Joe Scarborough… Dead to Me. (UPDATED)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sometimes happens to be watching a TV program and the host, guest, talking-head says something so absolutely moronic or otherwise offensive that it becomes impossible for your Maximum Leader to watch that person ever again.

On Septemeber 11, 2001, your Maximum Leader watched Peter Jennings for the last time. After the World Trade Center had collasped and we were still wondering what was next, Peter Jennings was showing live feed of Palistinians cheering and dancing in the streets of Gaza. That much your Maximum Leader could live with (as hard as it was to see). But then Jennings said something to the effect of “well you can understand why they are so happy considering how the US behaves.” At that point your Maximum Leader switched off Peter Jennings forever.

Well, in a much less egregious outburst, Joe Scarborough of MSNBC is now on the list that is best described as “He/She is dead to me.”

This is not to say that your Maximum Leader watched a lot of Joe Scarborough. He doesn’t. But once and a while your Maximum Leader might stay on Scarborough’s show if the guests and topics seem interesting.

Last night Scarborough was talking to various people about the horrible shark attacks in Florida. Then in wrapping up the segment Scarborough said the words that will forever echo in your Maximum Leader’s ears and make it impossible for him to watch Scarborough ever again.

Joe Scarborough said, “If we could understand shark culture better we might be able to avoid these attacks.”

What?!?!? Your Maximum Leader turned to Mrs. Villain and said, “He didn’t really just say we needed to “understand shark culture” did he?” To which Mrs. Villain responded that in fact that was what he said.

Understand shark culture?

Is Joe Scarborough just a huge fucking idiot? They must wipe the drool off his chin during commerical breaks to hide that fact from viewers.

Understand shark culture?

Great jeezey chreezey. Somehow it is comforting to know that if only we would bother to translate the literature of the shark, we could avoid sharks attacking humans. We should feel guilty for not knowing the intricacies of shark interpretive dance. There would never be another shark on human attack if we could marvel at the splendor of the great underwater shark cities and grow to know their ancient history. Shark feeding frenzies off the beaches would be harmful only to baitfish if we could read the poetry of the shark Maya Angelou or ponder the profundity of the shark Plato.

Of course, it is partially the fault of the sharks. Have they bothered to understand our culture? Have they read Faulkner, Tolstoy, or Hardy? Do they know the tales of Hemmingway? (Okay, scratch Hemmingway…) Have they seen the pyramids?

We just don’t understand each other…

Joe Scarborough. Thank you for educating your Maximum Leader about what he doesn’t know about shark culture. While your Maimum Leader will now never watch your show ever again, please know that you will not be cancelled in the MWO. You are just the type of blathering moron your Maximum Leader will need to keep on the air to feed mindless tripe to the masses.

Understand shark culture…. What a friggin’ idiot.

Carry on.

UPDATE: Okay. Your Maximum Leader thought he’d best check the transcript of the show to be sure… Well, here is the transcript.

Joe Scarborough said the following:

SCARBOROUGH: Man, I’m afraid you’re right. You’re mixing-you’re mixing two different species, two different cultures. And, unfortunately, the results are tragic.

Okay. He didn’t say we needed to “understand shark culture.” But he did say that mixing two different cultures produced tragic results.

Again your Maximum Leader says “Shark Culture?” What the hell is shark culture?

Not like it makes much difference. Scarborough is still dead to me.

Carry on.

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