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Why we’re better than the French

Brigitte Bardot’s in trouble for inciting hatred of Muslims. What did she do? She called Muslims “invaders, cruel and barbaric” in a book. And for this, she was CONVICTED of inciting racial hatred.

In America, to get her convicted, Muslims would have to go to court and prove that they aren’t “invaders, cruel and barbaric.” I mean, what if they actually are “invaders, cruel and barbaric”? Then it’s not exactly fair to the geriatric sex kitten, is it?

I quote

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Freedom of Speech. What a concept. Even for morons.

To read more about why the US is better than France, click here, here and here.

Suggestion to MaxLdr

Regarding that last post… I don’t know what medications the doctor put you on for that injury, but it’s about time to stop taking them. They’re imparing your ability to drive a blog.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em

MaxLdr re: BigHo

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader warns you all do no let him near farm animals… Before the Big Hominid left for Korea he called your Maximum Leader and asked for a favour. Of course, he is your Maximum Leader’s dear friend; so the favour was granted. Little did your Maximum Leader know that the favour was to borrow a division of dwarves to come to the Hominid’s Hovel and destroy the army of mutant farm animals that had spawned from the Hominid’s bowels! Your Maximum Leader was horrified. It was worst than anything one could imagine on the island of Dr. Moreau. It was even more horrifying than that one episode of the Simpsons when Dr. Hibbert had an island…

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Carry on.

BigHo re: BigHo

Luckily for everyone’s farm animals, I’m not currently on a schedule (have been off my weekly schedule since I moved), and probably won’t return to scheduled blogging until I’ve got DSL service from my domicile, wherever that might be eventually. So post at will, fellow minions!

(I wouldn’t mind getting to know some of the Smallholder’s cows better, though. Cows have really long tongues. Mmmmmm.)


Warning to Smallholder RE: BigHo

Be careful diverging from the weekly categories. He gets downright nasty. He’s been known to kick little old women in the knee, take candy from babies, and drop kick cute puppies as retaliation for those who post on the wrong day.

Better lock up your farm animals if you decide to do this.

The Charge of the Ronin

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader likes Frank J.’s stuff. He instructs you to go and read The Charge of the Ronin. It made your Maximum Leader’s day.

Carry on.


Has anyone noticed that the Big Hominid has been a bit less prolific (or even profligate?) lately? He might claim that he is in the middle of a move and a job search, but methinks that he is simply building up to a megapost for his 1,000th blog entry. He is currently on post 992.

I’m sure he has a scarily philosophical, scatological, meditative, and even demented cartoon epic up his sleave to celebrate post 1000.

Little does he know that I’ll be lurking in the shadows, ready to post an insipid and inane single sentence. The sentence will have nothing to do with his vaunted posting regimin. In fact, it won’t fit into his daily categories at all. Perhaps something about Vitus Bering.


Uh-oh. Maybe Mike Won’t Like Me Anymore

UPDATE FROM YOUR MAXIMUM LEADER: Somthing about this Smallholder post is causing site problems. So alas, your Maximum Leader felt he had to delete the content. Let it suffice to say that the Minister of Agriculture took the Polygeek test and scored only 25% geek. Your Maximum Leader also took it, and scored 30% geek. If you, my minions, would like to take the test, the URL remains below.

Carry on.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at

Battle Hymn of the Republic

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has always been a great admirer of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Your Maximum Leader suggests you read over those lyrics and think about them. Strong stong words.

Carry on.

David Frum on NRO

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader agrees with David Frum’s assessment of letting Bill Clinton speak at Reagan’s funeral. If Clinton wants to speak, your Maximum Leader thinks he should be allowed to. Alas, his speech would likely be the most moving, as he is the best speaker among our living ex-Presidents (and frankly, our President). If you want to read Frum’s assessment: David Frum’s Diary on National Review Online

Carry on.

Love Match for the Minister of Propaganda?

Idly clicking on our villainous profiles, I discovered that you can click on interests to see if anyone else has them in their profiles. Kind of neat.

First off, why am I the only one in the blogosphere who has “Mad Dog and Glory” in profile. You are all a bunch of philistines.

Secondly, I came across an interesting fact; all but one of the bloggers who like “Big Trouble in Little China” are men. Go figure. But one cool chick does list the Rob and I’s movie: Jess of The Lunchbox Assassin. And then I notice that she lives in Hollywood. The yentl in me is working overtime.

I just did a quick scan of her blog. She’s got some talent, has a theatre background, and, as an added bonus, throws in a visual reference to Lumbergh.

Heh. Go read, minions.

Update from your Maximum Leader: The Minister of Propaganda and the Foreign Minister really ought to complete their profiles… Hint. Hint.

Moe Reagan.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was blubbering like a woman yesterday evening. He sat in the Villainschloss watching his TV and was fine. Until Cheney’s speech. Why the hell did your Maximum Leader lose it during Cheney’s speech? How the hell can your Maximum Leader be moved to tears by Dick Cheney? Then when Mrs. Reagan patted the coffin, your Maximum Leader cried some more.

All your Maximum Leader can say is that President Bush’s speech is going to have to be damn good to beat Cheney’s.

Around 10:30 last night, Mrs. Villain asked your Maximum Leader how much longer he was going to watch C-Span’s coverage of people passing by Reagan’s coffin? His reply, when they stop broadcasting it.

Your Maximum Leader got more teary eyed when Margaret Thatcher came in to pay her respects to Reagan.

Does all this crying mean that your Maximum Leader has suddenly gotten in touch with his nurturing side? Churchill cried alot too, and he was no wussy…

Your Maximum Leader is going to leave a very pregnant Mrs. Villain and take his wounded leg (bad calf tear) and go to the Capitol this afternoon.

He only hopes he doesn’t cry.

Carry on.

Rachel Hunter, Aussie Tory?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, while never having had a “thing” for redheads; he does have a weakness for like-minded women. So when he read this he was intrigued. A redhead Aussie supermodel who seems to share some of your Maximum Leader’s political views! Grrr baby! Very grrr! (Too bad she can’t vote.)

Carry on.

Bidding you welcome…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to visit the many new visitors who appear to be coming this site over the past few days. Your Maximum Leader is not sure if this is a factor of both your Maximum Leader and his Minister of Agriculture have been featured in posts recently by our favourite, Keith Burgess-Jackson. Did your Maximum Leader mention how much in awe of Dr. Burgess-Jackson he is? This man posts regularly to three blogs! Three! Stop the insanity.

Of course, you could be visiting because a number of sites have linked to your Maximum Leader’s recounting of his one minute with Ronald Reagan. (Thanks for reading it, but excuse the bad grammar in the title. Your Maximum Leader was going to fix it, but discovered that it was already linked on other sites, and changing the title would mess up the link.)

Anyway… Like Dracula, your Maximum Leader bids you welcome to his internet home. All he needs now is the sounds of the children of the night…

Carry on.

This Is When Being Organic Bites

This is what I am dealing with in my tomato and pepper plantings.

Seeds can lay dormant for sixty years. Roots twenty feet down.


Hand control.

Every day - the stuff grows at least six inches a day.


Mulching like a fiend.


I know something the foreign minister can do when he gets back to the states.

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