In penance for being AWOL lo these many moons, I offer the Maximum Leader the following taglines for the rotating masthead from an office e-mail:

Chaos, panic and disorder - our work here is finally done.

We’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Validating yout inherent mistrust of strangers you meet on the internet.

Yes, the Minister of Propaganda is an agent of Satan. But his duties are largely ceremonial