Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is always amazed to read what things people find in dusty attics. But discoveries by individuals of interesting artifacts in private homes doesn’t really amaze him. Afterall, he’s sure that we all have stuff we never knew about tucked away in boxes here and there. And those boxes can go decades or generations without being opened.

But what really amazes him is when someone finds some interesting artifacts in a collection that had been donated to a college, antiquarian society, museum, or other research institution. One would think that the donation would be catalogued and inventoried at the time it was accepted. Your Maximum Leader knows that colleges, antiquarian societies, museums and research institution are generally not swimming in cash therefore they don’t always catalogue or inventory donated collections.

And because of that you sometimes get a great find. Like the one announced today by the Smithsonian. It seems that a researcher has found “lost” photos taken during the Scopes “Monkey” Trial. The official release from the Smithsonian is a 2.75 MB pdf found here.

What an amazing find. According to the release there is an action shot of Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan on the lawn in front of the courthouse arguing some point. (The trial was moved out of the courthouse onto the courthouse lawn due to the crowds.)

And for the first time in his life, your Maximum Leader now knows what John Thomas Scopes looks like. He’s read all about the trial, but never seen a photo of Scopes.

It is pretty incredible stuff.

If you Maximum Leader weren’t being Maximum Leaderly, he wouldn’t mind just volunteering to go through and inventory and catalogue various collections at the Smithsonian. He wouldn’t be an efficent worker, but he’d have lots of fun.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that there is a mini-kerfluffle concering members of the Northwestern University Ladies LaCrosse Team wearing flip-flops to their White House meeting with President Bush.

First off, your Maximum Leader is glad that college-chicka footwear is a big enough story to deflect ome attention away from Karl Rove. But frankly, to maximize the cover that this story could bring to the White House your Maximum Leader suggests that some other Senior White House Staffer start dating one of the women atheletes in question. Perhaps it should be Scott McClellan. Or perhaps they could bring Ari Fleischer back just for this mini-scandal.

Secondly, the flip-flops in question, while probably not what your Maximum Leader would allow one of the Villainettes to wear to the White House don’t appear to be that eggregious. But your Maximum Leader will defer to others who know these things better. Like the very lovely Annika, or perhaps Minion Molly.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the wire that General William C. Westmoreland has died.

General Westmoreland was for a time commander of US forces in Vietnam. Your Maximum Leader is conflicted, as are so many Americans, about Westmoreland. Personally, your Maximum Leader feels that Westmoreland did the best he could with the resources at his disposal and under the conditions for action set for him by LBJ and Robert McNamara (et al).

Westmoreland was, to say the least, a contraversial figure. May he now rest in peace.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader continues to be amazed at how hard the whole Rove story is being played by both sides. The Dems will not rest until Rove is hanged. And now the President has officially lowered the ethics bar to the “you had to do something illegal” level to be fired.

Of course, this issue would be a non-issue (almost) if Rove were to step aside on his own.

Perhaps there is another aspect of this. While the Rove story burns bright, other stories are on the back burner. Like potential supreme court justices, social security, the war. All that stuff. Is is possible (though improbable) that the Administration is working behind the scenes while the l’affaire Rove keeps attention focued elsewhere?

Anyway… For more thoughtful consideration and punditry on the Rove situation, so and read Skippy’s latest. It seems your Maximum Leader isn’t the only one who makes Skippy feel sexy any more…

There is only one item which your Maximum Leader would like to interject into Skippy’s point. It appears that there is a list kept by the CIA called the “NOC” list. It was mentioned by Eleanor Cliff and someone else (Mort Kondrake?) on some of the Sunday talk shows. To hear it spoken about, this “NOC” list is a master list of undercover CIA agents protected under the 1982 Intellegence Agents Protection Act that is at the heart of the legal case against Rove. To hear these pundits talk about it, Valerie Plame was not on the “NOC” list. Where this is made unclear is that the CIA referred this leak on the Justice because there is some internal CIA discussion about how certain subject matter experts (SME) may need to be covered under the law without being on the “NOC” list. Your Maximum Leader will try and find some transcripts and update this post accordingly.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has, from time to time, been known to play computer games to let his escape from the daily strains of being Maximum Leaderly. He recently bought “Rome: Total War.” Well, he bought it about a week ago, but just loaded it Saturday night and started playing.

Now your Maximum Leader is a great fan of all the Total War games. He bought Shogun: Total War and then moved on to Medieval: Total War. Until yesterday night, he would have told you that Shogun was the best game. He would have said that for many reasons. It was so ground breaking and innovative. You get macro-level strategery for your faction and you get unit command on the micro-level when you battle other factions. The animations were excellent. And those cool movies everytime you attacked something with a ninja were cool.

Medieval brought many new features and complexities. But it also added time. It was a longer game to play. It really wasn’t so much a reinvention of Shogun as much as an improvement in some areas that didn’t always need to be improved. Still an excellent game, but its added complexity diminished it somewhat when compared to Shogun.

And then there was Rome. Now the campaign mode of the game looks to be even longer than Medieval. So that might not be a plus. But there are better animations and more angles at which to view both the strategic map and the battle map. Rome has made considerable improvements in how reinforcements are made during battle. Also, the way terrain is chosen on which one fights battles is vastly improved.

Though your Maximum Leader can go on and on about how much of an improvement Rome is over the other games, all the improvements pale in comparison to ONE.

The object of the game (in Rome: Total War) is to lead one of the three great Roman families to become Emperor and conqueror of most of the world. You can choose the Julii, the Brutii, or the Scipii. Each family has members (depicted on a neat family tree) who are your generals, governors, and so on. Your family can also recruit diplomats, spies, and assassins. All these “characters” (ie: family members, diplomats, spies, and assassins) can have retinues. These retinues are sub-characters who add to or detract from certain abilities of the main characters they follow. For example, in your Maximum Leader’s game many of his diplomats have translators in their retinues. Having a translator in a diplomat’s retinue makes it more likely that the diplomat can complete a mission. Some of his family members have siege engineers, poets, priests, exotic slaves, philosophers, and playwrights in their retinues. But there is one retinue that just made your Maximum Leader laugh and laugh and laugh. It was the ONE improvement to which he just alluded.

In the game your Maximum Leader recruited/trained an assassin. This assassin was sent on a number of successful missions. He killed two Gallic diplomats and then a Gallic general. After killing the Gallic general a message indicator appeared on the screen. It seemed that the assassin had acquired a retinue. This was strange as your Maximum Leader couldn’t imagine what sort of a retinue an assassin would have. So your Maximum Leader read the message. The assassin had a cataite in his retinue.

A catamite.

Heh.

There are probably two readers of this blog who will find this as funny as does your Maximum Leader.

For the rest of you loyal readers… Sorry. Inside joke.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was over reading JohnL’s fine blog when he saw this web-thingie to get your own battle cry. So, in a never ending quest to surpass the Big Hominid’s post total here is another stupid post…

According to this machine your Maximum Leader’s battle cry is either:

Or this:

Of course, your Maximum Leader already has a battle cy. If you recall it is: “Close your eyes!” He doesn’t need anything more fancy. After all, he was born of Time and Struggle, is Protector of the Realm and Vanquisher of the Other Kingdom, and is the prophet, sage, leader, and lover of you all.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wants to relate to you a little incident of which he heard outside a movie theatre.

(Imagine Aussie accents if you will…)
Patron 1: G’day there mate. That was a pretty good film, eh?
Patron 2: Wha? Pretty good? Crikey! That was the best bleedin’ film you’re gonna see this side of Sydney.
Patron 1: I dunno mate. It was pretty good and all. But don’t you think that it wasn’t all it could be?

Patron 2: Whattya mean? It was artsy. There was plenty of violence. And it’s got that Jessica Alba in it. She’s hot mate. Really hot.
Patron 1: Sure. The film was entertaining, but it didn’t contain any of the required elements of an Aristotelian tragedy. In that respect, it didn’t adhere to a classical form; which as we call can agree is a requirement for superlative filmmaking.
Patron 2: What are you saying? You high?
Patron 1: I’m just saying the film is good. Not great.
Patron 2: I think you’re fuckin’ effete bastard. Who the fuck do you think you are mate? Roger-fucking-Ebert? You’re certainly fat enough to be.
Patron 1: Now there’s no reason to start cursing mate…

Patron 2: Whattya mean “there’s no reason to start cursing mate?” Of course there’s a reason. You’re fuckin’ mad. Mad. Mad. Mad.
Patron 1: Stop that now. I’m not mad. You’re provoking me.
Patron 2: Provoking you? Now you’ve gone round the bend my friend. Round the fucking bend.
Patron 1: Don’t say that. I’m just trying to say.
Parton 2: I don’t really care. Shut up.
Patron 1: I’m just trying…

Patron 2: Shut up.
Patron 1: No really, I’m…
Patron 2: No. Shut the fuck up.
Patron 1: I really don’t…
Patron 2: If you don’t…
Patron 1: But I…

Patron 2: Alright! You’ve ad it.

[Patron 2 bites nose off Patron 1 and flees into the night.]

Well… That’s what is might have been like anyhow.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that there can be serious cardio-vascular reprecussions for watching porn in India.

Stop snickering! Not that type of cardio-vascular reprecussions.

It seems police made nearly 200 men who were watching a porn movie were forced to do sit-ups in public to shame them. They were also made to promise that they would never watch porn again.

First off… Who knew that porn was illegal in India? You know with a population of nearly 2 Billion people you might think that they would want to encourage more masturbation and less reproduction. But that aside…

Who knew that doing sit-ups in public was shameful? That doesn’t seem so bad to your Maximum Leader. Now surely watching your Maximum Leader do sit-ups might not be that much of a joyful experience to you, but it doesn’t seem all that shameful to him. In India is there a cultural more about exercising in public of which your Maximum Leader is unaware? Are there no gyms or fitness clubs with large windows facing the street so that passers-by can gawk at the hardbodied patrons work out?

All-in-all, this story has made your Maximum Leader wonder more about that mysterious place called India. (Or in-jah for those of you who prefer the old British colonial pronounciation.)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader loves “throw away lines.” You know the ones. The casually stated quip that is really funny and clever.

One of your Maximum Leader’s favourite throw away lines was delivered by Harvey Korman in History of the World Part 1. Korman was playing the Count De Monet in the Louis XVI part. After his catty (and heretofore unnamed) sidekick said something snide Korman turned and said, “Don’t get saucy with me Bernaise.” That is a great line.

Well. Your Maximum Leader was over on Phin’s Blog and he read a great throw away line. It is on the masthead right under the little fishy Phin. It made your Maximum Leader laugh.

Carry on.

UPDATE: Because Phin’s tag lines rotate (like your Maximum Leader’s) the one to which he was referring was, “Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the Big Hominid is forecasting the rising of the crueler than Kali mistress that is this blog. Well, fear not… That black day is not yet upon you. Yes, for now the Big Hominid (and presumably the rest of you) may rest easier knowing that the day when Naked Villainy surpasses and far exceeds Hairy Chasms in the total number of posts published has not yet come. And it might not for a week or two.

Why you ask? Well, it seems as though the other various bloggers here aren’t posting too much over the summer. So there is that. And due to a confluence of odd circumstances it looks like your Maximum Leader will not be able to post quite as much as he would like.

Anyway, it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Of the 2052 posts on Hairy Chasms, the Big Hominid has written almost all of them. Of the 2044 posts on Naked Villainy he figures he’s only written about 60%. So that has to be worth something.

In other news… The Naked Villainy site redesign is coming along well. It shouldn’t be too much longer…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has, from time to time, in this space lusted after Giada DeLaurentiis. Although it looks as though Giada needs to eat a little more she is still pretty hot. This subject even became a discussion point for Brian as well. Indeed, Brian went so far as to say he would like to be the deli meat in a Gaida DeLaurentiis/Rachael Ray sandwich. Frankly, that is place your Maximum Leader wouldn’t mind being either.

Well… With that in mind…

Your Maximum Leader stumbled upon a open letter to Rachael Ray from a blog called “Blind Cave Fish”, but subtitled: “jess needs a spanking.”

Now your Maximum Leader can’t be sure, but depending on how cute Jess is and what it might lead to he might be willing to administer the spanking. If he cannot, well then he could always recommend Skippy.

Anyho…

Jess at Blind Cave Fish seems to think that Rachael Ray is not hot and should stop acting like she is. Well Jess. You are wrong. Rachael Ray is hot. Not only because she will wear a skimpy outfit for FHM magazine, but also because she would probably cook dinner for us in 30 minutes (in a skimpy outfit) and then gush all over us about how great sex with us is. Trust your Maximum Leader on this one. Cute girls who cook for you and then go on and on about how great sex was are great. To quote Paris Hilton, “That’s hot.”

Sure Rachael is a little overexposed (ahem). And she is almost annoyingly happy. But she is really really cute. And she looks like she’d be lots and lots of fun to hang with. And guys like cute, happy girls. Brooding ain’t sexy.

So Jess, lay off Rachael. She’s just being herself. And call your Maximum Leader if you really need that spanking.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that there is a review of the new film The Aristocrats on the Reuters news wire.

Thanks to a loyal minion, your Maximum Leader now knows the joke. And it turns out, he remembers seeing a comedian (forget the name) say the joke as he was bombing at a comedy club in Dee Cee circa 1989. Perhaps the reason he couldn’t remember the joke was that a) there are so many variations on the theme and b) he tried to blot out the memory of that awful comedian he saw so many years ago.

Without meaning to sound all hoi-polloi and effete, (though he is) your Maximum Leader wonders if this joke isn’t like comedian jazz. Have you ever seen sheet music for Jazz? It is a few measures to get things going and then to wrap up the piece. So from two sheets of music you might get 10-15 minutes of improv among the great musicians.

Perhaps “the Aristocrats” joke is the same. You have to *BE* there to get it. Because reading the transcripts of the joke don’t really do it for your Maximum Leader.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must say that that fuali.com site is quite addictive.

That Diva’s Fight Club is fun. Your Maximum Leader would have to say that Lil Kim is probably the toughest of the bunch. But he’d pay money to see Lil Kim and J-Lo smackdown. Me-ow!

BTW… Your Maximum Leader has also just seen for the first time the Jessica Simpson video for her remake of “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’.” And let him go on the record… It stirred… Feelings… Powerful… Feelings… Not as powerful as Skippy’s feelings for Jess, but powerful nonetheless.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, in a desperate attempt to distract himself from other matters, has decided to go ahead and take a whole bunch of quizzes from over at fuali.com. Some suggested by Brian and others by the Llamas.

So. Your Maximum Leader will see your two, and raise you two.

I am 17% Hippie.

What? Am I a Republican? Why did I even bother taken this test?! I guess I??ll back to my George W. Bush fan club and tell them I just wasted 10 minutes of my life. At least I don??t stink, man.

Take the
Hippie Test
@ FualiDotCom

I am 5% Idiot.

I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.

Take the
Idiot Test
@ FualiDotCom

I am 24% Geek.

I wanna be a geek. But I’m not. Why would I even want to be one. Do I think it’s fun? I should try writting an online test application at 1 am in my underwear

Take the
Geek Test
@ FualiDotCom

I am 50% Internet Addict.

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I’m just well connected to the internet and technology, but it’s really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the
Internet Addict Test
@ FualiDotCom

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was speaking to his sainted mother last night. But before jumping in a little background may be in order. Your Maximum Leader’s sainted mother lives on the same street she grew up on. For many years the house up the street was owned by a brilliant man who’s wife loved gardening. She passed on in 1985 and he recently remarried and moved to a huge horse farm in the country. Before moving, he sold his house (and large lot) to a developer. His house was demolished. The wooded lot cleared. And now 3 “McMansions” are being built on the same spot.

Anyhow… When the old house was demolished, the basement of the house was exposed. And remaining in the basement of the now-gone house were racks and racks of gardening chemicals. They were purchased between 1949 and 1985.

Your Maximum Leader’s sainted mother worried that there might be unstable chemcials in the mix. She worried that any chemicals down there might be harmful if not disposed of correctly.

Your Maximum Leader on the other hand wondered if there was any DDT in the racks. Cause if there was, he’d go and get it.

Damn. Wasn’t DDT such wonderful stuff?

Okay. If you are Rachel Carson is wasn’t.

But stop and think for a moment. DDT eliminated malaria in the US. One of the biggest killers of Americans in the South - eliminated by one chemcial. You don’t hear much about malaria in the US. Because there isn’t anything to talk about. For that we should all thank the Rockefeller family and DDT.

DDT, when not overused, is a great chemical. And it is a much maligned chemical. Just read this piece from Junkscience.com Your Maximum Leader would love to get some DDT and fog around the Villainschloss this time of year to kill off the swarms of mosquitos coming up from the small pools in the woods near the Villainschloss. They breed so quickly. The frogs and such just gorge themselves on mosquito larve and still the little bloodsuckers just keep coming. And they are those nasty tiger mosquitos. The ones with the little stripes on them. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t remember seeing the striped mosquitos when he was younger.

But he’d bet that DDT would kill them.

Carry on.