Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had just a moment so he decided to write a quick entry. The impetus behind the entry was, ostensibly, the op-ed piece in the Washington Post today by Henry Kissinger concerning the rise of Angela Merkle as Chancellor of Germany. You should take a moment and read what Henry wrote on the subject.

But the article reminded your Maximum Leader of a dream he had the other night. Once before he’s blogged about a dream he had. That one wasn’t too wierd. This one was sort of odd…

If you are interested… Click below the fold… Otherwise…

Carry on.

Happy Blogoversary

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to take a brief break from his vacation to with his favourite wooly, meaty, and snippy bloggers a Happy Blogoversary. He thought, for some mad reason, that they had been blogging for longer? Humm… Time flies when one is contemplating Melissa Theuriau…

Robbo and Steve, your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy hat and wishes you many happy returns.

Carry on.

The Coup Begins

A few posts ago, I asked readers to come up with an appropriate “farewell address” for the Naked Villains.

And now the Maximum Leaders says he is going on vacation?

We all know what happened to the despotic Shah when he went on “vaction” for treatment in America.

Just call me the Ayatollah Smallholderehni.

We shall put a sword to the infidels!

When the revolution comes, my friends, Naked Villainy will be all artificial insemination, all the time!


Do you suppose the Foreign Minister will cover for the Mximum Leader? We haven’t heard from our warmongering right wing ideologue in a while.

Greg: Here are some suggested post topics.

Why Germany’s strict labor protection laws have hobbled economic growth.
The German view of the French riots.
Why Sweet Seasons Farm is the bestest vacation spot EVER.
How living abroad has changed my opinions about gun control.
Maximizing the fat content of milk through genetic improvement.

Oh wait. The last one is mine. I know you will all be on the edge of your seats before I get that one up.

For The Maximum Leader

Loyal Minions of Naked Villainy know that one of our favorite topics is artificial insemination. Okay, it is one of my favorite topics:

Bonnie Lass Bonnie
Norweigen Red genetics
Grass fed dairyin’

So much cow data
Focus: fertility, long teats
Excellent love match

Bonnie is pregnant
Frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
Smallholder’s herd grows

Today we have a story involving artificial pollination.

Plus, the story involves the Maximum Leader’s stinky favorit plant, the Titan Arum. (I’m too lazy to provide a link to his paeons to the smelly flower. He can feel free to add a link if he is so moved)


Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wanted to let you know that he is going to be taking a little blog vacation. He’s got lots going on this week and has decided that he’ll probably not blog much or at all. Consider this fair warning.

This is not to say that he’ll not pop in from time to time and post a little something. It might happen. Just to keep you on your toes. Under ordinary circumstances your Maximum Leader would tell you to keep checking this space for pithy observations from his various ministers. But he’s not sure he can even promise that knowing that his ministers are men-about-town and quite busy.

In the meanwhile check out the high quality blogs on the blogroll… Buy some Naked Villainy stuff. (It makes a great holiday gift!) And otherwise…

Carry on.

Words That Make Smallholder Smile

Words are cool.

The following words entertain my little mind:

Preposterous. It sounds like what it means.

Moonbat. Adding “barking” in front of it and it makes me think of a Lovecraftian apparition.

Assclown. Vulgar and insulting, but it makes me chortle.

Chortle. Chortle makes me chortle.


Ig’nant. The opposite of erudite. As in: “Boy, youse so ig’nant, ya couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the ’structions were on the heel!”

Pugnacious. It too sounds like what it means.

Pernicious. Followed by knids.




Enigmatic. Though what it means is a mystery to me.

What words amuse you, oh Ministers and faithful readers?

The Vatican Rag

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, using his keen spider sense, notices that we’ve gone a few days without an Intelligent Design/Evolution/Science Curriculum frackas.

So, here is a little gas for the embers:

Vatican Official Refutes Intelligent Design.

Debate away.

Carry on.

The End of the Matter

The death of the blog can either be a great tragedy or a mercy killing. Sadie is a bit upset that some of her blogrollees (is that a word) have given up the ghost.

I am still inconsolable about the death of Kilgore Trout’s Chaotic Not Random.

Farewell messages are interesting windows into the minds of our departed bloggers.

Some cite the need to prepare for real publication.

Some cite real world crises. (Is that the plural of crisis?)

Some cite the petty meanness of the blogsopshere.

Some admit that they have nothing more to share.

Some, like Skippy the uber-whiner Luddite with blogger crash problems, just want their egos stroked before they come back to blogging.

This got me to thinking. The Maximum Leader and I have no literary ambitions, stable lives, thick skins, inveterate bloviators, and can’t stand whining. So, having removed the usual suspects, what could make us quit?

It strikes me that there a humorous answers to this question.

Unfortunately, I’m not a humorist.

But some of you are funny people.

Comments are open. Write a blog farewell message for either the Maximum Leader, Smallholder, or even the Minister of Propaganda. Extra credit if you can work “nimrod” into your MOP letter.

For Bill and Brian

Here is a thoughtful application of theology to current events as discussed over at the Volokh conspiracy.

Would Martin Luther advocate turning the other cheek?


Would Martin Luther cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war?

Who Knew That Micheal Kinsley Reads Naked Villainy?

Micheal Kinsley ought to pay me royalties. Of course, he writes better than your humble servant of the soil. He’s probably one of them fancy book-larnin’ types.

UPDATE: Sorry for the original erroneous link. It is now fixed. That is what happens when you work on your class blog and a friend’s blog at the same time.

Seekrit Note to Sadie: You know that it’s not mud.

Love Shack

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just laughed and laughed and laughed when he thought about all the dignitaries in Busan, South Korea for the Asia/Pacific Economic Summit staying in love motels.

On your Maximum Leader’s visit to South Korea (many moons ago) to visit the Big Hominid he learned about the ‘love motel.’ If one is not acquainted with the subtleties of hotel grades in a foreign country it is easy to see how a “love motel” could be mistaken for a “regular” hotel. Heh.

Carry on.


Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader feels he’s neglected you all a little bit. It has been something of a madhouse at the Villainschloss of late. Long story. The details of which he will sheild from your innocent reader eyes. Trust him. It is for the best.

Anyho… He sat down yesterday evening to write the Men’s Club post only to discover that this internet connection was down. Your Maximum Leader called his ISP and discovered that someone had unplugged the main server or something at the local office. He roundly chastised them and threatened flogging… And in the meanwhile decided to play some Rome:Total War…

So this morning he alighted to discover internet functioning… And something else! Midriffs.

Well one midriff exactly. Ally’s midriff. Sadie and Phin over at Apothegm have created for the lovely Ally! Go on over and check it out.

Excursus: You know, dear minions, that Apothegm gave Naked Villainy it’s new hip look. They are da bomb. As some people might say. Call Apothegm if you need to pimp out your blog.

And congrats Ally on a great new site.

Carry on.

Landlord Quiz

You have three people who want to rent your house. You talk to them on the phone and they fill out a rental application.

To which person do you rent your house?

a) Family of four. Father is retired military. Makes north of 90 grand a year working for a defense contractor. Has a security clearance, one of the conditions of which is the requirement to pay rent on time.

b) Young guy with pregnant wife. When he asks about the rent, you tell him it is $1600/month and that you want the equivalent of a month’s rent as a deposit, as well as the first month’s rent in advance. He says, “So that’s what, $3400? He fills out the application and makes $11/hour at McDonalds.

c) Fifyish couple moving to the area for new jobs in academia. They have sold their house and want to live in the area for a year before they buy. They had paid off their mortgage on the house and aren’t used to making monthly payments, so ask if it is okay to go ahead and write a check for the whole year’s rent in advance.

Who do you rent to? Explain your answer.

All Praise the Big Hominid

You know the Big Hominid is a good teacher.


Because he is always thinking and evaluating the success of his lesson plans.

See here for an example of what good teachers do every day.


I have noticed that many of our friends in the blogosphere have taken to referring to the Maximum Leader and his minions, collectively, as the “Naked Villains.”

Please stop immediately.

For the record, Mike is the Naked Villain.

Your humble Smallholder remains fully clothed in flannel and denim at all times. Sometimes I’ll take off the seed company hat, but that is as far as I’ll go.

Furthermore, Mike is the villainous one. Your humble Smallholder is a paragon of virtue.

Just remember:

Maximum Leader: Perfidious Blowhard.

Smallholder: Font of Truth.

Carry, as they say, on.

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