easy access to her parent’s copy. Your Maximum Leader always picked up a few months worth of National Geographic magazines when he visited his (now late) Grandfather and thus never subscribed until he was married to Mrs. Villain.

The third is American Rifleman. The journal of the National Rifle Association. The magazine is a nice benefit to membership. But, your Maximum Leader would belong to the NRA regardless of them sending him a magazine.

The fourth is Smithsonian. The offical journal of the Smithsonian Institution. Your Maximum Leader loves going to the Smithsonian, and has since he was a wee villain. Now he takes the Villainettes regularly. Soon Villain, Jr. will join us on our visits. The magazine comes with becoming a member of the Smithsonian. Since your Maximum Leader enjoys the discounts on things at the museums and invites to special events that comes with membership, he joined. But the slant in so many articles in the magazine towards a “leftist” or “politically correct” interpretation of history, sociology, or culture is quite noticable.

This brings your Maximum Leader to his point. For many years one of the editors of National Review, John O’Sullivan, has espoused “O’Sullivan’s First Law.” The law states: “All organizations that are not actually right-wing will over time become left-wing.” Your Maximum Leader fears that the National Geographic Society and Smithsonian Institution are both becoming victims of O’Sullivan’s First Law. They can hardly help it. They are in fields (education) that are dominated by left-wing voices and attitudes. The fact that they have held out as long as they have is a miracle.

Of course, if one was to sever contact with all left-wing, or left-leaning, institutions in our great nation what exactly would you be left with? National Review, the Weekly Standard, an a few other political journals. The New York Post, the Washington Times, and a few other newspapers (but none of national significance). No TV news channels. No entertainment programming on mainstream TV networks. (And only a few cable shows.) No mainstream music. (No great loss there.) And, perhaps, even this blog would be off the list. (As we do proudly host the commentary from the Minister of Propaganda and sometimes the Smallholder too.)

Your Maximum Leader doesn’t believe it is possible to isolate oneself from the left in our nation. But, then again, to be informed and part of the debate you shouldn’t be. There is the “know thine enemy” maxim to live by. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure what one can do, except continue to fight for the ideas and beliefs to which one adheres. As they say at Nationa Review, you sometimes have to stand awthwart history and yell stop.

Carry on.

Justice?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know how many of the links on his sidebar you actually visit. For your Maximum Leader, the links serve as a favourites list of sorts. He likes to go down the list and keep up with the other blogs.

Your Maximum Leader hadn’t read the Iowahawk blog in a little over a week. And when he did he was shocked to read the story of Shawn Howard. Your Maximum Leader also followed the links to read about this horrible murder on Jennifer Chancellor’s site as well.

So it seems as though two men, a local business owner and a manager in his employ (Josh Martin), were beaten by a homeless man with a metal pipe. The business owner, Shawn Howard, died as a result of this attack. The local District Attorney, Tim Harris (Tulsa, Oklahoma) is not prosecuting the attacker, one Terry Badgewell. D.A. Harris has said that Badgewell was acting in self-defence; although the only wounded people were Shawn Howard and Josh Martin.

It seems inconceivable to your Maximum Leader that the D.A. would not so much as convene a Grand Jury to see if there was evidence enough to go to trial. Perhaps some of the lawyers who sometimes read this site could comment on what legal issues might be in play here. For surely, your Maximum Leader doesn’t understand the current disposition of this case from the facts he knows. Alas the local newspaper website requires paid registration to view the articles it has published on this case. And the local TV station websites seem to purge stories after a few days.

This appears to be a miscarriage of justice in our nation’s heartland.

Carry on.

The Grand Vizier.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was wondering why the Grand Vizier had taken a hiatus without mentioned he was leaving town or something. It seems he was involved in a bad accident. Your Maximum Leader entreats you to go over to his site and wish him a speedy recovery.

Carry on.

While watching TV last night…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, rather than responding to the many congratulatory e-mails in his mailbox, was watching television last night and happened upon the film Armageddon on FX. He only watched the last 45 minutes or so (as he started channel surfing late).

Warning plot spoilers follow… Of course if you haven’t seen the film yet, it is unlikely that you will…

So your Maximum Leader is watching the film, and at the end, the brave Harry Stamper detonates the bomb that bifurcates the asteroid and saves the world. The movie shows scenes of people all over the world pointing heavenward and marvelling at the blast that saves them all.

Ten your Maximum Leader had a cynical moment.

Leaving aside the many problems of the film (concerning the real science of what was going on, etc., etc.), your Maximum Leader realized something…

If there was a giant asteroid on a collison course for our planet, and…
If the US was able to launch a mission to the asteroid to destroy it and save the world, and..
If the mission was successful and the US astronauts did save all humanity from certain destruction,…

then…

The French would still vote against a UN Security Council Resolution thanking the US for saving the world.
The rest of the world would still hate us.
A sizeable number of Americans would say it was just about oil.
And Michael Moore would make a film in which he would claim that Halliburton overcharged the government for materials.

Carry on.

Edwards and Kerry… Perfect together…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is being pretty retro, oui? What? You don’t recognize the subtle lifting of that old New Jersey Tourism motto from when Tom Keane was governor? New Jersey and you… Perfect together. Well… Let your Maximum Leader just move along then.

So, John Kerry had chosen John Edwards as his running mate. What does this mean?

Well, it means that now there is someone else on the ticket that Teresa can call “cheeky” and “sexy.” If John Kerry and Elizabeth Edwards are flying together somewhere and the plane crashes, would Teresa and John Edwards make that love match? They are both filthy rich. So that sort of negates the money motive for Edwards. Hmmm…

Actually, your Maximum Leader is pretty sure that this is an ingenious move by Kerry to force Bush to campaign in the south. Kerry has already been spending money and time in the south. He is trying to put into play states that (except Florida) would not be in play. This is either very crafty, or just a waste of time and resources.

Surely he will get that post-Veep-selection bounce. But will that bounce have staying power? Doubtful. Your Maximum Leader believes that many of the Democratic faithful (who will vote for Kerry anyway) will have some buyers remorse about his selection every time they see the sauave, dashing, and wholly-inexperienced Edwards on the campaign trail. They will sigh whistfully and wish that they had pinned their hopes to that dashing southern senator who made his money by exploiting our out-of-date laws concerning class action and medical malpractice suits. Your Maximum Leader asks you all, what could be more desirable for a Democrat than a sexy class-action lawyer?

(Okay, your Maximum Leader heard you all in the back snickering while calling out a career politicican from Arkansas…)

Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure what to make of the whole Kerry/Edwards southern strategery. If the economy continues to improve, and the situation in the middle east improves; all the time and money spent by Kerry/Edwards in the south is a waste. If the economy doesn’t continue to improve, and the situation overseas deteriorates, then the time and money spent in the south by the Democrats is a waste because the critical midwestern swing states are going to go Kerry/Edwards anyway.

So, Kerry’s southern strategery is a waste.

But that John Edwards is a cheeky, sexy, trial lawyer no matter how you parse it.

Carry on.

Many thanks.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to thank the many minions who either wrote or blogged kind words about the birth of the “wee Villain.” A few of you asked for some vital statistics. Your Maximum Leader will gladly oblige with some. The wee Villain was born on June 29. He weighed 9 lbs 2 oz (or 4139 grams for those of you on the metric system). He was 22 inches long. And although he doesn’t normally post photos of his progeny on the internet your Maximum Leader will break with tradition, here is your one (and possibly only) peek at the litle bundle of villainy.

The fruit of your Maximum Leader's loins.

There you go.

Carry on.

    About Naked Villainy

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