Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the coast of California is being assulted by giant squids. No beachgoers are safe! Run for the hills! Check that. Run for the hills that aren’t washing into the sea to be devoured by giant squids!
Do you think that there could be a connection between parts of California washing into the sea and the presence of the giant squid? Is this mother nature trying to cull some of the human herd?
Carry on.
It’s because the great-great-great-grandparents of Californians made a pact with the Devil.
God in his infinite mercy is punishing California for the sins of their ancestors.
Or, alternatively, God is mad that there isn’t enough gay-bashing going on.
Uh, well, sir, me and the other minions, we, that is, well, sir, we had thought that this was your evil handiwork, sir, please and thank you.
Motives?
We don’t inquire into those, sir, no sir, not even a little bit.
I would like to take credit. But if the squids were mine they’d have frikkin’ laser beams as well as tearing beaks.
