The fact that I worship at Skippy’s feet has nothing to do with my sophomoric translation. Taught to me by Mr. Richard Anderson, late of Green Bay (WI) Central Catholic High School (1954), of Oshkosh West (WI) High School 1997, and late of this Earth, God Rest His Soul, in 2010.

If you substitute “penis” with “unit”, or “member”, you get a better translation, even in the Google translator.

I remain the Maximum Leaders obedient servant, and yours very respectfully, etc,

Big Fred

You’re too kind, my friend.

Alas, I didn’t have multiple women to share my birthday with. Just one.

I’m guessing that “life begins at forty” is just horseshit.

Please kill me.

I can’t believe I’m commenting on this, but “dick” in Latin is more likely to be mentula or verpa (penis initially referred to a tail and is only used in the, shall we say, more proper authors as a reference to the male organ). Google Translator is not to be trusted, especially when it includes the non-Latin word “of”!

I’d go for something like “fortunis excurris mentula magna impotens est.” If anyone cared to read the book Latin Sexual Vocabulary, there are probably tons of ways to make that even more racy in Latin. You can even leave out the “est.”

As for the source? Not Ovid, I’m pretty sure, and I checked Martial and Juvenal; I’m betting the Priapeia (you can find a translation online) or something in Vulgar Latin.

Actually, on further thought, I like better:

“fortuna amissa mentula magna impotens.”

It makes it difficult to tell which is the ablative absolute and which the nominative, so to avoid that:

“fortuna amissa impotens mentula magna.”

But that doesn’t emphasize the impotens.

I’m going now.

Don’t go Arethusa! Don’t go! I am enjoying this very much. I feel like I am learning something very important (to me at any rate).

I thank you very much for the help you have provided. I really apprecate it.

I didn’t really go, I just slunk off before my nerdery could embarrass me further.

If you put this on a t-shirt, I get a discount, right?